The Birth Story Final Chapter

Pushing began at around 4:45 PM. I held one leg, while Kelly's Mom held the other. The first few pushes, my coaching was assisted by the nurse, but after that I got my groove and I counted for Kelly. Kelly pushed 3 times with a count to 10 each push per contractions. They were coming ever minute or so. The pressure was unbelievable for her. Every time another would come, she would grab her knees, pull back and push. I would pull one leg back, Sherry would pull the other, I would support her neck as she pushed it into her chest and start the count. She would breath once in between pushes and come right back into it.

Meanwhile, Cathy (our fantastic nurse) was opening and stretching Kelly. She was massaging her open, pushing her fingers down and giving Kelly a place to push toward. She would urge Kelly to push harder and when Kelly did, she would tell her so that Kelly would know how hard to be pushing. At one point, she opened up a container of mineral oil and began pouring it inside Kelly. She used this to keep stretching her further and further.

I do not remember many details of this because my entire focus was on Kelly. I glanced down a couple of times to see what the nurse was doing, and I remember lots of blood. I also remember thinking that they were really, really working her. But for the most part, I was focused entirely on Kelly. Breathing with her, watching her face to anticipate her contractions, making sure that she was resting between contractions, lightly touching her to relax her when I could. My voice was her guide and I wasn't so much worried about her vagina or the baby being born from it. I was focused entirely on my wife and the work she was doing.

Time passed strangely through this period. The doctor came in a couple of times and switched places with the nurse. She was feeling for Kelly's progress. After an hour, the intensity picked up. Connor wasn't really coming down as he should be, even though Kelly was pushing perfectly and with the right intensity. Dr. Riley gave us another half hour and the work continued.

When she came back, Kelly had made some very good progress. The capet (the pushed up skin from his skull) was crowning and you could see the hair on his head every time she pushed. When she was done pushing, you could still see it, but it receeded it a bit. Dr. Riley was impressed enough by the progress and encouraged by the fact that Connor was tolerating a long labor well, so she allowed us to continue pushing. We know now that she had already started the process of planning the c-section. But we'll get to that.

After another half hour of pushing, she came back. Connor was inching, very, very slowly down. We had reached the point where it was very unlikely that Connor was going to be born vaginally. There were a number of factors. The first is that Kelly, like her mother and sister, has a very narrow pelvis. Connor was, literally, stuck. The second factor was that Connor had is head slightly tilted, making the head bigger. The third was that Kelly was very, very tired at this point. We all were, but nobody more so than Kelly. She had been in latent labor for a week, active labor for 29 hours and pushing for 2. She had not slept in about 48 hours. She was absolutely exhausted.

The final straw was that Connor's heartrate began to fluxuate in dangerous ways. It didn't take long for Dr. Riley to tell us all of this and for us to agree that a c-section was the way to go. I stepped in and made this call, although Kelly agreed with me. Honestely, she was in too much pain to not agree.

They told her to stop pushing. The problem with not pushing when you have a baby, literally, stuck in your birth canal is that it hurts much, much worse to not push. Pushing relieves the pressure of the baby's head. Asking a woman in Kelly's situation to not push is very, very difficult. Kelly was literally coming up off the table at every contraction, and there was very little that we could do for her. I stood by her side, but she didn't want to be touched. She was out of her mind with pain.

The anestigiolosit was in the room within 5 minutes of making the call for a c-section. Kelly already had the epidural (it was rendered mostly ineffective at this point, but it was still in place) so all he had to do was get the medication ramped up and get her numb for the surgery. He started the injection and everything got very clinical. The nurses began to prepare. Sherry was asked to leave, as she would not be in the operating room with us. I was pushed to the side and told that I would be given instructions when they had Kelly prepared. The medication began to take some effect and they wheeled her away. Our room was right next door to the OR, so within minutes, she was wheeled in and I was left to wait.

I was given scrubs and told to put them on and stand by the door to wait. They needed to prep her and then they would come and get me. I got dressed very quickly and tried not to panick. God, it was so hard to have her wheeled away from me. So fucking hard.

It seemed like it took forever, although, I know that it didn't. They entered the OR at 7:03 PM.

After what felt like an eternity, I saw another doctor getting ready. She introduced herself as the pediatrician who would catch and care for Connor. I was so worried that I could barely acknowledge her. She didn't seem to mind. Finally, they told me it was time to come in.

If you've never been in a c-section room before, you won't understand when I say that it looked like my wife was this tiny speck in the middle of medical gear and people. I walked in and saw her laying there, all hooked up and surrounded by blue, steril paper and doctors and my first thought was that this was the woman who moments ago was blowing my mind as she worked to push our child from her body. Now, both of their lives were in the hands of the medical team. I have never felt so helpless in my life.

I reached her side and the surgery began. I stayed close to her, but we didn't talk much. She said she was a bit nauseated, but didn't say much more.

The tone in the room changed and I looked up just in time to see Connor born at 7:20 PM. He was pulled with his face toward me. I remember thinking that he looked very, very blue. He was very limp and blue. And he didn't cry. I watched and he finally made a very weak cry as they began to suction him. They transferred him to the warmer in the corner as they began to put my wife back together.

Connor barely cried in the OR. The few cries that came from him were very wet and rattly. They were weak. They doctors were working very hard on him. I kept standing up to look and saw that they had oxegyn on him at one point. Finally we couldn't stand it. I called out, asking if he was okay. I got the stock answer that he was fine, but having a bit of trouble breathing. We continued to wait for more information. This part seemed to go on and on and on. Finally, I asked Dr. Riley directly - I said, "Dr. Riley, is everything okay? I mean, is he struggling in the usual way that a c-section baby struggles or are his problems bigger?" She told me that he seemed to be having normal issues and that the problems didn't sound bigger. Of course, what did she know? She was busy putting my wife together, not tending to Connor.

They finally brought him over to us to see. We were able to kiss him for about 30 seconds. I took 2 pictures. They told us that he was going to the nursey. I asked if I could come and they told me no. They also told me that I would need to leave the OR as well. Leaving the OR was standard.

They escorted me back to the recovery room. I took of my scrubs and sat there. I don't remember how long I sat there. I remember looking around this very bright room, being completely alone, and thinking that my entire life was being worked on by two teams of doctors. The room where they should have been tending to Connor had he been born vaginally, stood empty. The remains of hours of labor were still there- the cup with ice chips. My cold cup of coffee. A few tissues. The rest of the room was empty and quiet and I was terrified.

I did what I always do when I'm scared. I tidied. I cleaned. I waited. Eventually, I did everything I could do and I just sat in the chair and stared at the door, waiting for them to bring my wife back to me or for a doctor to come and tell me the status of Connor.

Finally, they brought Kelly in. She was very out of it, as I was after my c-section. She seemed shocked to see me there. She wanted to know why I wasn't with Connor. I told her that they wouldn't let me go to the nursery with him. I didn't know his weight or lenghth. We were just waiting.

We waited for a while before the doctor finally came in and told us what was going on. Connor had a lot of trouble breathing when he was born and they had to get his oxegyn back up. They had him under a hood. They were monitoring his heart rate, his temperture, his blood sugars. They told us that it would be a while before we could see him - they couldn't bring him back to us. She was able to tell us that he was 8 pounds, 1.5 ounces at birth. She had not had a chance to check his length yet. She indicated that I could come to the nursery whenever I wanted to see him. I, of course, went immediately.

Connor was beautiful when I saw him, although it was odd to see him under a hood. He was pink and rosy, though, and didn't look like he was having problems. He was just getting a bit of oxegyn. I was very reassured after seeing him and returned to Kelly to report.

By this time, they were getting ready to move us to the post-partum unit and out of recovery. After the move, we continued to wait. I went back and forth between our room and the nursery to see Connor. He was doing well, but they needed to see some specific signs before they released him to our room.

Finally, at around 1 AM - 6 hours after he was born, they brought him to us and Kelly was able to hold him and get to know him. Connor was fine - his earlier struggles had been completely resolved and there didn't seem to be any lasting issues.

Finally, we had our baby.