Bailey
Our Bailey is doing very, very well right now. She seems to have hit another one of those points where one day she is years more advanced than she was just the day before. For instance, her already advanced language skills seems to have advanced a bit further. She is talking in full, complete sentences at all time. The other day, I asked her if she was cold (because it was windy) and she said, "No Momma, I'm not cold. I'm warm." Okay. That answered that question. She's also doing some pretty clear logical thinking. We were at the park, and I asked her if she was hungry. Just like that, "Bailey, are you hungry?" She looked at me for a second and then said, "No, I'm not hungry, I want to stay at the park." Obviously, she has figured out that the wrong answer to that questions will mean that we'll leave the park and go get food. And she didn't want to leave the park. She dresses herself. We don't really have her do it all the time, because she's not great at it. But she can get herself completely naked and then mostly dressed (she struggles with the socks) without must issue. She sings full songs from start to finish.
Really, she just blows my mind right now. She has fully transitioned to her big girl bed without any issues. She wanted it and now she sleeps in it. Done. This Friday morning, we are going to throw away all the binkys in the house. She is really, really going to struggle with this one. Other than just hanging on through hours of tears and no sleeping, I think we'll be okay. This is one struggle that is going to break her heart...but it's time. She is two and it needs to go. Connor doesn't use a binky. Occassionally, we'll give it to him, but he almost never wants it. He'll go binky-free at the same time, just for consistency.
We are still pending potty training. She's not really focused on it right now. I have to believe that there will come a time when she will pursue it. They put her on the potty multiple times a day at school and we will soon start doing the same at home on the weekends. I think the right first step will be to get rid of the diapers all together. But this is not an issue we are pushing or feel any urgency about.
Finally, our perfect eater is no longer a perfect eater. In fact, she is downright finicky!!!! She really only wants cereal or pancakes for breakfast, and mac and cheese and turkey hot dogs all the rest of the time. And mandarin oranges. We can get her to eat other pasta dishes, but rarely anything else. Some chicken. Some cheese. Not much else. It's frustrating, but I am comforted by the fact that all kids go through this.
Connor
Our Connor is going through the same type of development spurt that Bailey is going through. It seems like overnight he has morphed from a helpless infant into a baby. He has long periods of being awake, he's sleeping 6-8 hours at a stretch at night, with a second 2-3 hour stretch after a feeding. I walked into daycare yesterday and found him playing in their exersaucer! Our freakin' 3 month old baby was playing and having a great time!!! We got ours out and cleaned up again last night and he played in the one at home too. He recognizes us clearly now - all three of us. He smiles and hugs. His Mommy is his favorite person in the world. Partly, I assume, because he is still exclusively breast-fed...but also because she just gets him. They are very, very similar creatures. He gets thrown by loud craziness...unless it is the usual loud craziness of Bailey. Generally, though, if she cries and carries on, so does he. He doesn't like to feel disconnected. He doesn't like to be left for any real period of time by himself. He seems to be as social as Bailey, but in a different way. He likes to be around people and busyness...but he doesn't interact with it the way that she did. He watches. He ponders. He stares. He is going to be an observer in the same way that his Mommy is an observer.
He seems to find lots of comfort in me, so I am not too upset that Mommy is his clear favorite. LOL - it was bound to happen that way. He relaxes with me and snuggles with me. He is a bit thrown, though, because nearly every time he is in my arms, Bailey wants to be there too. She doesn't much like it when I spend exclusive time with Connor. We are working on that and forcing the issue some, because she needs to share. She's adjusting.
He's pretty big at this point. He's in 6-9 month clothes for the most part. He's probably 15 pounds, although he hasn't been weighed in a while. We are still medicating him for yeast, but it seems to be getting better. Kelly is also still being medicated for yeast. At this point, we are just trying to keep it managable. We've read that it will probably not completely go away until we can isolate him (meaning, until he is not breast fed). Kelly is committed to at least 6 months, so we are 2 1/2 months away from the isolation happening. She may decide to go longer.
Bailey and Connor
Bailey and Connor are developing a relationship. I guess I should say that Connor is really, really interested in his sister and Bailey is very much possesive of Connor. When I picked them up yesterday, I got Connor first. I didn't want for her to be around the other babies, touching and spreading germs. She is impossible to contain, so I got him first. I then brought him over to her room to pick her up. All the kids swarmed his carseat, which I had sitting on the table. I told the kids that it was fine to look, but not to touch. Bailey policed the situation quite impressively. Every time one of the other kids tried to touch the car seat, Bailey would say "No, that's my baby". LOL - she calls him "Connor Buddy" most of the time. Yesterday, when we were driving home, she started naming who we all were. She said "Mommy is a woman. Momma is a woman. That is a man (a stranger on the street). Pitter is a kitty. Connor is a buddy." SERIOUSLY cute!!!! I laughed and laughed. Then, Connor started to cry...cause he hates the car seat - and she tried to reach over to him saying "It's okay, little Connor Buddy, it's okay. Look, see, we're almost home. Do you remember, Connor Buddy, we're almost home?" She's such a good big sister! I can only imagine them in 6 months, when he is moving and trying to start to talk. God, it's going to be funny.
Mommy
Kelly is doing well with the transition back to work. As well as can be expected of a breast feeding mother who is only 13 weeks post partum. She's struggling with the separation. She talks about the physical cravings she has for Connor, and you can hear the sadness in her voice. I think she is trying to be gentle about it, because the difference between my reaction to returning to work (sheer joy) and her reaction is very different. Kelly really does try to be gentle about the fact that she did not suffer post partum depression. It's a very raw spot for me, so she treads lightly. With that said, her struggle is just different than mine. While she would never choose to be a stay at home mom, I think she would probably choose to take a year off to be with Connor if that were an option. Maybe a little less - maybe only the time that she is breast feeding.
The breast feeding is going well. She is incredibly proud of her ability to do this and make it work. Especially because it was so, so difficult at the beginning. And because I have not been the most supportive partner through the process. I am guilty of being incredibly selfish about it and not wanting her to feed him that way. It's been hard for me to seperate my feelings of guilt (for not being able to breast feed Bailey) and frustration (for having my wife's body belong to someone else) and jealousy (because she can and I couldn't and because Connor is attaching to her more quickly), with my very real understanding that this IS for the best. This is what is best for Connor. So not only has she had me and this relatively toxic environment, but she has also been dealing with a yeast infestation that took hold at 3 weeks and is still a factor. She's managed to continue breast feeding and has a thriving child to show for it. This is a very real reason to be proud...and she is. Connor loves her breasts!!! He gets all cranky when he goes without them and will not be satisfied with a bottle if she is anywhere near him. If he can smell her or hear her voice, it must be the boob or nothing!
Kelly is experiencing something with Connor that she didn't experience with Bailey. She loved Bailey from the start, deeply and truly. That is the same. What is different is that her confidence in her ability to parent Connor is so strong. She is bonded to him in a way that goes beyond the normal love that you feel for your child. The biological connection has been very real, along with the 2 years of practice that she got with Bailey. She is very, very much in love with him. She feels what I felt for Bailey, once I was able to move through my post partum depression. There is something to the biology of mothering. I would have denied it before Connor was born...until I felt the difference. Loving Connor for me has been an act of falling in love with him, of learning him, of becoming his parent through the daily tasks of parenting. Bailey was an instant, immediate connection. I knew her in my soul, in my bones, in my heart long before I could have articulated it. It's strange, because I could never compare the two - it's just different. Neither is better, and I would die for either of my children - but there is a difference. A big one. And Kelly is experiencing it from the other side. It is a joy to watch her love like this.
Momma
All told, I am well. The initial shock of having a new child in the house has worn off. Connor just belongs with us and that is that. I'm over the fit-throwing desire to yank my wife back to me. I'm through the worst of the exhaustion. I'm doing okay.
With that said, I crave a bit more normalcy. We are developing a routine and that feels good. The more developed it becomes, the happier I will be.
I am desperately missing my wife. Kelly and I are still seperated by a lot right now and while we have found very brief moments where we have the time and energy to cross the invisible line that seperates us, those moments are rare. We are both missing each other, but even the act of "missing" takes time and energy we don't have. I just have to keep holding on through this and believe it will get better. This part sucks for me, and honestly, it make the rest of it a bit less enjoyable. I hate the distance, which might be why I dislike early infancy so much.
All in all, though, I can't complain. We are doing okay and it's only getting better.
There is more, but I've been writing for an hour and I don't have time to keep writing. I'll be back tomorrow!
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