Bring It On!

2009, that is. In my own grand tradition of visiting the dark corners of my life and shining bright, white light on those corners, I have spent the last couple of weeks thinking about what I hope to accomplish in the next year. Here are a few of the ones that I'm willing to share:

1) Partner my wife through her first birth experience.

2) Experience the birth with wide open eyes and fewer expectations than I did with Bailey's birth.

3) Meet my son.

4) Reconcile the competing demands of a newborn child and a toddler in whatever ways that I can.

5) Forgive myself when I fail to be the perfect parent.

6) Stop trying to be a perfect parent.

7) Forgive myself when I fail to stop trying to be a perfect parent.

8) Breathe a bit more.

9) Read better books and less brain candy novels.

10) Drink less Starbucks.

11) Forgive myself when I still indulge in Starbucks nearly every day.

12) Call my friends more.

13) Love myself more.

14) Figure out what the fuck is stopping me from actually losing weight.

15) Stop swearing so fucking much.

16) Try hard not to laugh when Bailey is sassy and acts just like me.

17) Live passionately every day of the year.

18) Spend some period of time in Maine.

19) Deconstruct my fantasy about life and rebuild my hopes and dreams around the reality.

20) Continue to dream about the fantasy.

21) Wash my dishes every night so that when I wake up at 4 AM to relax a bit before the kids and the wife wake up, I'm not stressing about the dishes.

22) Cook more with the stove and less with the microwave.

23) Forgive myself when I cook with the microwave and try not to worry so fucking much about every little decision I make in parenting that has more to do with convenience than perfect parenting.

24) Enjoy the 6-8 weeks I will have off work with Connor.

25) Find a therapist for me and for us.

26) Go to therapy and actually work it, rather than just going.

27) Find time to spend with my wife, no matter what the cost.

28) Leave the kids with sitters a couple of times for wildly extravagent nights of fun that remind me of life before kids.

29) Breathe again. Relax more.

30) Not put 1600 hundred lights on the Christmas tree next year (because, as my mom will tell you, they are a bitch to take off).