It's cool to be able to participate in this holiday in a new way this year. This year, while picking out cards for my mother and my sister-in-law, I also picked out cards for my wife and one from Bailey to her Mommy. It made me cry. How lucky am I that we have such a wonderful daughter to raise and to share and that we get to celebrate this incredible gift of motherhood??
Anyway - it's obvious that this holiday means a little bit more to me than it has in previous years. I just feel so blessed.
Bailey struggled to sleep last night until we pulled her into bed with us. Kelly and I had a couple of glasses of wine last night, and I decided that it was safer for Bailey to sleep in her bassinet right next to our bed, as opposed to in it with us. I just didn't want to risk sleeping extra hard and having something horrible happen. Well. She woke up every fifteen minutes screaming like she'd been banished to the pits of hell. She was warm, had a full belly, a clean diaper and absolutely nothing was wrong with her...except that she wasn't within reach of her Momma and Mommy. I would reach out and rub her tummy, talk lightly to her, give her a pacifier and rock the bassinet. She would nod back off. 10 minutes later, she was screaming again!!!
We did this for four hours before I finally gave in and pulled her into bed with us. Then, she slept uninterrupted (meaning Mommy and Momma did to) for four hours, and then again for another four (she's still sleeping actually) after a feeding. Umm Hmmm. The problem is that she doesn't just sleep between us. Our 11 day old daughter actually twists herself onto her side and wiggles/scoots until her face is literally buried in my breast. She grabs right one with one hand and shoves her face into my breast. Then she falls asleep. Cute, yes. But not ONE BIT safe!!!!
The other problem is that rather than my fear keeping me awake, what happens is that I crash out. So there we are, sleeping in the most extremely unsafe position, both of us zonked out. It scares the living beejesus out of me!
So, today, Kelly and I are off to Baby's R Us to buy an in-the-bed co-sleeper. I'm okay with breaking yet another "I will never" rule and letting her sleep with us. But it needs to be in a safe way. Besides, it seems that the only way that we will ever get any sleep in these first couple of weeks/months is by accepting the inevitable...
Happy Mother's Day, everyone!
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The in the bed co-sleeper was great for me during the first couple of weeks. I would curl my body around baby boys little nest and we both slept very well. Now he spends half the night in his sidecar co-sleeper and half the night with me. In the sidecar co-sleeper I can reach out and check on him without getting up. While in bed with me does a similar move wiggling close and putting his head right into my breast. I feel more safe now that he has more control over his head.
Happy Mothers Day to both of you!
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