Catch Up Time

I'm sorry that I haven't been blogging. It seems that the harder things get, the more I withdraw. Things these days are not so hard emotionally, but more the grind is exhausting. And so I don't write. Sorry about that.

I have been super-busy at work. We had a major meeting taking place this week (and through the weekend) that I was solely responsible for coordinating. There were a million moving parts and it threw me back into my JSA days of event organizing. I don't do much of that anymore - I'm more of a report/data/website girl. This is good experience for me and it gave me a ton of face time in front of some very important people in the firm. Good for career development. Good for professional development. Not so good for my personal sanity. I'm not a huge fan of event management. I mean, I do it...and I do it very well. The key to event management is organization, calm and resourcefullness. I have all of those things when I choose to. But it's not what I enjoy. I just hate the constant changing up, adapting, recreating and the hurry up and wait. It's been stressful for me.

And then, to top it all off, I had to attend a dinner on Wednesday night at 7:30 PM. In the city. Now. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy a good dinner in a nice restaraunt as much as the next person. Especially when I don't have to pay for it. But on a Wednesday night? While my wife is home alone with the babies, trying to hold it all together? Not so much. It sucked. I hated being away from my kids. I hated feeling like I off-loaded my responsibility onto Kelly. I hated feeling like I was required to attend this networking celebration event, when honestly, I just wanted to be at home. This is not my thing. I did it. And again, I did all the right things. But it sucked. It was hard on all four of us. And once again proved to me that our routine is actually a good thing. It's something we all rely on to keep the insanity of our life in check.

The other major event that happened this week was that I witness Bailey being man handled by her daycare provider. I showed up early on Monday and watched her teacher grab her by the arm and pull her very hard. It left a thumb print on her upper arm and she stumbled to the floor. This was unprovoked - in that Bailey was just standing there when she did it. I went into the bathroom when I saw this (the teacher didn't know I was there, as her back was to me) and I said "Don't ever touch my child that way again." I did not say anything after that, as I was in the bathroom with other children. I enforced the timeout that the teacher had given Bailey prior to the yanking incident and then I marched into the director's office. I cried, which sucked...but I couldn't help it. I reported the incident and it was handled properly. After gauging Bailey's reaction, the director's reaction and subsequent follow up and recieving a very heart felt apology (and ownership) from the teacher, we have moved on. I do think this was a one-off event and not a continueing problem. Bailey likes the teacher - she says so. She is not scared of her. She doesn't have a negative response to her. And she has before, to other teachers. If she was having a major issue with the teacher, we would be able to tell. I have put this in the category of things that I wish I hadn't seen, but am glad I was able to deal with appropriately. It seems that when it comes to our children, I am able to keep my cool and do what's right. That makes me glad.

With all that said, if anything like this ever happens again, I will hunt the bitch down and destroy her. Happily.

Other than this, Bailey is doing extremely well. She is in love with her new school, finally. The transition is complete and has been for a couple of weeks. She is back to good and that makes us so happy!!! We both feel like the shaky ground that she was standing on has solidified. She's fully adjusted to Connor and she's no longer having weirdness. Thank god. It's a sign of some normalcy.

Connor is amazing. He's growing so quickly. We have to get some video of his huge belly laughs. He's showing some signs of being a drama queen, similar to his sister. He gets very angry when he is left alone...unless of course, he's watching TV. The kid LOVES the television. Of course, we do everything in our power to prevent him from watching it when Bailey does. He makes dinner with me rather than watching Barney with Bailey. But if he catches sight of it, hs'e hooked. If he's hungry, his world falls apart. And if he's tired, watch out! He decides at some point between 7 and 7;30 at night that he is ready for his bedtime routine (naked time, bath time, breastfeeding time, then bed). It all takes about 45 minutes, with the majority of that time being breastfeeding time. And if it doesn't happen as soon as he decides he's ready, there are big huge problems. This is really the only time that Connor cries like he is being tortured. It unravels Kelly and is very loud...so we often comply immediately.

He's waking up once a night. Depending on how he ate during the day, that one time can be around midnight or around 4 AM. It just depends. Sometimes he'll sleep straight through. Other times he wakes up. He's 4 months, so we don't worry yet. We suspect that when he starts eating solids, he'll start sleeping longer.

He too is being inocculated into the McFadden need for schedule. It seems that we are going to infect our children with our same need for order and routine. Of course, it could be no other way, but it's funny to watch it happen this time around.

Me and Kelly are both hanging in there. We're tired, strung out, overwhelmed and bored. But we're doing okay. We both have all our hopes hung on the concept that this will change as they get a bit older. That we're in the weeds right now, but eventually it will be different. It took a year for things to get back to a "normal" place with Bailey. We've still got a long way to go.