11/25/2008

Hi...How Are You?

Seemed like the appropriate way to open the post, given that I have been such a slacker blogger. As always, things are rock and rolling around here and I just haven't had any extra time.

So...where to begin.

Bailey is doing well. She is home sick today, and I'm at home with her (hence the reason I have the time to blog). Just a random fever, with a huge helping of whininess. Kelly had to pick her up yesterday and so I'm here today. Other than that, things with her are good. She's hit one of her lulls in the growing department. Sometimes it's like leaps and bounds and other times not so much. This is one of those not so much times. She's just...well...Bailey.

Connor is growing. A lot. Fast and furious. Kelly has certainly reached that stage of pregnancy where she is just tired of being pregnant, she is too pregnant to ignore it and there is still 3 months to go. She's sick of it and this is the time that Connor is going to become a bigger presence. I remember this stage well, and it sucked. The only good thing is that she is almost never nauseated. She is just pregnant. Since I last posted, we've gone past week 26 (and we didn't post a picture...hell, we didn't even take one!). We are planning on taking a photo this Friday...a 27 week photo. To usher in the 3rd trimester.

Speaking of photos - tomorrow morning, we are having our official holiday portraits done at the cheaper-than-dirt-get-a-million-photos-of-the-same-shot place. We liked them alright last year, and we are at it again this year! We promised ourselves that we would always take a holiday portrait right around Thanksgiving, so that we have the record of our family from year to year. So...off we go. Then Bailey will go to daycare and Kelly and I will have the day.

We plan to spend it decorating the Christmas Tree. Yes, we need to decorate...but it already up. I spent most of the day on Sunday juggling a very, very interested Bailey while I wrapped 1600 colorful lights around each branch of a 7 foot tree. I scratched the hell of out myself and about halfway through I considered giving up...but in the end I have an absolutely beautiful Christmas tree standing in the front window of our living room. I wondered what I would think of colored lights...as I have used white lights since I moved out of our home. But we wanted to make the tree fun, colorful and exciting for Bailey. And wouldn't you know...this is the most beautiful tree that I've had since I was a kid! Honestly, all the work I put into it paid off. I can't wait to see it full of all of the special ornaments we have collected over the years. We also bought a huge box of shatterproof, brightly colored, glittery ornaments to go with the colored lights. We are thinking that Bailey might be able to help put one or two of them on...but maybe not. Kelly and I love decorating the tree and while it will become a family affair when the kids are bigger, I think right now it will stay a grown up event. I'll post photos when it is finished.

Speaking of babies (was I speaking of babies???) - my sister-in-law had her son last week! Carson Thomas was born on Tuesday, November 18 weighing in at 8 pounds, 14 ounces. He is super-cute...but my favorite photos so far have been of him and his sister, Camryn. You might remember that Bailey and Camryn are only 3 weeks apart. Now, Carson and Connor will be about 4 months apart. It's awesome that they have cousins so close. What sucks is that we live 4 hours apart, and while that doesn't feel like that much when I say it, it sure feels like a lot when we consider going to visit. We are hoping when all the kids are older that traveling will be easier and they can get to know each other better.

What else? Hmmm...we have our christmas shot of Bailey with Santa. It took much cajoling and Santa had to give Bailey a Curious George sticker...but we ended up with a shot of her mostly smiling. It's good enough for this year. I'll post that photo too.

You might wonder why I am talking about posting photos, but not doing it. The reason is that we no longer have internet at home...except Kelly's work laptop. Hmmm...maybe I can connect the camera to this. Hmmm...I'll need to explore that.

The other news in our family is that I have decided to take myself out of the running for the HR Benefits job that I talked about a week ago. While I am a shoo-in for the job, it would require that change my hours to 8:30-5 PM every day. With our commute that means that I would get home at 6:30 or 7 PM, depending on traffic. Bailey goes to bed at 7. After doing a bunch of soul seaching and weighing my professional goals against my personal committement and obligations to my family, I decided that this job just wasn't the right opportunity for right now. I can't take a job that will essentially take me out of my daughter's life for five of the seven days of each week. And when Connor gets here, there will be a second child to think about and all the extra work that goes along with having two children under the age of 2. In the end, I just decided that there will be other opportunities at a time in my life when the timing makes more sense. For now, I will stick with my department and my fantastic coworkers and my flexible schedule.

So...that's what's going on. We are doing nothing for Thanksgiving...except cooking. We're having ham, not turkey, with mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, carrots and rolls. I'm making a pumkin pie and a cheese cake. We are going to spend the day in our sweat pants, entertaining Bailey and just hanging out together. We'll do some shopping on Friday and Bailey will spend a couple of hours at school to get her social time. Then more family time.

Have a wonderful holiday everyone!

11/20/2008

Pregnancy Milestones

Look, look! Today we are out of the single digits...only 99 more days to go! We have our 26 week doctor's appointment tomorrow morning and from there we have appointments every 2 weeks.



It's starting to feel like our Connor is getting closer to being born!



WAHOO!

11/18/2008

What's To Say?

Not much has been going on for us. I haven't written because there just isn't that much new to talk about. We are approaching 26 weeks in this pregnancy and getting more and more excited. We are happy that the holidays have arrived, because it gives us something else to think about. We are busy planning our Thanksgiving time off and putting together an agenda for the things we need to get done with it.

Kelly is pregnant...and that about sums up her experiences right now. She's at the stage of pregnancy that I hated the most and remember the most clearly. She's not pregnant enough that people are sending sympathy her way...in other words, her coworkers still act as though her pregnancy isn't a major factor of each moment of her life. But she's far enough along where her pregnancy is, in fact, the sole definition of who she is. She is being a champion through it and pushes herself through each day. The last four nights she is has slept like shit, which makes the day nearly intolerable. We're getting through it. One moment at a time.

Bailey is doing great. She is her usual sunny self. She is right where she should be. We are looking to transition her to the 18 month old room (which is just the other side of her current room). All her favorite friends have transitioned and now it's time for her to go to. I need to get on the daycare staff about it. The amount of advocacy we do for Bailey is astounding. Maybe we are pests. I really don't care. Her best interests are our concern and our only concern. We pay her facility $265 a week. A fucking week. So, if we need to push them to get our needs met, we will.

As for me, well, things are just fine. Not much to report. I'm waiting for the formal announcement of my transition at work to take place. Once that happens, it will change pretty quickly. My boss leaves on December 13 for a 3 1/2 week trip to Australia and New Zealand. That will slow things down a whole lot in our department. It will be a nice way to end the craziness of this job and transition into the much slower pace of my new job.

Tomorrow, I am going to see Kooza - the new Cirque de Solei (is that how you spell it???) performance with my job. We have an executive reception and then fantastic seats. I'm staffing the performance, so I can't drink...but I have to drive anyway. I wouldn't be drinking even if I could. BUT...I get to watch the performance for free, from spectacular seats that would have cost $300 per seat if I had purchased it myself. I've always wanted to go, and while it is going to suck to not see Bailey tomorrow night, I can't wait.

Hmmmm...nothing else, I guess.

11/13/2008

Big Changes

There are big changes coming down the pike for me. It is 99% sure that I will take on the role of Benefits Coordinator in my law firm at the end of the year.

I will be leaving my current department and completely changing the work that I am doing. And honestly, it will be a huge change. New boss, new coworkers and most of all, completely new job functions.

I don't have any experience in Benefits. Nothing real, anyway. I've dabbled a bit in my current job, but have never administered benefits to an entire firm. I have gotten this opportunity because I have been so successful in my current position and they have confidence in my ability to learn the job quickly and get this area under control. The current Benefits Coordinator is completely failing at keeping the job in control. The organization is non-existant and the work coming out of her department is inaccurate and shoddy.

I'm being tasked with fixing it, giving the Benefits area credibility and learning it all while I am doing it. With very little training and even less supervision. The HR manager, who will become my new boss, knows very little about the area of benefits.

So, it's all on me.

I'm extremely excited. Mostly, I'm excited because this is a career path that I'm interested in pursuing. Eventually, I will take my knowledge and move into the government. The government pension is a huge draw for both me and Kelly. The continuation of health care benefits upon retirement is another.

I've done a lot since I started working at real jobs in 2002. I know a lot about law firms in general, and have spent all but 2 years (where I worked for an incredible non-profit that gave me the confidence to do my job now) working in the law firm environment. I'm certain that I can do this job, but it's going to be a challenge.

I'm excited by the change. I'm excited to feel like I'm advancing my career in a way that makes sense for the long-term. I'm proud that my reputation is so strong that the senior management of this firm has confidence in my ability to excel in an area that I have no background in. I'm delighted that my work load will be cut in half.

I'm mostly just excited because I know that I can do this job. I know that I can be good at it.

11/12/2008

The Proof Is In The...

Well...in our case, it's in the bill.

We got our cable/phone/internet bill from Comcast just about a week ago and it was still showing the old bill, before we made changes. It showed us owing $161, to cover service for the next month. I called to confirm the correct amount, given our discontinued service and was total our total outstanding bill was $9.83.

That's right - $9.83.

Hot damn. That's what I'm talking about!!!!!!!!!!

In other news - Kelly worked too hard and learned a rough lesson yesterday. She mowed our yard (a task I have taken over since she got pregnant) over a period of 4 hours while off for Veteran's Day. Last night, she was in so much pain. Her hips were hurting her in ways that they have never hurt before. Her entire body is struggling to adjust to the weight gain. Having been a woman who carried around very little body fat her entire life, the addition of 15 pounds is rough. And of course, there is the natural spreading and shifting that is occuring.

She's a hurting woman right now.

We have decided not to go anywhere for Thanksgiving. We had considered West Virginia and we considered Maine...but in the end, we're staying home. It is far to much for Kelly to be traveling right now. The physical stuff is only one part of it. The stress of traveling while she is so moody is another part of it. The fear that Bailey won't sleep away from home and that, in turn, Kelly won't sleep is a third part of it. Then, there is the reality that if we stay at home and both take Wednesday off, we'll get Wednesday and Friday without Bailey to just be adults and have some time for us. We'll lose that if we go somewhere else. I'll get to spend Wednesday putting up our Christmas tree and making pies for Thanksgiving. We'll get to finish our Christmas shopping on Friday and organize all of our baby clothes for Connor.

Stuff that we won't get to do if we go somewhere.

Granted, we'll be alone for the holiday, and that will be sad. But we live far away from our families, so I guess it is to be expected. If anyone who reads this will be in the area and is looking for a family to spend Thanksgiving with, come our way. Dinner is at 1 and will be a traditional stuffed turkey, mashed potatoes, homemade rolls, green bean casserole and olives and pickles. Homemade apple and pumpkin pie for dessert. Wine for me. We're planning to eat while Bailey is in bed napping, so that we can linger and enjoy the meal. We'd love to have anyone who is interested come join us!

Christmas is going to be wonderful as well. My Mom and my best friend are coming down from Maine to join us (at least, that is the plan right n0w) and we are just going to have a low-key, festive, warm-fuzzy kind of holiday. I can't wait...

That's all for now.

11/11/2008

Our Growing Connor

This was the bump at 20 weeks...



And now...at 24 Weeks!

Halloween Pictures!

Bailey was an angel for Halloween. We did the school party, but did not take her trick or treating. She can't eat sugar due to allergies and it just seemed cruel. Besides, she was exhausted. There is always next year...

She hated her costume. Hated the tights, hated the itchy dress, hated the halo. Oh well...maybe she's our fallen angel???
















11/07/2008

Connor

He's a healthy, perfectly proportioned, growing boy! What an incredible experience.













11/06/2008

Meanwhile...

Enough politics for now. We are where we are. I'm thinking that when I turn 30 (in about 6 months), I might get back on my political bandwagon. Maybe a little political fight for gay marriage rights will get my blood flowing again.

BUT...enough of that for now...because there really are other things happening and other things that I care about much more.

I can think of three things right off the bat!

Bailey is rockin' her world right now. The latest development is that she counts to 5. No shit. It's just memorization, because when given the numbers (we have foam numbers and letters in her bath), she has no clue. But when you say "one" and hold up your finger, she will follow and say 2, 3, 4, 5. If you then say "six", she will say seven and then eight. She hasn't gotten 9 and 10 yet. Pretty cool.

The ironic thing is that Kelly and I do not actively teach Bailey. I mean, we don't sit down and "do numbers" or anything like that. We play with them - we put them up in order on the tub and say them as we are doing that, but her response has always been to just bat the numbers down. So we do it again. Same thing with letters. We are not actively teaching anything yet - we just sing the alphabet song and read to her constantly.

The thing is, Bailey is just smart. Who knows if this will last, if this is developmental or what. Honestly, we don't care. Our singular goal for Bailey is that she live a life that she is happy with. That she find her satisfaction and can look around at her world with joy and comfort. I don't give shit what she becomes - that is going to be her choice. I care that she gets her high school diploma and I'll push pretty hard to get her into college, but in the end, that will be her decision. So I really don't care if she is smart or advanced or whatever. Seriously.

But it's really cool to have your 18 month old look at you from the backseat of the car and tell you the numbers. That really is cool.

Connor is a growing boy. He is expanding and his Mommy's belly is growing with it. Kelly has reach the point of no return - her body is forever changed. No stretch marks yet, but she is very pregnant and it shows. Connor moves constantly and Kelly feels them all. He is now big enough that she feels him when he rolls, when he stretches, when he just wiggles for more comfort (we assume that's what he's doing, anyway). At night, when he gets really active, I spend time with my hand on Kelly's belly and feel our little boy kick and roll around. His greatest periods of activity continue to be about 20-30 minutes after Kelly eats. Our boy likes food.

Tomorrow we get to have another ultrasound. They were not able to see the spine, so we go back. We will have new pictures, and probably a 4-D shot, since our radiology office seems keen on giving them to us. We certainly don't complain. This will be our last, unless we have to have a sizing ultrasound. For Kelly's sake, I hope we don't.

At our last doctor's appointment, we scheduled all our appointments through the due date. That was kind of exciting to me. It's nice to be preparing to play the end game. Tomorrow marks the completion of 6 months of pregnancy...24 weeks along. We are inching closer to that magic mark where survival is much more likely if something really crappy should happen. I think we will both breathe easier when we hit the 30 week mark.

Well, I will anyway. Kelly's breathing is already seriously hampered by our son.

All the usual emotional effects are taking place, but there has been a bit of a period of calm. I think the most obvious effect right now is the exhaustion. Kelly is tired all the time and when she is not tired, she's dead on her feet. She is doing an amazing job keeping up with Bailey and me and has been a champion about helping around the house when she can. It was a rough start, but honestly, Kelly is a fantastic pregnant woman. She's really doing a great job going through it with a young child to care for...something I did not have to deal with.

And have I mentioned how beautiful her body is? God help me. She's a beautiful pregnant woman.

The holiday season is here and we are making many plans for the next two months. This weekend, I am putting together a craft project that will be incorporated into our Christmas cards this year. We are making plans for Thanksgiving and my Mom and Andrea are coming to our place for Christmas. I am beginning to think about decorating the Christmas tree in just a couple of weeks (I try to have it up the day before Thanksgiving) and we are introducing the concepts of "the holidays" to Bailey.

Yesterday, while driving to daycare, I told Bailey that this season was called the holiday season and that there are two really special holidays. I told her about how we spend this time with family, and how we give back to the world around us. I then explained a bit about Thanksgiving. She was very quite for a minute, and looking in the mirror, I could see her pondering what I had said. Then, quietly, she looked up and said in a small puzzled voice, "Happy 'ween"?

HA! I guess she understood that I was talking about a "holiday"...but since the only holiday she remembers or knows is Halloween, that is what she could come up with. Very funny...

Last weekend we went to Lowes to get mulch for our gardens. We walked in and they had all their Christmas stuff set up. Bailey took one look around and said "WOW...Momma, what is it?" This is one of her "key" phrases. I took a happy look around, my eyes filled with tears as I stared at the symbols of a holiday I love so much and said, "Honey...this is Christmas."

And so it begins. Kelly and I are starting to plan the gifts this year. I want to get her a keyboard of some sort - she loves music and I want something more advanced that what she has. I'm also interested in getting her one of those town rugs, that has streets and buildings and stuff...and a bunch of matchbox cars for her to push. I wanted to get her a tee-ball set, but I think we've decided to do that for her birthday in May. Makes more sense. Other ideas that have been thrown out are an easel and all the various supplies that go with it, a dollhouse of some sort, a play kitchen, and a doctor's kit. The theme this year is going to be on imagination and fun. This is the time for her to learn while she is playing. There will be plenty of time for full-on educational toys. I want her to have stuff to engage in active play, in self-driven imagination. I want her to be able to do art and to have toys with enough energy that she begins to learn some focus...some more long-term enjoyment (longer than her usual 5 minute max). Of course, we won't get everything on our list. That would be excessive and no child needs that much. In fact, I think it overstimulates and makes it harder, rather than easier, for them to concentrate.

The other thing is that we are going to try to stay away from light up, blinking, electronic toys. Those were great when she was little, as all the sound and colors were stimulating. But now, she needs to start using her mind to create the excitement.

God, I love this time of year. I really, really love it.

11/05/2008

Winning and Losing

I'm so conflicted this morning.

I am, of course, delighted in the large Democratic victories all over this country. I eat a full slice of humble pie - after all, I did say that Obama couldn't win. Boy...did he ever prove me wrong.

The biggest victory of all is the turnout. Finally, people have started to care. I hope this trend continues and that Bailey and Connor grow up in a world were not voting is not an option. For that reason, I am glad that I voted yesterday. I would have ended yesterday disappointed in myself if I had not voted.

With that said, bans on gay marriage passed all over this country.

Arizona passed a constitutional amendment to limit the recognition of gay marriage to one man and one woman. It was also on the ballot in 2006, but failed.

California is looking like it will pass their amendment to limit marriage to one man and one woman, overturning a judicial ruling that allowed same-sex marriage earlier this year.

Florida was able to secure their required 60% of the voters to amend their constitution to limit marriage to one man and one woman.

If you think this is the end of it, you're wrong. The worst of all comes out of Arkansas. In Arkansas, they passed a ballot measure that actively prevents gay couples from adopting children or acting as foster parents. Specifically, "This measure would prohibit unmarried "sexual partner[s]" from adopting children or from serving as foster parents. The measure specifies that the prohibition applies to both opposite-sex as well as same-sex couples."

Abortion rights won, though. California did not pass a constitutional amendment that would required parental notification (not consent) prior to a minor receiving an abortion. Colorado overwhelming refused to pass a constitutional amendment that would have effectively banned all abortions, by declaring "human life" from starting at the moment of conception. South Dakota also did not pass an ballot measure that would have ended all abortions, effectively.

So there are wins and losses and I am torn. I don't feel celebratory. I feel moderately relieved, but so sad that gay couples are so targeted right now. I wish people could open their eyes and look at the lives of us, really look, and see that we're not so different. Really, we're not. We're just another family, trying to love each other and stay strong through the shit. We're two women, trying to raise happy, healthy children that give something back to the world. We're just human beings trying to live in our world.

Anyway. Those are my thoughts for today.

11/04/2008

I Voted

I stood in line this morning for an hour, but ended up voting for Obama. I went back and forth, trying to decide if I should vote for Nader (Independant)...but in the end, went with Obama. Not sure why.

All I know is that I voted.

Now, on to tonight were I will grieve the lack of Tim Russert on my television.

11/03/2008

Home Changes

Nothing major, but over the weekend, Kelly and I decided to go back to our values and get rid of most of our cable, our internet connection at home and our telephone.

It was also a financial decision.

We were spending $160 a month on a packaged deal - including all three. We had high speed internet access, way too many digital cable channels and a telephone. The thing is, though, we were also watching too much television and I was spending too much time on the internet.

Kelly and I both feel very strongly that home time should be spent at home...not at home with your nose in the computer or zoning out to the TV. We generally hate the values that are presented on TV and have never put Bailey in front of the TV. Sometimes, on Sunday mornings, we will turn on PBS and let her watch whatever is on. And sometimes she actually pays attention for a minute or two. But she's never watched TV and so she's not really into it.

What it really comes down to is that we just don't want to be that family. I don't want for us to sit around and watch TV together as a family, when we could be talking, reading, playing games, being outside. We just think there are better options. Rather than just say that, we decided to actually make it happen.

Now, instead of $160 a month, we are paying $20 for limited basic cable (just the networks, PBS and the weather channel!).

We've been wanting to take this plunge for a while. I'm so happy we finally did!