Lovin' Bailey

These days, it's really easy to be Momma. Bailey and I have a schedule, she knows how to get her message across and I know how to interpret it. We've slept great the past two nights. She had another five hour stretch last night and then up to eat and back down for three. We get up early together, she eats and usually sleeps for another couple of hours. Then we are awake together.

I'm not sure if it's me or her, or a combination of both, but this has gotten so much easier. I'm just enjoying it so much more.

This afternoon, after her next bottle, we are headed to the mall. I'm going to get a magazine and a cup of coffee. If Bailey will let me sit for a while, I'll read the magazine there. If not, I'll walk with her and just enjoy being around people.

Phew...I am so glad to be out of the woods of those first few weeks. I feel like a whole new woman!!!

Here is a picture of our little love today. Check out her curls!!! This was taken right after her bath. And, yes, that is a PINK outfit she has on! We even bought it for her...

A Bit of An Explanation

For those of you who read regularly, you've probably been a bit confused by my constant talk of how bored I am and how frustrating these first few weeks have been for me. Lord knows, I spent the last nine months talking about how I couldn't wait for all of this to happen. It must seem strange that now that it has, I'm not enjoying it.

I feel like I need to explain. All human beings are multifaceted, and I am no exception. There is the part of me that is so in love with this time in my life. That blissful mother who loves to be so needed and who enjoys the tasks that come with caring for our daughter. There is also the other sides, too.

One of the parts of my personality that has plagued me since I was a kid was the side of me that needs to feel intense energy occasionally. Unless you're one of those people, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about. You've probably never craved, and probably couldn't understand, the level of intensity that I'm talking about. And that's fine. But, it's a reality that part of who I am includes this need for intensity.

When I was a teenager, this translated into some serious self-destructive behavior. When I was in college, one of my best friends was the fix. Whenever I'd get in one of my moods, I'd call Jose. She and I would go out to the lesbian bar in town. This was such a trashy little dive, and the DJ wasn't great, but would play Top 40 stuff and even some of the golden oldies (think Push It by Salt 'n' Pepper!). The women who frequented this place were by and large 30+, flannel wearing, mullet haired couples looking to escape their normal lives. LOL - it was trashy. BUT...the music was so freakin' loud, you couldn't hear yourself think. The beer was seriously cheap. There was a $2 cover (who can't handle that???). And it was women - no men allowed. We would go and get shitty drunk - start the night off with lemon drop shots and then move to beer once you've reached your peak drunk. Then, Joce would grab my hand and we would dance out onto the dance floor, muscling our way into the dead center. And we would dance. All night long. The music would pulse through my feet, the smell of beer and smoke and girls was intoxicating. We would dance for hours, stopping only for more beer and the occasional bathroom break. When the bar closed, and they threw us out, we would stumble home (yep, it was stumbling distance) and pass out together. Now, don't misunderstand. Joce and I were never together, have never been lovers and wouldn't want to be. She's bi, with an emphasis on boys. But she got me. She got that need for intensity - for loud music that blew my brain to shit, and for hours of dancing that left my legs feeling like jelly and my body aching for days after. She got that, and for years, that's how I got my need for intense energy taken care of.

Well, life changes. Joce is out west and I am here. I'm a mother and a wife now, and clubbing just isn't going to happen. Even if Kelly indulged me and took me out dancing, it wouldn't be the same. I'm not a college student anymore. I can't get shitty drunk and stumble home.

Unfortunately, the need hasn't changed, but the circumstances have. I'll get it figured out. I'll find my outlet - the one that fits into my life now. I'll figure out how to meet my needs and still remain safely within the framework of the life I have worked so hard to create. The boredom comes from not having found that yet, but we're getting there. It's getting easier and easier.

I'm not one bit unhappy with my life. I am living the dream that I dreamed for years and years. How could I be unhappy? I am merely trying to put the pieces together in a way that works. So far, I'm not doing too badly.

101 Things To Do

Today is jam packed, and it hasn't even really started yet! Bailey slept for a five hour stretch for the first time last night. I don't suspect that it will continue to happen, but it was really nice this one time. She was up at 1 to eat, then back down until 3:30. I fed her again at 4 AM and then she went back down. I slept for another hour or so, but then woke up to see Kelly off to work.

We were out for a lot of the day yesterday, so none of the picking up got done. Today, I'm going to spend lots of time puttering around the house. It's gonna be a "wear-Bailey" day, because she's already showing some serious signs of clingyness. Not that I mind.

We are settling in. I'm learning her and can now almost always predict what the cries mean. I know how to calm her, how to comfort her, how to entertain her, when she wants to eat, when she needs to be held and when she needs to be left alone. It makes it easier.

She's enraptured by Kelly. Perhaps its because Kelly is gone all day - but Bailey gets so excited to look at her face. She tracks Kelly around the room with her eyes. It makes my heart melt to watch the two of them gaze adoringly at each other. I'm not sure which one adore the other more...LOL! The evenings are really nice because Bailey gets to spend some time with her Mommy, Mommy gets her Bailey fix and I get my time away from baby-duty. The only struggle is squeezing in time for us to just be a couple.

But even that definition has begun to adapt. Last night, Kelly fed me pudding because I was feeding Bailey. It was, perhaps, one of the sweetest, most intimate moments we've had in a long time. It was fun. Silly. Sweet. Simple, much needed "couple-time".

So, we're all getting there. It's taken us four weeks, but we've found our groove. The days are easier, the nights are easier and our rhythm is back. Phew!

Pictures

This was right before we left for the hospital!

This is me now - about 35 pounds lighter!

Our Little Honey (Thanks M&S for the great gift!)

Playing with her mirror
This is EXACTLY how her Mommy sleeps at night...LOL

Baby Danny!

Congratulations, M&S on the birth of your little baby boy!!! Kelly and I are so excited, and are so looking forward to playdates and camping trips for years to come!!! Looking forward to the birth story, but take this time to rest and enjoy the first days! We'll see you tonight!

In other news, Bailey seems to have turned a small corner. She's sleeping pretty regularly at night - waking every three to four hours for a feeding (which is around twice a night). The extended hours of sleep have allowed both Kelly and I to actually get some rest that is restorative, as opposed to just surviving.

Also, Bailey can now be "entertained". She gets all excited looking at herself in her Sassy mirror and her playmat will actually hold her attention for about five minutes. Of course, our faces are her favorite, and she's begun tracking us when we walk away. Last night, she fixated on Kelly and nearly broke her neck trying to keep her in her line of sight when Kelly walked away. Very sweet!

She's also beginning to show preferences. For instance, she doesn't much like to be on her back. She's a side or a belly sleeper and is fast learning how to get herself into those positions. She rolls to her side every night, and this morning actually made it into her tummy. She doesn't much like to fall asleep, though, and often fights it with everything she's got. She has figured out how to fling her pacifier from her mouth using her fingers and when she's just about asleep, she will do this. Of course, losing the pacifier is enough to cause a meltdown. It's a vicious cycle.

Another thing is that she doesn't like to be held all that often. Sometimes she'll fall asleep in my arms, but more often than not, she wants to be left alone. The key here is that it has to be while she is already asleep, or very, very close to it. If she's even partially awake and you walk away from her, she gets very, very upset.

LOL - she's our doll. I truly love her with every fiber of my being, and I am so relieved that she is beginning to show some signs of coming out of these first difficult weeks. When the hard stuff is balanced out with the good, it's so much easier to take.

I'm still extremely bored, and my brain feels like a bad jello mold, but I'm adapting. Wine helps, but I've been trying to be careful with that. There is lots of alcoholism in my family and I don't want to deal with my frustration with alcohol. I'm just not a great infant-Momma. Well, let me rephrase that - I think I do a great job taking care of Bailey and being her Momma...but I am bored by it. Some people are just enraptured by small infants. Turns out, I'm not one of them. I adore her, and I live for those moments that are so precious they make my heart hurt...but I am really looking forward to more interaction.

Enough of that. Bailey has been bathed for the day. I'm waiting until she crashes out, then it's my turn. This afternoon we are driving into DC to visit M&S and see their new little boy. I'm not sure what is going to come in between. We'll see...

Killing Time

It's 6:40 in the morning. Kelly is off getting us bagels at Panera Bread (to kill a craving she's having for a French Toast bagel with Hazelnut cream cheese!). I'm up, ready to go downstairs and make a cup of coffee...but Bailey is still sound asleep. I'm torn between picking her up and risking waking her, and my coffee. So far, the coffee is losing...

Bailey is still struggling. Yesterday, she cried for over an hour before each feeding. We were trying to get her on a schedule to help her sleep better, but she's not handling it very well. We've decided to back off on the scheduling thing. Both because it's not working, and because it's very hard to listen to her cry for so long. It's difficult on the head and on the heart.

I think that we've pretty much decided to scrap all philosophies we've had up to this point and work with Bailey's needs. I cringe at that - I'm a woman of order. But, Bailey seems to not work well within the framework of order and schedules. Maybe that's because she's young. Maybe it's her personality. Maybe it's just because. But, we need to be able to parent her, and that means flexibility. I'm much more able to adapt to her needs than she is to mine.

Last night, she slept great. She was in our bed, not in her cosleeper. She slept for three and a half hours, woke up and ate 4 ounces, then crashed back out for another four hours. She woke back up, ate 5 ounces and is sleeping again.

The proof is in the pudding, as they say.

Bored

It's interesting - I haven't been bored in years! I mean, really bored. Caring for an infant is very time consuming and requires lots of tasks...but it doesn't challenge my brain to think. It's not hard to change diapers or warm bottles. These tasks, while the necessary acts of love and care for our daughter, are simple and easy to do.

My brain has been left idle...never a good thing. I'm too tired to read much and TV is just more stupid for my brain.

I've created a MySpace page. This is in direct relationship to my boredom. Honestly, in all the years of being online, I've not gotten into these big online databases of people. I've dabbled a couple of times, but never really gotten into it.

But, now, I need to think about something other than parenting. While Bailey sleeps, I can search people. I can read interesting bits about other people's lives.

It's silly, I know. But right now, it provides my head with something other than parenting. Until I can get back to work and start using my brain again, this will have to do.

Dramatic Improvements

Yesterday, after my meltdown, Bailey and I ended up having a great day. After getting showered, I put her in our sling and wore her all day. She slept for approximately nine hours, waking only twice - once to eat and be changed and spend 20 minutes being naked, and the other to be changed.

I spent that time cleaning, listening to music, dancing around our bedroom, emailing friends and occasionally kissing Miss. Bailey's head. When Kelly got home, I went and picked up some Merlot and drank the entire bottle (except for the glass that Kelly had). Funny, it didn't make me drunk...just took the edge off. Kelly took care of Bailey. Then, last night, after feeding her two extra ounces of formula right before it was time to sleep, Bailey spent two and half hours sleeping in her co-sleeper (NOT ON ME!!!). When she woke up, it was time for her regular feeding. Five ounces later, she curled right back up into her co-sleeper for a another two hour stretch! When she woke up, I just pulled her over onto my chest and we both fell right back asleep for another two hours.

HOT DAMN! THIS I can deal with...LOL!

We woke up at five this morning. I brought her downstairs, where she fell back asleep after eating. I called my Mom and we talked for an hour and a half. I put Bailey in her swing, and she slept there for over an hour - giving Kelly and I time to eat breakfast and for Kelly to get showered. I woke her up to get her ready for the day - changed and in fresh clothes. Kelly is feeding her as I type this and I'm headed for the shower.

I know that this has been kind of long, but I just had to share how happy I am that there were serious improvements yesterday and today! I'm off for a couple of hours to see Pirates at 11 AM. I can't wait to sit in the dark theater and watch Captain Jack Sparrow take on the world! I can't wait to have popcorn and to be alone for just a couple of hours.

More importantly, I'm actually looking forward to coming back and spending the rest of the weekend with my wife and our child!

Happy Memorial Day weekend, everyone!!!

And Then

And then, she takes a bath, eats and spend some time cuddled up on my chest. She lets out this very satisfied, full baby burp and curls into my neck, wrapping her fingers in my hair. She falls asleep, her breathing even and deep. She sighs and groans quietly in her sleep, adjusting every now and then to get closer.

I find myself sitting there stroking her back, with my nose pressed into her baby soft hair, smelling the sweet lavender soap and the smell that is uniquely Bailey. My body relaxes, my headache begins to fade away (with the help of 4 Advil), and suddenly everything that seemed so wrong just a half hour ago is back into it's proper place.

This is so intense. More intense than falling in love. More intense than the skydiving I did when I was 20. More intense than moving to DC, alone, in 3 days. More intense than anything I've ever done, ever conceived of, ever even dreamed that I could be a part of.

Don't think too harshly of me. I'm learning. I'm trying. I'm easily frustrated, and overly exhausted. I keep telling myself that being annoyed with Bailey doesn't make me a bad Momma. That venting my frustration is not a bad thing, but rather the only thing that will help me get through it.

Problem is, like with everything in my life, I wanted to be perfect at this. I wanted to be a perfect mother. I wanted this to be the happiest time of my life. I wanted this role to be THE role that I had been waiting to play.

Turns out, again, that I'm human. And I'm just a woman. Struggling through, trying to figure out how to be a Momma to a little girl blessed with all my stubbornness and all my emotional need to be close to the people I love.

I'm glad it's a three day weekend. I'm glad that I'm going to take a couple of hours and go be alone and see Pirates of the Caribbean. I'm glad that my relationship with Kelly is so strong that we can put it on autopilot for a while and not worry about its health. I'm glad that I'm going to pick up a bottle of wine for tonight.

I'm glad that I've been in enough therapy in my life to know that I need to say this shit out loud, rather than let it eat me up inside.

I'm glad that I'm strong enough to admit that I'm not perfect and mature enough to learn how to adapt.

I'm blessed that my wife loves me in spite of all of this shit...and I suspect even loves me more because of it.

More than anything, I'm truly grateful that right now, in this moment, Bailey is sound asleep on our bed and I'm going to take a shower, shave my legs and listen to nothing but the sound of running water.

I Wonder

I wonder if anyone has ever admitted that they just don't like being the mother to an infant. I am so completely frustrated this morning. Bailey has slept like shit for the past two days. She cries if she's not in our arms and if there is not a pinky in her mouth. She won't take a pacifier. She won't sleep in any other location.

My body hurts. My head hurts. Every fiber of my being is just tired and truly sick of being the person that spends 24 hours a day with her.

I love our daughter, I do. I'm just so fucking exhausted and tired of trying to figure out which of her needs I'm not meeting at the current moment.

Right now, she's sobbing in her swinging chair. She's safe, she's strapped in. I had to walk away. She woke up screaming. In my ear. It was enough to make me start crying immediately. I changed her. She screamed. I walked, rocked, and gave her my pinky. Still, screaming. I talked, cooed and tried not to sob in her ear. Screaming, screaming, screaming.

So, I took the advice of everyone and just put her down. She's not hurt, but Momma needs five. I'm going to get her bath ready and then take one myself. Hopefully she'll be calm for that. Then, we're driving in to town to see Mommy for lunch. She'll sleep in the car, and I need to see my wife before I go fucking insane.

Kelly can always comfort me when nothing else can.

Super Cute Video

Lessons Learned

Over the past three weeks, I've learned a whole lot. I was giggling this morning looking at pictures of us in the hospital. We knew nothing!!!! Not that we know a whole lot more now, but the crash course that is early parenting has taught us something...

1) No matter when she last peed, Bailey will inevitably pee again as soon as her diaper is taken off.

2) There is nothing on TV at 3 AM in the morning except "Whose Wedding Is It Anyway"...and I'm not very interested in that show.

3) Sometimes, Bailey just doesn't want to be held.

4) There is no size standardization in infant clothes. It's weird.

5) EVERYBODY has an opinion about EVERYTHING. And everyone thinks that we want to hear it.

6) The biggest tragedy in Bailey's life is when her pacifier falls out of her mouth before she is fully asleep.

7) Or when she can't eat immediately.

8) Sex is just never going to happen again. How do second babies get made????

9) Being a human mattress isn't so bad.

10) Watching a child fall asleep is the most wonderful experience in the world.

11) Formula-fed babies do NOT always sleep better.

12) Formula-fed babies have HORRIBLY stinky poop.

13) Formula is really freakin' expensive.

14) Never say never. "I'll never..." doesn't work. You WILL when push comes to shove and you're exhausted...

15) Everyone will remember all the things you said you were never going to do...and laugh at you when you do them.

16) Don't waste your money on stimulating toys...all your baby really needs is a ceiling fan (the giant mobile in the sky) and an old striped tee shirt you haven't worn in years.

17) While Bailey's attention span is only about a minute, this doesn't apply to wanting to be held, wanting to be fed or needing to be changed. She can carry on about those things for HOURS.

18) When push comes to shove, I can type in lots of weird positions.

19) Holding Bailey for hours hurts.

20) Any song that mentions a child is reason to cry.

21) Crying while trying to drive is not safe.

22) I never realized that I would fall in love with Kelly over and over again every time I see her with our child.

23) Sometimes being Momma sucks.

24) Bailey can go from sound asleep in my arms to wide awake and pissed off in the time it takes for me to walk her to the bed to lay her down.

25) On those rare occasions when she does sleep independently, I have to fight myself not to pick her up.

26) The vacuum cleaner really does NOT wake up sleeping children. It's amazing.

27) Eating one-handed isn't all that difficult with a little practice.

28) The only good show on television during the day is Ellen...

29) Unfortunately, I know WAY TOO MUCH about Days of Our Lives.

30) And last but not least, pregnancy hormones become birth hormones...and now they seem to be shifting to parenting hormones. How in the hell can just looking at our daughter make me see her and imagine her first day of kindergarten, her high school graduation, her first date, her prom, her wedding...and how can all these things make me feel like it's all moving too fast???

Missing Mikki

Having a child is truly wonderful. Bailey is a joy - even when she's been screaming for hours and is absolutely miserable. I love being Momma. I love sharing this experience with my partner. Most importantly, I wouldn't trade it or change it for anything.

With that said, in the last couple of days, I've been missing Mikki. I'm Momma now...all the time. My identity is completely wrapped up in that of our daughter - I am not able to separate myself from her needs or extricate myself from her shadow.

I know that this is normal. Hell, it's even good. I know that parenting is about letting go of yourself in part and making way for the life of your child. But I'm grieving the loss of my freedom a bit. I have some of that restlessness that I used to get in college. That need for excitement and energy.

If I could, I would go out dancing. I'd love to just lose myself in loud music for a few minutes. I'd love to feel sexy, and dance with my wife. I'd love to drink just a little too much, and come home and sleep for 12 hours after. There is part of me aching for the freedom of being childless.

I'm sure this is normal. In fact, I'd feel weird if I wasn't feeling it. I mean, after all, there is always loss inside great gain. All aspects of human emotion exist, and they must coexist or we are not truly feeling the experience. I can both love this life that I'm living right now, and miss the one that I have given up in order to be where I am.

I know that this is the extreme time. We'll find a way to incorporate who we "used" to be into our new identities of Mommy and Momma. Right now, our child is very young and needs constant attention. Eventually, it won't be that extreme. Eventually, our bed will be ours again and not a family sleeping arrangement. Eventually, Bailey will be old enough to spend a couple of hours away from us and we'll do something that reminds me of who I was before I was Momma.

I'm not unhappy. I'm just acknowledging that within this incredible experience, there is some loss.

The First Outing

Yesterday, Bailey and I took a long trip into town! I was needing some adult interaction and boy, did I get it! We started at Kelly's office, where Bailey was swarmed by Kelly's coworkers. I felt bad, because Bailey needed to eat and be changed almost as soon as we got there. Plus, she was kind of fussy.

After about an hour and 10 minutes, Bailey and I headed over to my office. My coworkers had ordered lunch and we all hung out in a conference room for a couple of hours. Bailey was a dream! She slept for a long time, and then when we couldn't stand it anymore, she was passed around. She would squirm for a few minutes and then fall sound asleep in the arms of whoever was holding her!

I spent some time in my boss's office, feeding her again and changing her. I met with our benefits person and finalized the details of my leave. Then it was back to Kelly's office to meet her and head home!

All told, it was a great day...much needed. Bailey was overstimulated by the end of it, and slept like shit last night...but it was worth it. Momma needed a day out...

Three Weeks Old!

Our Bailey is three weeks old today!!!! It seems absolutely unreal that she is that old...and at the same time, I keep wondering how it could only have been three weeks ago that she was born. There was a life before Bailey????

I've thought about how I can best keep everyone informed of Bailey's progress, and I figured that just the same way that I did with the pregnancy, I'll do an update each week. I'll let you know what changes have occurred and of any cool developmental milestones. Hopefully this well help our families and friends stay up to date. It's so hard being so far away from everyone...

So...here goes:

Last week on Thursday, Bailey weighed 10 pounds, 12 ounces. I'm sure she has gained weight since then, but I don't know how much. She's bigger, though! We had switched to size two diapers, but have since gone back to size one. The size two were just too big on her, and we were worried about leakage.

Yesterday, during her first outing to DC, Bailey's cord finally fell off. We were starting to get worried! All of the the beautiful hair that Bailey was born with is still on her head...although it's starting to look a little thin in some spots. Her eyes are still a deep, deep blue...just like her Mommy. Her face is beginning to smooth out, and the scrunched up, newborn look is starting to disappear. Her lips get fuller by the day - much to the delight of her Mommy. She has super long eyelashes and her skin is smooth and creamy looking.

Developmentally, it seems that Bailey is having a lot more alert time than in previous weeks. She wakes up wanting to eat, but after eating, she's generally alert and happy for about an hour. This is wonderful during the day...not so great at night.

Speaking of night - Bailey is not a great sleeper. She likes to be held while she's sleeping and so far, our attempts to break her of that are not really working. She'll go down, but she's right back up a few minutes later. During the night, when we can get her down in her co-sleeper, she'll only sleep about two hours before waking and wanting to be up and held. So...we're working on that. It's an ongoing project.

Finally, there couldn't be a more adored child. Bailey's Mommy and Momma are in love with her, and every day brings deeper and deeper love. It's a pretty cool thing...

Our Love at Three Weeks! (And One of the Kitties...Highly Suspicious!)

Missing Mommy

Yesterday morning, Bailey was completely "off". She didn't sleep for almost five hours...wouldn't go down for her nap and was very difficult to comfort. I kept wondering what was up, and then all of a sudden it dawned on me! Every morning since we have been home from the hospital, Kelly takes the morning shift. I do the night, so when we wake up, Kelly does the morning. But Kelly went back to work.

Bailey was missing her!!! Kelly and I have very different styles of holding and talking to Bailey. I'm much more matter-of-fact. Kelly is far more gentle. There is no doubt that Bailey could sense the change...and it threw her off!!!

Sweet...very sweet.

Here's a couple new pictures of Miss. Bailey!

This is what TIRED looks like!

Just Chillin' With Mommy!

Recommendation

I love to sing to Bailey. I've become quite fond of singing "You Are My Sunshine" to her. I also sing "Leaving on a Jetplane" and "Puff the Magic Dragon", as my mother did to me when I was a child. I've also added "Bobby McGee"...arguably one of the greatest all time songs by one of the greatest all time artists...in my opinion!

BUT...these are not really kids songs. They are not upbeat for the most part. They are not fun and silly and don't cause you to want to dance and sing around the room. Which is what music is supposed to do!

So, drawing back into my childhood, I remembered a cassette that my mom got for us. It came with a book of the lyrics and I remember loving every single song and singing just as loud as I could every time I played the cassette...which was often (much to my brothers' misery).

I decided to find it for Bailey. If you're looking for some seriously high-energy, wonderful, wonderful music for children...this is it. And it has the rewards to prove it. It's KidsSongs - sung by Nancy Cassidy.

You won't be disappointed...

Thumb Sucker

I sucked my thumb until I was 12 years old. LOL - this is not a secret that I like to share, but it's true. Of course, the older I got, the more taboo the sucking got...so it dwindled down to just night time sucking. Eventually, I stopped.

It seems that our Bailey is also going to be a thumb sucker. She's not even three weeks old yet, and she's already found her thumb and uses it to do some self-soothing. This morning, just a few minutes ago, she was fussy. I'm trying to hold her off on eating...she's been demanding lots and lots of food without schedule. We need to make sure that she gets on a schedule and the only way to do that is to hold her off. So, no food yet. I want to make sure she's good and hungry before I feed her this morning.

So anyway, she was playing in her bouncy chair but then got bored. She started fussing, so I picked her up and put her on my chest (one of her favorite positions). She flung herself to the side, as she often does, and promptly put her thumb into her mouth and began madly sucking. She sucked and sucked and then fell sound asleep. She's sleeping now.

This is the part where I'm supposed to put her down. We're trying really hard to get her used to sleeping away from other people. In nine weeks she starts child care, where she will spend a significant amount of the day sleeping in a crib...NOT in someone's arms. I know that it seems far away, but I don't want to make that transition harder on her by not having her get used to sleeping independently. Sigh. But this is when I WANT to hold her. She's so sweet and cuddly. Oh well. Down she goes. It's better for all of us.

This morning I tried a size two diaper on her. It fit. Just a couple of days ago, it was way too big. Today, it's a little big, but looks so much more comfortable than the size one. Also, last night we put her in a size three months sleeper. Again...a little big, but still more comfy than the 0-3 months size.

Good god, our baby is, quite literally, growing up. It's wonderful...and frustrating. I'm just now starting to wake up from the fog of the first couple of weeks. I'm glad we've taken a bunch of pictures...she's changing before our very eyes.

Now...if only I could convince her to sleep more than 2 hours at a stretch at night...

The Stripes

Bailey is going through a developmental and growth spurt! This morning she ate 5 ounces of formula before she would calm down!!!! She's been eating between 3-4 ounces for the past couple of days, but we've noticed that she's not sleeping as long and doesn't seem as satisfied. We decided to try a little more and she ate it all!!!! This must be the start of the famous three-week growth spurt!!!

Also, our Miss. Bailey is enraptured by stripes. Particularly the ones on her bouncy chair. She lays in the chair and all she wants to do is stare at the stripes on the fabric. Kelly has this old tee shirt that is bright, primary color stripes. We happened to have it on the bed one day and realized that Bailey was staring at it intently. Since then, we've put it in front of her a couple of times and each time she'll spend 20 minutes or so just staring, waving her arms and legs.

It's pretty cool to see her going through these changes. This is the easy, easy part of parenting...

Things We Don't Know

Kelly and I are very informed people. By that, I mean that we spend lots of time researching whatever it is that we are doing. Having a child has not escaped the endless scrutiny of books, internet research, advice seeking and more fact finding. We knew each developmental milestone while Bailey was in utero...even if those were not always accurate (they are averages after all)!

I think that we are like that because it allows for some level of control over an unpredictable world. One of the core similarities between Kelly and I is our need for predictability and stability. We value these things in our life above most other things (other than love and affection). So having as many facts as possible when we embark on anything is important to us.

With that said, in the past two and a half weeks of whirlwind living...trying to figure out what parenting means for us and how Bailey operates...we've realized that we have done almost no research. We've relied heavily on the advice of others...doctors, nurses, family, friends...and of course on our instincts. But not on books. Not on the internet.

We've decided to rectify that problem today. We are going to spend some time at one of the local bookstores today and find a book about a baby's first year. We're looking for developmental milestones (when exactly does the average baby roll over???), and for the subtle cues that we can watch for as Bailey grows.

Of course, relying too heavily on these things is not good. And we know that. We just like to be prepared...

Primary Care Giver

Kelly and I were talking this morning about when she heads back to work on Monday. I'm a little worried because I'll be Bailey's primary care giver at that point. We have shared the load up until now. For instance, right now, Bailey is downstairs with Kelly. I'm posting and then going to take a half hour for a shower. More importantly, I'm getting downtime away from Bailey's needs. I recognize how important this downtime is. Not only am I learning from watching friends be single parents, but I'm also learning because when I DON'T get the time, I want to go crazy.

Case in point - last night, Bailey struggled to get to bed. We started trying to make it happen around 9 PM. I didn't realize how much I needed to be able to put her down and not be touched for a while until she refused to lay down no matter what we did. She wanted to be held, rocked until she was in a dead sleep and nothing else would do. I eventually ended up laying her between my legs on the bed and crying while Bailey screamed and flailed her arms. Kelly came to the rescue, being able to take her away from me and give her the rocking comfort that she needed. Most importantly, Kelly wasn't as frustrated as I was and was able to calm Bailey. I just kept upsetting her with my upset energy.

So, I'm a little apprehensive about Kelly going back to work. I love our child and I love caring for her, but I love my space as well. We have agreed that the evenings when Kelly gets home from work are mine. That will be her time to bond with Bailey and care for her, while I get some space away from her. I'll also be responsible for feeding us, but that's what I love to do...so that is not a chore.

Also, we discovered that Kelly's boss's wife is a WONDERFUL caregiver of children and is more than willing to take Bailey for a while. We are planning a night out once Bailey hits the one month mark, and I am planning to see if I can set up a couple of hours each week where Bailey goes to visit. This will give me some "me" time and will give Bailey some interaction with other people. Also, without family around, we must rely on our friends. This is one person who can help out. Along with our dear neighbor Karen and her daughter, we are feeling extremely blessed by the people who have surrounded us with love and support. It's hard to have a baby without family around.

I'm off to shower...and to enjoy a few more minutes of Mikki-time before I become Momma again...

Blog Changes

I'm making some changes to the layout!!!! Hopefully this will still work...

New Normal

I keep waiting for some level of "normal" to come back. It still doesn't feel normal to wake up three times a night and soothe, feed and change a child. It doesn't feel normal to nap during the day as a necessity, or to ignore my emails because I have something (or rather, someone) more important to attend to. It doesn't feel normal that there is a co-sleeper in between my wife and I in bed, and that in order to kiss her good night or cuddle with her before falling asleep, I have to get up and go to "her" side.

What does feel normal is looking into our Bailey's beautiful face during her alert time. It feels normal to worry about her. It feels normal to make our plans knowing that she'll be coming along. It feels normal to know that every day for the rest of our lives, we'll be the parents to this child who will become a woman. It feels normal to think about the second child...

Tuesday, I had a doctors appointment. My incision is healing well - that is to say that it is pretty much healed. I still have some internal pain, but not much. I'm definitely improving by the day. We ended up having a long wait at the doctors. My doctor was over at the hospital delivering a child. The benefit to a small town doctor is that you get small town service. The detriment is that you are not always at the top of the priority list. Kelly and I used the time to start thinking about when we'll start trying for our second child. Having more than one, and having them relatively close together, has always been our dream. We've agreed to table the discussion until Bailey is 6 months old. Then, we'll start planning in earnest...

Yesterday, Bailey had her 2 week check up. We are happy to report that she has gained back all of her birth weight...and then some. She weighed in a 10 pounds, 12 ounces. LOL! Guess she's getting enough to eat. She has not grown in inches, but she's already at the top of all the percentiles...and is above average for her size. Everything looks good. She is healthy in all ways.

The only problem we were having is that in the last couple of days, she's very fussy, spits up and has lots and lots of gas. It seems like her formula was not working for her. We switched her to a gentle formula, with extra carbs and the whole proteins are already broken down some. We've already seen a huge, huge improvement. Other than her usual feeding times, she slept through the night last night and we've not had any long-term gassy episodes. Also, she's not had any spit up since we switched her. We're holding our breath!!!

Finally - yesterday, we got an AWESOME gift in the mail!!! Miss. Bailey got a nature sounds cradle swing from some good friends of mine in California! We didn't have a swing (well, not true...we had a second hand Graco that she was too small for), so we were way excited. We put her in it immediately after we had put it together and wouldn't you believe it...she slept solid for an hour!!!!! I was able to get the dishes done, the house picked up, dinner made and the bottles sterilized! PERFECT!!!! Thank you so much, Karen and Richard!!! Pictures are on the way...

Speaking of pictures...here are couple of new ones!

The Loves of My Life

After Two Weeks of Trying, She Finally Got it in her Mouth!!!

Hmmm...I wonder what kind of drama I can start today???
Swinging Peacefully

Two Hands

I am a touch typer. A fast one. 70-90 words per minute depending on what else I'm doing. However, I have not been able to figure out how to type while holding Bailey and still maintain that speed.

Bailey's favorite position is in a cradle hold, with her head pressed against my chest. However, that means that one hand is not free to type. Having been a touch typist for so many years, I can't hunt and peck the keys. I literally do not "know" where they are. My fingers just go to them instinctual. If Bailey lets me put her on my chest, I can use both hands and then I'm good. Thats how she is right now, curled up into a little ball sleeping on my chest.

Other things that really do require two hands include eating, doing the dishes, folding laundry...just about anything chore-like. Eating is the big thing. Kelly and I have developed a system. If Bailey is awake during mealtime, the cooking partner is required to cut up all food into bite sized pieces for the holding partner. Then, the holding partner can just eat with one hand. Which is fine if the food is eaten that way. But, what about spaghetti? Or pot pie? Or soup? LOL - so many things to ponder...

We are all well today. I have another doctors appointment this morning just to check on my incision. I think that everything is fine - I feel good and have only a little bit of internal pain. My body is returning to normal. My anemia seems to be mellowing out, because my energy level is returning and walking up the stairs doesn't require a huge effort. I'm not pale anymore.

We are all returning to some state of normal, thank god. I've needed to get back to some stability and normalcy. My two favorite states of being! Stable and normal...

Off to shower...

Sleeping Beauty

Last night we began our nightly bedtime ritual. Kelly's sister (who is also a mommy to a new little girl) suggested a bath using the calming lavender bath wash. We decided to give it a try. So, we trooped to our bathroom, made it nice and warm with a space heater and proceeded to give our little girl a nice bath. I rubbed her down with lavender baby lotion after while Kelly held and cooed at her.

We put her in a comfy cotton union suit, and then put her in her sleep sack. We fed her a bottle (four ounces of formula!!!!) and then laid her down to sleep for the first time in her new co-sleeper.

And wouldn't you know it...the girl slept uninterrupted until 2:00 AM!!! When she woke up at 2, we fed her another bottle and she crashed out again until 5:30. At 5:30 AM, she was up again for a bottle and a diaper change. Then, back down until 7:30 when we all got up! We fed her another bottle at around 8:15, and she is currently sleeping on my chest.

So far, the in-bed co-sleeper is the best purchase we've ever made!!! I only hope the she does as well tonight and that last night wasn't just a fluke.

Kelly and I feel like a million bucks!!!!

Kelly decided to take this week off work with me. She was going to go back, but because we spent the entire first week in the hospital, and because I'm still in recovery mode, she wanted to be sure to be here with Bailey and me. I'm so happy that she decided to stay home. Not just because of my recovery, but because it's comforting to have someone else around to help me decode Bailey. Sometimes, it's just hard and I need the second person to help me keep it all in perspective. I'm glad she's here.

We are doing well at this parenting thing as partners. I've heard horror stories about how new babies drive a wedge sometimes between the parents. For Kelly and I, it's been just the opposite. We actively work to ensure that the other is very comfortable, that the other's needs are being met and that we are gentle with each other right now. We both expect that this is a huge transition...and we are right. Our relationship changes by the minute. In some ways, it's much stronger than ever, but in others, it's brand new. We entered this part not knowing what to expect, but knowing that whatever came, we'll always be strongest when we are allies and not enemies.

So, we're taking it easy on each other. No nitpicking. No "you should do it this way". No second guessing. As far as I'm concerned, I know that Kelly has Bailey's best interests in mind at all times. If she does something different than I do, so what?? She would never hurt her...never do anything that would put her in danger...therefore whatever she is doing differently is just different...not wrong. By being able to let go of all of that, we're able to not only enjoy Bailey right now, but to also enjoy each other.

And honestly, that kind of love and teamwork has made all the difference in these past couple of weeks.

Grown Up Brag Book

Just wanted to take a minute and post some absolutely adorable pictures of our little girl!!!! LOL - I consider this our brag book!!!!

Happy Mother's Day!

It's cool to be able to participate in this holiday in a new way this year. This year, while picking out cards for my mother and my sister-in-law, I also picked out cards for my wife and one from Bailey to her Mommy. It made me cry. How lucky am I that we have such a wonderful daughter to raise and to share and that we get to celebrate this incredible gift of motherhood??

Anyway - it's obvious that this holiday means a little bit more to me than it has in previous years. I just feel so blessed.

Bailey struggled to sleep last night until we pulled her into bed with us. Kelly and I had a couple of glasses of wine last night, and I decided that it was safer for Bailey to sleep in her bassinet right next to our bed, as opposed to in it with us. I just didn't want to risk sleeping extra hard and having something horrible happen. Well. She woke up every fifteen minutes screaming like she'd been banished to the pits of hell. She was warm, had a full belly, a clean diaper and absolutely nothing was wrong with her...except that she wasn't within reach of her Momma and Mommy. I would reach out and rub her tummy, talk lightly to her, give her a pacifier and rock the bassinet. She would nod back off. 10 minutes later, she was screaming again!!!

We did this for four hours before I finally gave in and pulled her into bed with us. Then, she slept uninterrupted (meaning Mommy and Momma did to) for four hours, and then again for another four (she's still sleeping actually) after a feeding. Umm Hmmm. The problem is that she doesn't just sleep between us. Our 11 day old daughter actually twists herself onto her side and wiggles/scoots until her face is literally buried in my breast. She grabs right one with one hand and shoves her face into my breast. Then she falls asleep. Cute, yes. But not ONE BIT safe!!!!

The other problem is that rather than my fear keeping me awake, what happens is that I crash out. So there we are, sleeping in the most extremely unsafe position, both of us zonked out. It scares the living beejesus out of me!

So, today, Kelly and I are off to Baby's R Us to buy an in-the-bed co-sleeper. I'm okay with breaking yet another "I will never" rule and letting her sleep with us. But it needs to be in a safe way. Besides, it seems that the only way that we will ever get any sleep in these first couple of weeks/months is by accepting the inevitable...

Happy Mother's Day, everyone!

Patterns

Last night was a good night. Bailey slept through the night, only waking every 3 hours or so for her feedings. We are all feeling pretty good this morning. Now, if we can only figure out how to get her to sleep comfortably when she's not with us, in our arms or in our bed!!! We're giving her the first two weeks. We keep putting her in her bassinet and letting her stay there for a while. We give her a few minutes to try to self-soothe, but she's just too young for us to expect much.

Around week 3 or 4, we'll move her into her crib and start pushing a real pattern. Until then, we're just going with the flow and getting rest when and how we can. It's working for all of us...

Bailey is going to be a formula-fed baby. My milk struggled to come in because of the surgery and the anemia that followed. Also, I kind of gave up. I was feeling so overwhelmed by having to feed her formula while waiting for my milk and pump when I wasn't feeding her to preserve and promote my supply. I know that it's ideal for a child to drink breast milk, but there is a point where my sanity is equally important. If Momma is going crazy, the detriments to Bailey will be worse than just feeding her formula.

It's interesting how things change when confronted with reality. However, in true Mikki-fashion, I refuse to feel guilty. Kelly and I have made the choice that is right for our family and for our child. Now that we've worked through the pros and cons, I'm comfortable with the decision.

Maybe the next baby will have a different outcome.

Simple patterns are starting to emerge, and it's wonderful. We can predict when Bailey will wake, based on when it's time to eat. We are learning how to catch her before she gets really wound up...thus helping her keep sleeping (a trick that worked WONDERFULLY) last night. I've said it before, but we really are starting to get the hang of this...

Happiness Is...

Well, this may seem superficial to some when there really are lots of other things to be much happier about...BUT...

I have lost 25 pounds since delivering Bailey!!!! Since I only gained 20 during the pregnancy, I am down five pounds from my starting weight!!! WOO HOOO!!! Also, this morning, I was able to put on all my pre-pregnancy clothes...shorts and jeans!!!!!

I've gotta say...that makes me a seriously happy girl...

It was a long night last night, but Bailey eventually fell asleep around 3:30 and slept hard for five hours. Momma did too. We're both feeling pretty good this morning. Kelly got some good rest after we went downstairs. I decided that if Bailey wasn't going to sleep, I'd head downstairs and at least enjoy watching TV. Of course, as soon as we got there, Bailey crashed out. Go figure.

Not much on the agenda for today. We have to get another prescription for me filled, but that is it. We are going to take it easy.

We're finally getting the hang of this...

Check out our little honey...isn't she a doll?? This was taken this morning right after she woke up from her five hours of sleep...

Middle of the Night

I'm posting this at 1:41 in the morning! Bailey is wide awake, laying on our bed. Kelly is sound asleep beside her. The light is on and Bailey is staring at it, peacefully kicking her legs and chewing on her fist. She is content just to lie there and stare at the light...she doesn't want to be fussed with, doesn't want to be entertained. I tried for about an hour to "calm" her and then realized that I was probably the problem!

I turned on the light, laid her down and let her be. Go figure.

We're getting this worked out...slowly, but surely.

Thanks to a couple of very long naps yesterday, I'm feeling great...even though it's the middle of the night. Don't get me wrong...I could be sleeping...but I feel great for being awake at this time of the evening.

Uh oh...guess who's ready for some attention????

We're Getting Through

Motherhood is blissful...in moment. In other moments, it's hard as shit. In every moment it's exhausting, overwhelming and kind of scary.

Kelly is my rock, as she's always been. We are getting through these first days together.

Our Bailey knows what she wants and knows how to ask for it. She's the size of a two month old, has the cries of a two month old and seems to have a constant string of needs for us to figure out. We are working through, learning her...but it's been interesting.

Don't get me wrong...I love this. But learning a new person is hard work, and our little doll is her Momma's miniature through and through. She makes me laugh she's so much like me...

For those of you who know me, you can see how that could translate into lots of work sometimes.

Postpartum stuff has started. I cry randomly, without warning or provocation. Last night, I spent two hours holding Bailey in the middle of the night, snuggling and feeding her while I sobbed. Strange.

The Birth Story

It started out just as we had posted. On Monday, April 30th, we checked into our hospital at approximately 4 PM. Instead of being put into one of the big birthing suites, we were put in this little tiny closet of a room that is used for outpatient testing...the birthing unit was FULL! Of course, we were fine with that...after all, I wasn't in labor yet! They got me all hooked up to the monitors and we got ready for a long night. We decided on dinner and sent my Mom off to get it. While she was gone, my doctor came in and inserted the Cervadil. At this point, my cervix had not changed at all - I was barely 1 centimeter dilated, and it was high and firm. Bailey was no where near engaged.

Not to worry! Ever the optimist, I settled in on my back while the Cervadil did it's thing. Dinner arrived, and Kelly and I had fun trying to feed me soup while flat on my back! LOL - note to self...

For the first two hours of the Cervadil, I was unable to move positions or get up. So we hung out and then eventually got ready to go to bed. My mom went home. Kelly, lacking any bed of her own (or even a comfortable chair) climbed into bed with me. At around midnight, our nurse came into the room. They were going to allow me to take off the monitors so that I could get some rest! WooHoo!!! At this point, she gave us some shit about whether or not Kelly was going to be allowed to crash with me in the bed...the nurse tried to tell her no. I asked her what she would do if we did it anyway. She didn't say much, and left in a huff. Fuck her. Kelly climbed in and we settled down to get some sleep.

Just as a I was drifting off, I started to have contractions. Bad ones. I didn't realize that they were contractions though...I thought I had to poop! But it was really bad. I ended up sitting up for about an hour and a half on the side of the bed and rocking back and forth, just willing my body to relax. I did pretty well tolerating the pain. I was off the monitors, so I was able to just be there in silence and labor. Eventually, Kelly and I decided that we should let one of the nurses know that I was contracting. The nurse came in (the same one) and hooked me back up. Of course, this meant that I couldn't be in any position that was comfortable for my laboring body.

Indeed, I was contracting - about a minute apart and they were pretty intense. After a short while, the nurse decided to check my cervix. She had long finger nails and while I will keep the graphic details short, she hurt the hell out of me. Cervadil makes a person really sensitive anyway...but this woman was not very good at her job and she was dumb enough to think that she could not hurt someone with her nails.

The end result is that I had not dilated at all at this point. We continued on through the night.

At around 9:00 AM, I was transferred into one of the big labor and delivery rooms. My Cervadil was removed and I was able to shower. I felt much better, but not rested...Kelly and I had spent the night up and in labor! My regular doctor checked me and found my Cervix to be completely unchanged. Uggg. We started Pitocin.

I spent all day Tuesday on Pitocin. I had a few periods of contractions that I could feel - even though I was contracting all day. I just couldn't feel them. It was strange. They had me up on a pretty high level, and my body wasn't reacting at all. At around 12:30 in the afternoon, Kelly's mom, stepdad and aunt showed up. By the time 6 PM rolled around, my cervix was still unchanged. It was slightly softer, but that's really it.

My doctor came in and asked us what we wanted to do - were we ready to give up yet? At this point, we all discussed the options and decided to try one more induction method - a Foley Catheter.

Essentially, this is a small balloon that is inserted just inside my cervix, then inflated with saline water. It sits on the inside of the cervix, applying pressure and causing the release of prostoglandins. The insertion also strips the membranes.

The procedure was extraordinarily painful for me and I ended up sobbing while it was being done. My vagina was extremely sore from the Cervadil and from being mishandled by women with long fingernails. It was very, very rough. At the end of the procedure, though, I was given some pretty strong pain drugs via IV and passed out. When I woke, it was about time for our moms to go home and let the catheter do it's thing through the night. Kelly had a pull out recliner to sleep on and we went to bed. The catheter had to be removed after 6 hours...which was approximately 1:30 AM in the morning, if it had not fallen out on its own. At 1:30, the nurse came in (the one with long fingernails again) and removed the catheter. She also checked me. No change.

We went back to bed. The next morning - Wednesday, May 2nd - my doctor checked me. Still no change and no contractions through the night. I showered again and got ready for another day on Pitocin. We spent the day on Pitocin, and once again, I had a pretty strong rhythm of contractions, but I couldn't feel them. Nothing. No pain at all. And no dilation. At around 2:30, my doctor came in and we decided to go forward with a c-section. There was no progress and Bailey was not going to be coming out on her own anytime soon. They didn't take me off the Pitocin until around 6 PM. Interestingly, I passed my mucus plug while waiting to be prepped for surgery. We thought we might get lucky and have real labor start, but no such luck.

We were prepped for surgery. The epidural was extremely painful for me. Eventually, they got it in and all the other preparations for surgery were complete. Kelly can tell this part of the story better than I can - I was pretty out of it. They brought Kelly into the surgery room after they made the initial cut into my abdominal cavity (this is normal). I laid there and tried not to panic (it was hard for me) while she told me that she loved me and I just stared into her blue eyes. I remember thinking that everything would be fine as long as I could see her eyes. We heard them make a comment about the cord being wrapped around Bailey's neck and Kelly stood up to watch them pull her out of me. The doctors all commented and laughed about how huge she was! At this point, I heard her cry. She didn't scream in the room very much - just cried a bit.

It gets a bit woozy for me at this point. I know that Bailey was brought over to me and I saw her face before she and Kelly left the room. The intensity in the room had gone up, though, and the doctors had gotten very serious. What I didn't know at the time was that they were struggling to stop my bleeding. Because of Bailey's size, my uterus was not properly contracting to cut off the bleeding. I lost a lot of blood. I got very nauseous and vomited on the table. That was tough. The doctors kept telling me that I was fine, and I just closed my eyes and tried to relax. I imagined lots of things, but I just kept focusing on my daughter and my partner just down the hall and I got through it.

I was eventually wheeled into the recovery room. Bailey was being bathed and they were finishing up her measurements in the room just off the recovery room. Kelly was there. I laid in bed and listened to her cries as they cleaned her, while Kelly went back and forth between us. I was in a very strange place - sort of there but not really. The nurses were still working on me, pushing on my belly and getting clots out. I know it's gross, but that is what they were doing. The bleeding hadn't stopped yet and I was just waiting for them to finish up and bring me my daughter.

Eventually, the bleeding let up some. Enough that the situation calmed down. Kelly brought Bailey to me. We loved her. Stared at her and cooed at her. It was wonderful. We breast fed. Eventually, we called our moms in the from the waiting room to meet her.

What I found out later is that my blood levels had dropped extremely low. I was monitored for the possibility of a transfusion for three days, but didn't end up needing one.

All told, it wasn't the dream birth...but it was ours and it brought us Bailey. I regret nothing, and only hope that the next one will be able to be a bit more natural. We'll think about that when the time comes, though!

Here are some pictures:

Right before the c-section

Pulling her out

Under the WarmerFinally together...

Delayed

I was going to post our birth story...but after spending five minutes updating the ticker, I'm being called by our love!!!!

I'll be back at some point to actually get this out!!! To hold you over, here's another cute picture...

Introducing Our Bailey...

We are finally home! We are all three healthy, and very happy to be home.

The short version of the very long labor story is that after a multi-day failed induction (cervadil, followed by a day on Pitocin, followed by a balloon to ripen my cervix, followed by another day on Pitocin), I had only dilated one centimeter.

Bailey was delivered via c-section at the end of all of that - much to the great relief of her very, very tired Momma and Mommy!

We are extraordinarily happy to be home and after a good long shower, some down time, a good night's rest and some adjustment time, I'll post the full story of our birth!

To hold you over, here are some pictures of our little honey...

Bailey - about 15 minutes after her birth

Bailey - One Day Old

Bailey - On her way home!

Happy Birthday Bailey!

On May, 2nd at 7:25 pm EST, Bailey McFadden was born! She's 10 lbs. 9 oz. and 21 1/2 inches long. Both moms and baby are doing great! When they are back online we're sure they'll share their amazing birth story. All we can say is yeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh, and we can't wait to meet Bailey. -- Monica and Susanne (guest posting for Mikki and Kelly)

Still waiting

This is M&S "guest" posting for our good friends Mikki and Kelly. It's Tuesday night around 10:30 or so on the east coast, and we just got a call from Kelly that apparently Bailey is being "slow as molasses" about making her appearance, but that all is well. They asked us to pass this info along via this blog, and hopefully we'll post again shortly. -Monica and Susanne