There isn't much new to report. Connor had his first meal of carrots and rice on Monday night. He had a meal of carrots last night. We will start him on bananas this weekend and begin to establish a morning/night feeding ritual. I'm sure it will quickly snowball into full on feeding all the time. He loved it both times, eating all that we offered. We're taking it slow in order to minimize any transition issues that he may have moving from breast milk to food. We tried just cereal, mixed with breast milk and he didn't like that. Kelly's sister suggested using formula to mix the cereal. We may try that. Simply put, Connor loves eating. He thinks it funny, giggling and enjoying himself immensely every time we put food near him. It's such a joy to finally be able to take an active part in the ritual of feeding my son. It's something I have missed hugely and I am happy that he is now ready to eat in a way that facilitates my participation.
With that said, he's still getting up once a night to eat - the last couple of days it has been in the wee morning hours (2 on Monday night, 3 last night). The food just isn't sticking long enough and he obviously wakes up hungry. We decided last night that for now, we will have a four-hour rule. What that means is that if he wakes up fussing within 4 hours of his last feeding, we will let him cry for 7 minutes before we respond. If he wakes up fussing and it's been longer than 4 hours, we will respond immediately. This is our first attempts at letting the little man of the house figure out how to put himself back to sleep. Of course, as time goes on (and time in baby terms is really usually only weeks and sometimes days) we'll reevaluate and change it up as needed.
Can you tell that Kelly and I are driven by schedules, goals and structure? In order to have a manageable night time response, we have to figure out a way to handle it that has measurable goals and certain outcomes. We can lay there and listen to him cry if we have set a goal and have a limit (in this case, four hours and 7 minutes of crying). But if we don't have limites like that, we end up laying there listening to him cry and getting more and more irriated. Then we fight. We have learned a lot since Bailey was this age.
For the record - we used the cry it out method with Bailey to great success and will use it again with Connor. We have been really good about not setting Connor's limits around what they were with Bailey. The two children are completely different and respond differently. Where Bailey was driven to always reach the next milestone, Connor seems much happier just drifting along. He seems to reach each new place as if by accident and is then delighted when he discovers he can do something new. He takes such joy in the world. So, for him, this schedule will be our guide for now and we'll change it up when he's ready.
Bailey seems to be pushing every limit there is. She has begun the process of doing something that she knows she cannot do and then looking at us to see if she got caught. Last night, she hit Pitter with a pillow. This has been a reccuring theme. Partly, it is because Pitter is the only one of our three cats who comes around her. The other two flee. But Pitter puts herself, literally, under your feet and demands attention. This annoys us all. But it seems to really grate on Bailey. So she has started to get a bit aggressive with her, and we have responded by becoming increasingly insistent that she not be aggressive. So on Monday night, she clocked Pitter with a puzzle piece. The resulting time out caused a massive meltdown that led to her eventually being taken upstairs, given her bath and put to bed without any further playing. So then last night, she pulls a pillow off the couch and clocks Pitter with it, and then looks up at me smiling. Of course, I responded by immediately putting her in timeout. She started the process of falling out and I went back on my general approach and reminded her that if she melted down, she would go to bed without any further playing. This seemed to help remind her of the consequences and after 4 false starts, she finally served her timeout appropriately.
This all just serves to remind Kelly and I that we have a hell of a little girl. She is intense and determined. I can think of many times in her life when these qualities will be huge assets and I am so glad they are present. It also means that we have to be just as strong. Unfortunately, the boundries that we must set up for her have to be rigid. She doesn't understand fluidity and flexibility only gives her enough rope to hang herself. She operates best in a structured environment that forces her to focus and stay focused. Of course, she gets tons of free time and free play - that's not what I'm talking about. It's about the rules and requirements for her behavior. If there is ever a crack in the rules, she exploits it immediately. And then she gets very upset about being punished. In fairness to her, we must keep the rules 100% consistent and the punishment swift and fair and expected. She knows she will get a timeout if she hits. Period. And even when it's inconvenient (like when I have dinner cooking), we have to make it work.
That's all for now. Not much else going on....
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