Slammed

LOL - when I was in college, that might have meant a whole host of things.

These days, it's all about time.

I'm slammed constantly and there is just not enough time. Never enough time. Yesterday was particularly horrid. I was up "late" at 5 AM, showered and out the door by 5:45. At work by 6:45. In meetings and racing to beat the clock until I left a meeting early to get out of work 15 minutes late at 3:45. Finally got off the bus and picked up Bailey at 5 PM. Got home at 5:30. Dinner, Connor, Kelly, Bailey, dinner, dishes, prep, "quality time", and both kids were in horrible moods. Bailey threw tantrum after tantrum, leading to increasingly frustrated timeouts by both Kelly and I. Finally, I gave in after she refused to eat dinner and just brought her upstairs to give her a bath at 6:30. By 7:15, she was in bed. But not sleeping. I walked out of her room to hear Connor screaming at Kelly downstairs. Went down and took Connor, so that I could at least say that I held him that day and to give her a break. He screamed for a solid two hours before he finally fell asleep. We all took turns holding him, Kelly trying to feed him. Walking, shushing, cuddling, walking, shushing, cuddling.

Finally, at 9:30, we collapsed into bed and fell asleep.

Good times.

Tomorrow is my birthday and my adoption day. Both seem very significant, and yet I can't seem to draw any energy from them. I'm excited about the adoption. It is the legal stamp that means that nobody can ever deny my rights and responsibilities as his parent. I guess because I live in a relatively safe community and have never had my rights challenged, I don't feel like this is anything more than a rubber stamp. But an important one, for sure.

As for my birthday - well. I'm not sure how I feel. I guess I feel like I'm entering my 30s at a strange time. It's hard to feel excited about anything when you're exhuausted, I guess. Maybe I'll feel more celebratory tomorrow.

After the adoption we're going to the aquarium. I don't know about plans other than that.