Birthing Class

I have a few minutes between projects and a lunch program, so I thought I would post some thoughts on our birthing class.


Before I do, though, I have to share one of the sweetest developments that Bailey has gone through. The other night, she put her Elmo to bed. I know that doesn't sound like much, but she did it up right! She held him, she stroked his head, she sung to him, she laid him down and kissed his head, she pulled the blankets up over him, she gave him his rag and then she laid down beside him and snuggled him some more. When he "woke up" a few minutes later, she held him gently and rocked him back and forth. Kelly nearly cried, although with those pregnancy hormones, I'm not surprised. I watched her and was very touched. It is incredibly gratifying to see your child display that kind of love and affections. It is obviously what she is learning, and those are lessons I'm proud we are teaching her.

So, birthing class.

First - we were not the only lesbian couple in the room. There were only 5 couples total and the other lesbian couple was sitting right in front of us. Now this couple was obviously in a new relationship, or at the very least, they were not having the baby together. The non-pregnant woman was completely disinterested in the entire process. I watched them with interest and found myself placing mental bets on how long the relationship would last once the baby comes. Having kids isn't for the faint of heart and it's certainly not for untested relationships. It's hard work to parent with someone and I imagine that it is even harder to have someone around who isn't parenting with you.

But I thought it was interesting that we were not alone.

Second - when the discussion rolled around to post partum, I had a response that was completely unexpected. Namely, I had to fight really hard not to sob the entire time. There was this very funny video talking about the reality of parenting and how much it can shake the very foundation of the relationship that you are in. There was a lot of discussion about hormones and how the reality of parenting for the first time is very hard for most women. In general, it was an open discussion about how fucking hard it can be when exhaustion collides with reality and you find yourself 6 weeks into having a child and hating it. I didn't expect to be so incredibly floored by what I was hearing, but it was like I was right back to those early months with Bailey. I felt the guilt, the overwhelming fear, the anger, the anxiety. It was strange. I just wanted to cry remembering how that felt for me. It was a bit of an eye opener and something that made me realize that I need to be very careful with myself and with Kelly when Connor is born. Who knows how this time will feel, but I had forgotten how it CAN feel. I need to not forget, so that I don't miss the signs if me or Kelly begins to fall beyond normal.

Other than that, we walked away from the class excited and ready for Connor to be born. I think that we are more excited now than we've been since the beginning. I think that Kelly would probably say that we are inching towards the end, but I feel like we are sprinting to the finish line and I can't wait!