Mikki -
It's almost that time again, my dear. That time when the world stops moving as you know it, time warps into this weird place where it drips by during the night and moves at light speed during the day. You and Kelly are preparing to re-enter the fourth trimester...the most difficult of them all. So from your sane, not-so-sleep deprived brain, I have a few reminders for you.
1) Having a new baby is hard. Really, it's nothing but hard. Remember that.
2) Sleep deprevation is the oldest and greatest form of torture and you don't respond very well to it. Expect that this period of time is going to suck.
3) Remember that Bailey doesn't get this. She didn't ask to have a new baby brother and will be just as shocked by it all as you will. Be gentle when she stops sleeping.
4) Kelly is not the enemy and just because she is there does not justify taking out your frustration on her. She is your partner in this.
5) This time will be different. You don't know this child yet. Give yourself time to learn to love him.
6) Post partum depression will effect you again. Not quite sure how it will manifest, but be aware that you will likely not escape it again.
7) You are not super-woman. This time around, actually try to act like you're human. Pass the baby off when you need a break. Take a nap when it is offered. Stop trying to be everything to everyone.
8) Forgive yourself daily.
9) Call your mother often.
10) When you have the chance to hug Kelly without a child in your arms, do it. You've missed her. Show her that.
11) Fuck the little things like dishes and grocery shopping and healthy meals. Fuck vacuming. Fuck it all. Just get through this period of time.
12) Enjoy the moments when it is all perfect.
13) Celebrate the little victories.
14) Remember that what feels like a deep, dark hole is just exhaustion.
15) When you need to, put on your Ipod and rock out.
Finally, Mikki, remember that the world will start rotating again. It will. Time will become normal once more and you'll look back on the exhaustion and forget what it felt like. "Normal" will have a new meaning and now matter how lost you and Kelly get, you will find each other again.
It will all be different, but not bad. Just different. Go with it. Breathe. Relax a bit. Try to enjoy it and don't beat yourself up if you can't. No matter how awful you feel and how much of a failure you think you are, you are not. If you need proof, just look at Bailey.
And if all else fails, hang on by your fingernails and know that eventually, this will feel comfortable again at some point.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I'm so excited for you guys,a new little joy! I have to say, though, I personally found everything easier this time around, especially the sleep deprevation, I think because I knew more what to expect. No one can explain how tough it is, but at least you've lived it once now, so it won't be quite as much of a shock. And, as you well know, the rewards far outweight the challanges ;)
Post a Comment