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Kelly's Two Cents (worth $1)
It’s been a while since I posted on the blog, but the changes that have occurred over the last three months necessitate a posting.
A few weeks ago, while passing time on my commuter bus, I scribbled a few comments on the back of my to-do list. As it ended up, I wrote a Top 10 list of things I have learned since Bailey was born (in no specific order):
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1) A baby with a mouth full of drool will shoot it across the room when sneezing.
2) “Naked girl” time is grrrrrreat!
3) Saying and doing are two incredibly different things.
4) Embrace change (otherwise it will eat you alive).
5) Always leave ½ hour early to be on time.
6) Invest in baby products and methods that offer back support and comfort (buy a good baby carrier).
7) A 10+ pound baby does not offer a body time to adjust to packing around a baby all day (Maverick, you’ll agree with this one).
8) Constipation takes on a whole new meaning.
9) Never prepay for services you might not use (if you expect a refund).
10) Not all nurses and doctors are evil “anti-experience” creatures. There are of course the obvious changes: the feeling of selflessness, sleepless nights, and many, many others. But what is most on my mind are the nonconspicuous items. Let’s take a look at number 3.
You know how people always talking about finding support where they least expect it when they need it most. If this like the expression, “The glass is half full,” then what about the half that is empty? Does this mean that no support was offered from those who you most expected it from? Let me just say that we fall into both of those categories. We have received support where we least expected it, but we have also received little or nothing from sources where we expected it.
Is it wrong to say “expect”? That brings me to number 4 above. Again, there are the obvious changes that relate to Bailey, but I’m talking about the adults. Mikki and I have had to put on our big girl panties and accept the reality that people and circumstances change. Whether we like that change or not is not ours for deciding. We simply have to accept. How this ties to Bailey though is that it affects the relationship people have with her. We are working through some very serious emotional shit to try to be okay with this. Ahh…maybe I’m rambling and no one gives a damn.
But at the end of the day, we go to sleep knowing that we are able to kiss and hug our perfectly healthy daughter that we love dearly anytime we want. That is all that matters. ~Kelly
3 comments:
I'm sorry to hear that people have let you down. I started reading your blog before Bailey was born because my partner and I would like to start our own family within the next fews years. Your blog is one of my favorites not only becuase Bailey is so adorable, but because it is such an honest account of the changes you have gone through while becoming parents. Thank you for having the courage enough to be authentic, even when it isn't always pretty. I hope that your weekend is relaxing!
-Kate
I hear ya sweetie. Everyone always says having a child changes everything, but it really seemed to me that no matter how prepared I was and wanting I was of that change, the biggest changes were never where I expected them. I never expected to have a physical reaction to my child crying, I never expected to suddenly "need" to completely change who I hung out with and wanted my child around.
I can also SOOOOOOO relate to #7. Bliss was 10lb 1oz at birth and 29 pounds at 9 months old. It is like giving birth to a 6 month old and makes it so hard on the back, feet, etc. My arches started collapsing when he was just under a year and I ended up crippled for about 4 months, had orthotics made to my foot, still the pain, finally I bought all birkenstock shoes and got relief. I wanted to make all my friends carry around a 10lb bag of flour all day for one day just so they would "get it."
It is also so true that the hormones swirling through your body after giving birth is huge, and I believe the hormones of any partner, male or female but especially female, are vastly affected during that time as well.
I am sorry for both of your struggles right now, just know I am sending lots of love to all of you.
I do understand about the 10 pound baby part....although both Bailey and baby boy were almost 11 pounds. I love being a mama. It's a challenge, but it's really the best thing I've ever done. My son just had a 45 minute temper over his nap time...that we missed because of some other things....then he decided that he did not want to sleep in a different place...no matter how tired he was.....He is showing a determination that rivals my own.
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