Normal Nighttime Playing
2/21/2008
2/20/2008
Ho Hum
Life is pretty normal right now - not much to report.
Bailey has hit another plateu - not much new on the development front. She had a rough night on Monday, but other than that, everything is fine. She's still eating enough for two babies, but seems to be growing normally. Walking is just around the corner - every day she gets closer.
She's all about trying the food that we are eating...which is interesting given that she only has two bottom teeth on the front. The other day, I cut up tiny, tiny pieces of the curry turkey I had made and she had some while we ate. I think it makes her feel like a big girl to be able to eat the food that we are eating.
We've noticed a new behavioral issue that we're working on. You know how Bailey has always been a "slapper". She hits everything when she's excited or happy. Well, now, that has turned into hitting when she's frustrated. Each time she does it, we hold both her wrists and firmly tell her no and then redirect her. Problem is, she thinks it's a game. She literally laughs every time we do it. Usually right in our faces. We are being consistant and as she gets a little older, the consequences will increase. We'll never hit her...but timeouts will be used liberally.
Other than that, nothing new. We're just trucking along!
Bailey has hit another plateu - not much new on the development front. She had a rough night on Monday, but other than that, everything is fine. She's still eating enough for two babies, but seems to be growing normally. Walking is just around the corner - every day she gets closer.
She's all about trying the food that we are eating...which is interesting given that she only has two bottom teeth on the front. The other day, I cut up tiny, tiny pieces of the curry turkey I had made and she had some while we ate. I think it makes her feel like a big girl to be able to eat the food that we are eating.
We've noticed a new behavioral issue that we're working on. You know how Bailey has always been a "slapper". She hits everything when she's excited or happy. Well, now, that has turned into hitting when she's frustrated. Each time she does it, we hold both her wrists and firmly tell her no and then redirect her. Problem is, she thinks it's a game. She literally laughs every time we do it. Usually right in our faces. We are being consistant and as she gets a little older, the consequences will increase. We'll never hit her...but timeouts will be used liberally.
Other than that, nothing new. We're just trucking along!
2/17/2008
Trying SO Hard!
Our Bubbles is trying so hard to walk. She stands on her own regularly now - without holding on to anything. She's also gotten advanced enough that she can do other things while standing on her own (like dance, bounce, clap her hands, squat to pick things up). And she knows the basic principle. When she's holding onto our finger (just one hand is necessary), she will lunge forward and do the drunken baby walk.
She's very wobbly and just not confident enough. But it's coming. Soon. We're thinking within the next month, she should have gotten it mastered. As with everything else, we haven't pushed her...we're just encouraging and letting her do her own thing. We both wait with baited breath every time we're hanging out with her for those first few real steps.
She's recently gone through a major growth spurt. Let me give you a basic understanding of how much food she's eating right now:
Breakfast #1: 6 oz formula, half a Kashi blueberry waffle, half cup of berries (or apples, peaches, strawberries or banana)
Breakfast #2 (hour or so later): rest of blueberry waffle, more fruit
Mid-morning snack: 6 oz formula
Lunch #1: 6 oz formula, 3/4 of container of Pasta Pickups - Chicken & veggie ravioli, 6 meat sticks (chicken or turkey), 1/2 cup of broccoli
Lunch #2: rest of pasta pickups, leftover fruit from breakfast, couple handfuls of puffs, cheerios
Afternoon Snack: 6 oz formula
Dinner: 1/2 cup of peas or carrots, 6 meat sticks (or a veggie burger or beans), fruit (if she wants it), 3-5 oz soy milk
Right before bed: 6-8 oz formula.
That's a lot, isn't it??? Except that she is not gaining a bunch of weight. In fact, her weight has completely stabilized and she is exactly where she is supposed to be. I guess I would be worried if she was gaining weight rapidly, but she is not.
The thing is, we don't force her or deny her food. We offer her what we are willing to let her have. She eats tons of veggies. She gets fresh (we prepare it ourselves) fruits and lots and lots of veggies every day. We let her eat the meat sticks (because it is just pure chicken or turkey packed together). We've agreed to start weening her from her bottle when she's 10 months old. We'll begin by replacing one or two with soy milk. Or maybe, we'll start putting everything in a sippy cup, but give her the same amount. Who knows. We'll figure it out and go with what is right at the time.
For now, we are just sitting back and watching her grow. She's working so hard and learning things all the time. We love just hanging out with her, sitting on the floor and watching her discover.
We've talked about how sometimes it feels like we are wasting time. We spend every evening on the floor with her, interacting, reading, playing, dancing, singing and talking. We don't talk baby-talk, and sometimes we just ignore her. But we're down there with her and we get to watch her as she discovers things over and over again. Sometimes, the time crunch gets the best of us (by us, I mean me, of course).
But then, I remember that Bailey is already almost 10 months old. She is growing up so fast. And I refuse to say that the dishes being done is more important that this time with her. It's hard work sometimes, to prioritize. It really is. I like the order. I want my house clean. I don't like dishes or dirty counter tops. I can't stand clutter. And very simply, sometimes the decision to be made is to deal with those things and have time with our daughter or take care of those things and wonder what I'm missing when Kelly and Bailey break into peals of laughter in the family room. I choose them. And the dishes are still done, most of the time...LOL!
Wow - this post is like my mind recently - darting in and out of random thoughts constantly. Every day moves at warp speed. It only slows down in the moments when I'm with my girls, sitting on the family room floor, listening to Bailey's favorite music, dancing, laughing, being crawled over, watching Kelly over the top of Bailey's head and seeing that my life is truly a gift.
Happy Sunday, everyone!
She's very wobbly and just not confident enough. But it's coming. Soon. We're thinking within the next month, she should have gotten it mastered. As with everything else, we haven't pushed her...we're just encouraging and letting her do her own thing. We both wait with baited breath every time we're hanging out with her for those first few real steps.
She's recently gone through a major growth spurt. Let me give you a basic understanding of how much food she's eating right now:
Breakfast #1: 6 oz formula, half a Kashi blueberry waffle, half cup of berries (or apples, peaches, strawberries or banana)
Breakfast #2 (hour or so later): rest of blueberry waffle, more fruit
Mid-morning snack: 6 oz formula
Lunch #1: 6 oz formula, 3/4 of container of Pasta Pickups - Chicken & veggie ravioli, 6 meat sticks (chicken or turkey), 1/2 cup of broccoli
Lunch #2: rest of pasta pickups, leftover fruit from breakfast, couple handfuls of puffs, cheerios
Afternoon Snack: 6 oz formula
Dinner: 1/2 cup of peas or carrots, 6 meat sticks (or a veggie burger or beans), fruit (if she wants it), 3-5 oz soy milk
Right before bed: 6-8 oz formula.
That's a lot, isn't it??? Except that she is not gaining a bunch of weight. In fact, her weight has completely stabilized and she is exactly where she is supposed to be. I guess I would be worried if she was gaining weight rapidly, but she is not.
The thing is, we don't force her or deny her food. We offer her what we are willing to let her have. She eats tons of veggies. She gets fresh (we prepare it ourselves) fruits and lots and lots of veggies every day. We let her eat the meat sticks (because it is just pure chicken or turkey packed together). We've agreed to start weening her from her bottle when she's 10 months old. We'll begin by replacing one or two with soy milk. Or maybe, we'll start putting everything in a sippy cup, but give her the same amount. Who knows. We'll figure it out and go with what is right at the time.
For now, we are just sitting back and watching her grow. She's working so hard and learning things all the time. We love just hanging out with her, sitting on the floor and watching her discover.
We've talked about how sometimes it feels like we are wasting time. We spend every evening on the floor with her, interacting, reading, playing, dancing, singing and talking. We don't talk baby-talk, and sometimes we just ignore her. But we're down there with her and we get to watch her as she discovers things over and over again. Sometimes, the time crunch gets the best of us (by us, I mean me, of course).
But then, I remember that Bailey is already almost 10 months old. She is growing up so fast. And I refuse to say that the dishes being done is more important that this time with her. It's hard work sometimes, to prioritize. It really is. I like the order. I want my house clean. I don't like dishes or dirty counter tops. I can't stand clutter. And very simply, sometimes the decision to be made is to deal with those things and have time with our daughter or take care of those things and wonder what I'm missing when Kelly and Bailey break into peals of laughter in the family room. I choose them. And the dishes are still done, most of the time...LOL!
Wow - this post is like my mind recently - darting in and out of random thoughts constantly. Every day moves at warp speed. It only slows down in the moments when I'm with my girls, sitting on the family room floor, listening to Bailey's favorite music, dancing, laughing, being crawled over, watching Kelly over the top of Bailey's head and seeing that my life is truly a gift.
Happy Sunday, everyone!
2/14/2008
Barack, HIllary & Politics in General
To the extent that anyone gives a shit, I have to voice my opinion about the current democratic party and what I see happening. I come at this with some education, but honestly, this is just my opinion and feel free (and I'd love it) to disagree with me.
So, I don't honestly understand everyone's fascination with Barack Oboma. I remember listening to him speak at the Democratic Convention four years ago (Kelly and I were watching it together) and we both commented on what an amazing, charismatic speaker he is. And what a political powerhouse he is going to be. And how what he says is important - it has a place in our party and in our politics. I don't want, and would never, discount the man's ability to uplift and energize...something the Democrats sorely need.
What I take a major issue with is how it seems like many people in our party are just jumping on his party line and not looking below it.
(An aside here - having studied politics in college and in graduate school, I do understand that many, many people are sheep when it comes to political thought and just follow the herd. I don't understand that, and can think of very few things that are more dangerous...but I do get it).
Anyway. Back to my original thought. Barack is running on a message of change (we can be the change we seek, yes we can...blah, blah, blah). And while I LOVE the sentiment and really respect his ability to uplift the people...the hard, cold reality is that WHAT HE IS SAYING IS UNREALISTIC. He cannot (and I truly mean CANNOT) walk into the White House on day one and make radical changes in the government and in how the government makes decisions. As a nation, we have processes in place that actively PREVENT him from doing that (the whole seperation of powers thing for those of you who don't know). Seriously - one man cannot effectively change the face of our government by himself and just because he wants to. It doesn't work that...and we should all be damn happy that it doesn't (spend a couple of minutes thinking about the repercussion if one person truly could change everything just because he or she didn't like it).
Now, here is where my experience in politics changes some thing for me. First of all, the reason that I'm not a staffer right now on the hill is because I learned a lot during my graduate program in Legislative Affairs. I learned that in real life, politics is a lot less political than it seems. In order to make ANYTHING work on the hill, you've got to be able to work with everyone (on both sides of the isle) and you have to know how to deal. You have to know how to bargain, to negotiate and to compromise. If you don't, nothing happens. You hit stalemate. I found this out and realized that I could never be in politics - because I cannot work with Republicans. Honestly. That's why I changed my entire carreer objective. Because I couldn't be objective.
Now, put it all together and you can understand why I am not in love with Barack. First - what he's saying he will do cannot happen. He cannot walk in there all cowboy like (think W, here) and force the government to operate in a way that would please him. Second, without the skills (and we all know that skills are gained through experience) to create the kinds of coalitions that he'll need, it's unlikely that he'll be able to make real change at all.
That's why I'm supporting Hillary. She's not fancy. She's not a great speaker. She's a woman who is percieved as a bitch. She doesn't manage to spout rhetoric in a way that makes people believe her (an essential quality in a good politician), and in many ways, she's just cold and distant.
But. She's got experience. She's got years, and years, and years of experience in Washington. Whether you like the lady or not, she's know how Washington works and she knows how to get shit through an incredibly complicated political system. She is not promising earth-shattering change. Because she knows she (and nobody else) can deliver. What she is saying is that she's got 25 years of history, of coalition building and of actual, hard-earned experience with the best and the worst of our political system. And all of that comes with her on day one.
And, she's got Bill. And love him or loathe him...the man is one of the world's most talented coalition builders. He's a foriegn policy genious. And honestly, we need to mend some foriegn fences. W fucked us up pretty bad.
Hillary is my candidate. She is NOT the person who most closely aligns with my political philosophy. She's far to moderate for my liking. She doesn't support gay marriage (none of the candidates left do, though).
But she knows the game. And right now, after 8 years of a stumbling fucking idiot in office who made us look bad, I'm voting for a little finese. I'm looking for someone who can actually make our nation powerful again....not just strong.
So, I don't honestly understand everyone's fascination with Barack Oboma. I remember listening to him speak at the Democratic Convention four years ago (Kelly and I were watching it together) and we both commented on what an amazing, charismatic speaker he is. And what a political powerhouse he is going to be. And how what he says is important - it has a place in our party and in our politics. I don't want, and would never, discount the man's ability to uplift and energize...something the Democrats sorely need.
What I take a major issue with is how it seems like many people in our party are just jumping on his party line and not looking below it.
(An aside here - having studied politics in college and in graduate school, I do understand that many, many people are sheep when it comes to political thought and just follow the herd. I don't understand that, and can think of very few things that are more dangerous...but I do get it).
Anyway. Back to my original thought. Barack is running on a message of change (we can be the change we seek, yes we can...blah, blah, blah). And while I LOVE the sentiment and really respect his ability to uplift the people...the hard, cold reality is that WHAT HE IS SAYING IS UNREALISTIC. He cannot (and I truly mean CANNOT) walk into the White House on day one and make radical changes in the government and in how the government makes decisions. As a nation, we have processes in place that actively PREVENT him from doing that (the whole seperation of powers thing for those of you who don't know). Seriously - one man cannot effectively change the face of our government by himself and just because he wants to. It doesn't work that...and we should all be damn happy that it doesn't (spend a couple of minutes thinking about the repercussion if one person truly could change everything just because he or she didn't like it).
Now, here is where my experience in politics changes some thing for me. First of all, the reason that I'm not a staffer right now on the hill is because I learned a lot during my graduate program in Legislative Affairs. I learned that in real life, politics is a lot less political than it seems. In order to make ANYTHING work on the hill, you've got to be able to work with everyone (on both sides of the isle) and you have to know how to deal. You have to know how to bargain, to negotiate and to compromise. If you don't, nothing happens. You hit stalemate. I found this out and realized that I could never be in politics - because I cannot work with Republicans. Honestly. That's why I changed my entire carreer objective. Because I couldn't be objective.
Now, put it all together and you can understand why I am not in love with Barack. First - what he's saying he will do cannot happen. He cannot walk in there all cowboy like (think W, here) and force the government to operate in a way that would please him. Second, without the skills (and we all know that skills are gained through experience) to create the kinds of coalitions that he'll need, it's unlikely that he'll be able to make real change at all.
That's why I'm supporting Hillary. She's not fancy. She's not a great speaker. She's a woman who is percieved as a bitch. She doesn't manage to spout rhetoric in a way that makes people believe her (an essential quality in a good politician), and in many ways, she's just cold and distant.
But. She's got experience. She's got years, and years, and years of experience in Washington. Whether you like the lady or not, she's know how Washington works and she knows how to get shit through an incredibly complicated political system. She is not promising earth-shattering change. Because she knows she (and nobody else) can deliver. What she is saying is that she's got 25 years of history, of coalition building and of actual, hard-earned experience with the best and the worst of our political system. And all of that comes with her on day one.
And, she's got Bill. And love him or loathe him...the man is one of the world's most talented coalition builders. He's a foriegn policy genious. And honestly, we need to mend some foriegn fences. W fucked us up pretty bad.
Hillary is my candidate. She is NOT the person who most closely aligns with my political philosophy. She's far to moderate for my liking. She doesn't support gay marriage (none of the candidates left do, though).
But she knows the game. And right now, after 8 years of a stumbling fucking idiot in office who made us look bad, I'm voting for a little finese. I'm looking for someone who can actually make our nation powerful again....not just strong.
2/12/2008
Voting...
Gonna go vote with Bailey tonight. We are supporting Hillary. For some reason, I'm super excited about bringing Bailey and introducing her to the action of democracy. I can't wait until she's older and we can talk about the issues.
What a cool thing...to wonder what your child will believe and to think about how our actions, thoughts and beliefs will effect her.
For now, all I can say is GO HILLARY!!!! You've got this lesbian family behind you.
What a cool thing...to wonder what your child will believe and to think about how our actions, thoughts and beliefs will effect her.
For now, all I can say is GO HILLARY!!!! You've got this lesbian family behind you.
2/11/2008
The Stuff Of Life
Seems like it's been forever since I blogged. There really hasn't been that much going on...just normal, keep us running like crazy girls life.
Kelly was sick for most of last week. The awful flu that everyone seems to be getting hit her. Miraculously, it's missed me. Bailey ended up sick last week with a nasty cough that turned into a mild ear infection. She's just now finishing up the antibiotics. I wonder if that kept her from getting Kelly's flu? Not sure what kept me from the flu. Hopefully my luck holds.
On Saturday night, we celebrated Valentine's Day a little early with a childless trip to the Melting Pot (our all-time favorite place to eat!). It's a fondue restaraunt and we had fiesta cheese (a spicy mexican cheese fondue) to start, followed by pork tenderloin and twin lobster tails and then finished off with a white and milk chocolate swirled fondue. The whole meal is an experience that takes about 2 1/2 hours (if you do it right and enjoy yourself). We had a wonderful, wonderful time just sitting together and talking. It's been a while since we could do that without one of us distracted by Bailey or without us having to do something else (dinner, picking up, making lunches, prepping bottles, going to bed).
It was wonderful...and something we'll do again.
So, while we were out, Bailey stayed with her unofficial third mother, Karen. Karen has been our hero and a constant presence in Bailey's life since she was conceived. Whenever we need some advice or someone to help, Karen has been here, without fail. So, it goes without saying that we were comfortable with her having Bailey for a couple of hours. Of course, we worried just like any new parents leaving their baby for the first time. We fussed over her and made sure she had way to much of everything. I think that probably went a little overboard by writing and signing a medical release...but you know...you never know!!!
Needless to say, Bailey had an absolutely fantastic time. She hung out with Karen and Karen's good friend Carol. There were three teenage girls around, lots of good music and tons of energy devoted to spoiling Bailey. B absolutely thrives in high-energy environments and had an amazing time. In fact, when we arrived, she barely acknowledged us (which is exactly what we want to see when you leave our Bailey).
Now that we've gotten our feet wet, you can bet that Kelly and I will have a few more date nights. It was so wonderful. And after 9 months, it was exactly what we needed.
Thank you, Karen, for making it possible and making us feel so comfortable. And for loving our Bailey so much.
Playing With The Camera
Dancing Girl
The World's Most Wonderful Valentine
What??
Dirty Girl
My Reason For Living
Deep Blue, Need-You Eyes
Our Dear, Dear Friends Monica & Susanne with Their Darling Baby, Danny
Tired, Tired Girl
Flying With Miss. Karen
Kelly was sick for most of last week. The awful flu that everyone seems to be getting hit her. Miraculously, it's missed me. Bailey ended up sick last week with a nasty cough that turned into a mild ear infection. She's just now finishing up the antibiotics. I wonder if that kept her from getting Kelly's flu? Not sure what kept me from the flu. Hopefully my luck holds.
On Saturday night, we celebrated Valentine's Day a little early with a childless trip to the Melting Pot (our all-time favorite place to eat!). It's a fondue restaraunt and we had fiesta cheese (a spicy mexican cheese fondue) to start, followed by pork tenderloin and twin lobster tails and then finished off with a white and milk chocolate swirled fondue. The whole meal is an experience that takes about 2 1/2 hours (if you do it right and enjoy yourself). We had a wonderful, wonderful time just sitting together and talking. It's been a while since we could do that without one of us distracted by Bailey or without us having to do something else (dinner, picking up, making lunches, prepping bottles, going to bed).
It was wonderful...and something we'll do again.
So, while we were out, Bailey stayed with her unofficial third mother, Karen. Karen has been our hero and a constant presence in Bailey's life since she was conceived. Whenever we need some advice or someone to help, Karen has been here, without fail. So, it goes without saying that we were comfortable with her having Bailey for a couple of hours. Of course, we worried just like any new parents leaving their baby for the first time. We fussed over her and made sure she had way to much of everything. I think that probably went a little overboard by writing and signing a medical release...but you know...you never know!!!
Needless to say, Bailey had an absolutely fantastic time. She hung out with Karen and Karen's good friend Carol. There were three teenage girls around, lots of good music and tons of energy devoted to spoiling Bailey. B absolutely thrives in high-energy environments and had an amazing time. In fact, when we arrived, she barely acknowledged us (which is exactly what we want to see when you leave our Bailey).
Now that we've gotten our feet wet, you can bet that Kelly and I will have a few more date nights. It was so wonderful. And after 9 months, it was exactly what we needed.
Thank you, Karen, for making it possible and making us feel so comfortable. And for loving our Bailey so much.
Playing With The Camera
Dancing Girl
The World's Most Wonderful Valentine
What??
Dirty Girl
My Reason For Living
Deep Blue, Need-You Eyes
Our Dear, Dear Friends Monica & Susanne with Their Darling Baby, Danny
Tired, Tired Girl
Flying With Miss. Karen
2/05/2008
She Speaks
Yes, it finally happened. Bailey spoke her first easily understandable, obviously associated words last night. She also took a step. But that was more of an accident.
In the bath last night, as she was laying back on her cushion and I was washing her hair, she reached up and touched my lips and said "Momma" three or four times. It was clear. She wasn't babbling "mamamamama"..it was a clear "Momma" then a pause. Then again. Then one more time. On the third one, she smiled.
I looked at Kelly, Kelly looked at me and I said, "Well, I think that qualifies as the first word, right?". She smiled that beautiful smile of hers and said, "I think so."
It's official.
The steps - I was just playing with B right before her bath. Kelly was sitting on the floor next to her. I stood her up, just because she's been doing that a lot on her own recently. She just stands there and does other stuff (like eating broccoli...another new thing). Anyway. I stood her up and she took a step forward. Just like she's been doing it her whole life.
Kelly and I again shared that incredulous look. That look that says, "shit...did you just see that???" She immediately dropped to her knees after that step and took off crawling...so we're not counting it as the first official walking steps...but she's closer. Much, much closer...
Go, B, go!
In the bath last night, as she was laying back on her cushion and I was washing her hair, she reached up and touched my lips and said "Momma" three or four times. It was clear. She wasn't babbling "mamamamama"..it was a clear "Momma" then a pause. Then again. Then one more time. On the third one, she smiled.
I looked at Kelly, Kelly looked at me and I said, "Well, I think that qualifies as the first word, right?". She smiled that beautiful smile of hers and said, "I think so."
It's official.
The steps - I was just playing with B right before her bath. Kelly was sitting on the floor next to her. I stood her up, just because she's been doing that a lot on her own recently. She just stands there and does other stuff (like eating broccoli...another new thing). Anyway. I stood her up and she took a step forward. Just like she's been doing it her whole life.
Kelly and I again shared that incredulous look. That look that says, "shit...did you just see that???" She immediately dropped to her knees after that step and took off crawling...so we're not counting it as the first official walking steps...but she's closer. Much, much closer...
Go, B, go!
2/04/2008
9 Month Checkup
B Bear had her 9 month check up this morning. Kelly very, very happily reported that she didn't have to have any shots today (none again until the 1 year). I usually do these appointments, but Kelly took her today...and didn't have to deal with shots! Go figure, huh?
Anyway - she's 22.5 pounds and 29 inches long. They say that she is going to be "big girl". She's gonna be tall. Her weight is plateuing, which is perfect and her height and head are both getting bigger. Just as it should be.
Developmentally, she is at or above all the milestones.
All in all, we have a very healthy little baby girl! Or big baby girl, as the case may be...LOL!
The only sad news is that her cold from last week has settled into her ears and she has a mild ear infection. Kelly picked up a prescription on her way to daycare and that should take care of it. Poor baby girl...
Anyway - she's 22.5 pounds and 29 inches long. They say that she is going to be "big girl". She's gonna be tall. Her weight is plateuing, which is perfect and her height and head are both getting bigger. Just as it should be.
Developmentally, she is at or above all the milestones.
All in all, we have a very healthy little baby girl! Or big baby girl, as the case may be...LOL!
The only sad news is that her cold from last week has settled into her ears and she has a mild ear infection. Kelly picked up a prescription on her way to daycare and that should take care of it. Poor baby girl...
1/31/2008
Poor Kitties
It never fails to make me laugh out loud whenever Bailey spots the kitties.
First, she spots them and squeals or makes some other loud sound and claps. Then she starts to crawl towards them, smiling the entire way. She gets just a few inches from them and they jump up and run away throwing dirty looks at her over their shoulders. She plops onto her bum and looks at us as if to say, "where'd they go?" This happens a gazillion times a day.
HYSTERICAL!
The funniest part of it all is that you can just tell when she is crawling and smiling that she is trying to charm them the way that everyone else is charmed by her sweet smile.
It never works. Poor girl.
First, she spots them and squeals or makes some other loud sound and claps. Then she starts to crawl towards them, smiling the entire way. She gets just a few inches from them and they jump up and run away throwing dirty looks at her over their shoulders. She plops onto her bum and looks at us as if to say, "where'd they go?" This happens a gazillion times a day.
HYSTERICAL!
The funniest part of it all is that you can just tell when she is crawling and smiling that she is trying to charm them the way that everyone else is charmed by her sweet smile.
It never works. Poor girl.
1/30/2008
Daily Joy
Life is so simple right now, in all of its complexity. I was thinking on the bus this morning that my life is very predictable. And full of all kinds of joy.
It's not very often that I recognize joy. I spent a lot of time agonizing over how things could be different (and by different, I always mean better). I find the one spot or couple of spots in my life that could be erased or changed and believe that if only those things were different, I would be a happier. It's not always the easiest way to live (for me or Kelly), but it's who I am and we work with it.
But on the bus this morning, I had an epiphany of sorts. I wasn't going to share it with anyone (including Kelly) but then I realized that this is the kind of stuff I need to write down. On those days when "everything sucks" I can look back and read this and remember...
I realize that spending time agonizing about my life is a luxury. It's reserved for those of us who get to make choices on a daily basis and who have the financial and emotional freedom to want for more. So many people just live the lives that they have to live in order to make ends meet or get through. I did that for a lot of years - I had to push myself through college on sheer will. But now, I have my degree, a good job, a stable relationship and a very healthy daughter. That alone would be enough, but I also have a beautiful home, great neighbors, two vehicles that run without problems, and the ability to give our daughter nice "things" that enhance her life and her development.
All of that would be perfect for many.
But I also have a relationship that has survived the test of time and so many things that could have torn us apart. I have the ability to be as healthy as I chose to be. I have a daughter who is as wonderfully smart and funny and beautiful as she is healthy. I have friends that would do anything for me. I have the freedom at work to develop and grow and push my professional development wherever I want to take it. I have a boss who is supportive of my life outside of work and a company that provides benefits that makes it easy to enjoy that life. I have a family who loves me unconditionally and beautiful places that we can take our daughter.
Most importantly, and truly at the core of all of this, I have myself and my ability to be me in this world. I am not inhibited by anything. I have a life partner, who is not just my wife in name, but in all aspects.
I am a lucky woman. I need to remember this. I don't know why I spend so much energy being a drama queen. I guess that is part of me and I will accept it. But I will also force myself to look away from my internal drama sometimes and just appreciate all that I have and all that I am grateful for.
It's not very often that I recognize joy. I spent a lot of time agonizing over how things could be different (and by different, I always mean better). I find the one spot or couple of spots in my life that could be erased or changed and believe that if only those things were different, I would be a happier. It's not always the easiest way to live (for me or Kelly), but it's who I am and we work with it.
But on the bus this morning, I had an epiphany of sorts. I wasn't going to share it with anyone (including Kelly) but then I realized that this is the kind of stuff I need to write down. On those days when "everything sucks" I can look back and read this and remember...
I realize that spending time agonizing about my life is a luxury. It's reserved for those of us who get to make choices on a daily basis and who have the financial and emotional freedom to want for more. So many people just live the lives that they have to live in order to make ends meet or get through. I did that for a lot of years - I had to push myself through college on sheer will. But now, I have my degree, a good job, a stable relationship and a very healthy daughter. That alone would be enough, but I also have a beautiful home, great neighbors, two vehicles that run without problems, and the ability to give our daughter nice "things" that enhance her life and her development.
All of that would be perfect for many.
But I also have a relationship that has survived the test of time and so many things that could have torn us apart. I have the ability to be as healthy as I chose to be. I have a daughter who is as wonderfully smart and funny and beautiful as she is healthy. I have friends that would do anything for me. I have the freedom at work to develop and grow and push my professional development wherever I want to take it. I have a boss who is supportive of my life outside of work and a company that provides benefits that makes it easy to enjoy that life. I have a family who loves me unconditionally and beautiful places that we can take our daughter.
Most importantly, and truly at the core of all of this, I have myself and my ability to be me in this world. I am not inhibited by anything. I have a life partner, who is not just my wife in name, but in all aspects.
I am a lucky woman. I need to remember this. I don't know why I spend so much energy being a drama queen. I guess that is part of me and I will accept it. But I will also force myself to look away from my internal drama sometimes and just appreciate all that I have and all that I am grateful for.
1/28/2008
Should Be Working...
I really shouldn't be taking the time to post, but I just have to share two very exciting developments in our little girl's life.
First, she walked this weekend for the first time. We are counting these as her first steps, even though she was using a walking toy at the time. They were her own, they were deliberate and they happened unassisted by us. Let me tell you the story.
We purchased this nifty little toy for Christmas that is a walker. It's on wheels and she can hold on to it and push it along while she is standing. It can also be converted to a little tricycle of sorts. Something she can sit on and push herself along. We've been keeping it propped against a wall, thinking that when she pulled herself up on it, she would face plant on the floor when it started to roll away (the wheels don't lock).
Well, on Saturday afternoon, she pulled it away from the wall. I was playing with her on the floor and figured, what the hell. I stood her up behind it and then let go of the toy so that it would start to move foward. Like a champion, she just took off!!!! She pushed it along for about 6 steps before it got going too fast and she fell. We grabbed the camera and got her next round (the video is below). In that video, I'm helping her some...but the first time was all her!!! Walking is so close and we can't wait!!!!
The other development this weekend wasn't so pleasant for her and was our first taste of what a really pissed off little girl sounds like in public.
Kelly and I decided on Sunday that we needed to buy Bailey a real stroller. We have a one that was given to us that is very nice, but it sits pretty low to the ground. Our little busy-body likes to see the world around her and interact with it, so she hasn't really taken to that stroller. Also, up until now, we've just put her in the front carrier. We like to have her close to us and we believe that she learns more when she's near us and listening to our conversations about what is around us. It's worked beautifully. And it still does. Except that now she is almost 23 pounds (this is an estimate) and she's damn heavy. She's also seriously interactive. The difference between a baby just hanging out on your chest and looking around and a baby who is waving and turning to look and playing and clapping and cheering and talking to everyond around her is HUGE! It absolutely hurts to carry her these days.
So we bought a stroller. A nice one. In fact, it's the same one that our good friends M & S use for thier little boy (quite successfully I might add!!!!).
So, off we troop to the mall (Bailey's favorite place in the world). We get there, we carry her in, we flip out our handy stroller, we put her in it and she looks at us with a look of complete disgust. Utter, total disgust.
She humored us for a few minutes. She sat there, craning around trying to find us behind her. She wimpered. She threw her arms out to be picked up. She cried. She thrust around.
Then, she seemed to get the clue that we were not going to rescue her. That we were going to leave her in the stroller-of-hell and continue on through the mall.
So, she proceeded to scream at the top of her lungs, complete with full body thrashing and huge crocodile tears. Boogers came streaming out her nose. When I went to wipe them, she calmed for about 2 seconds until she realized that I was going to wipe her nose and not take her. Then the real fit started.
Lordy, Kelly and I were embarrased!!! She was ridiculously loud!!! And the mall is a loud place to start. She drowned everyone out with her hysterics. People walked by and gave us THAT look. The look that said "why the hell aren't you comforting her".
We learned long ago that breaking Bailey is a battle of the wills and we were determined to win. So we continued our walk. We did a lap of the mall upstairs and a lap downstairs. We tried to pretend like it wasn't happening. We tried.
Finally, I broke. I couldn't take it anymore. I picked her up. Problem was at that point she was mad. And wanted to keep throwing her fit. I couldn't hold her safely because she was beating on me. So, I put her back in the chair. And the fit reached new heights.
At this point, I just started laughing. I know that is horrible, but it was funny. I mean, honestly! It's just a stroller!!!!! And she was so freakin' mad at us!!!
We hightailed it out of the mall at that point. We made it a half hour.
The best part is that once we were in the car and she calmed down (which happened as soon as the stroller was out of sight), I commented to Bailey "So, B Bear...you didn't like the stroller, huh?" And from the silent back seat, the girl GROWLED AT ME!!! She actually growled at me. LOL!!!! Dear God, it was hysterical!
Even funnier...Bailey won. Kelly and I are going to wait a couple of months to transition her out of the carrier.
*sigh*
First, she walked this weekend for the first time. We are counting these as her first steps, even though she was using a walking toy at the time. They were her own, they were deliberate and they happened unassisted by us. Let me tell you the story.
We purchased this nifty little toy for Christmas that is a walker. It's on wheels and she can hold on to it and push it along while she is standing. It can also be converted to a little tricycle of sorts. Something she can sit on and push herself along. We've been keeping it propped against a wall, thinking that when she pulled herself up on it, she would face plant on the floor when it started to roll away (the wheels don't lock).
Well, on Saturday afternoon, she pulled it away from the wall. I was playing with her on the floor and figured, what the hell. I stood her up behind it and then let go of the toy so that it would start to move foward. Like a champion, she just took off!!!! She pushed it along for about 6 steps before it got going too fast and she fell. We grabbed the camera and got her next round (the video is below). In that video, I'm helping her some...but the first time was all her!!! Walking is so close and we can't wait!!!!
The other development this weekend wasn't so pleasant for her and was our first taste of what a really pissed off little girl sounds like in public.
Kelly and I decided on Sunday that we needed to buy Bailey a real stroller. We have a one that was given to us that is very nice, but it sits pretty low to the ground. Our little busy-body likes to see the world around her and interact with it, so she hasn't really taken to that stroller. Also, up until now, we've just put her in the front carrier. We like to have her close to us and we believe that she learns more when she's near us and listening to our conversations about what is around us. It's worked beautifully. And it still does. Except that now she is almost 23 pounds (this is an estimate) and she's damn heavy. She's also seriously interactive. The difference between a baby just hanging out on your chest and looking around and a baby who is waving and turning to look and playing and clapping and cheering and talking to everyond around her is HUGE! It absolutely hurts to carry her these days.
So we bought a stroller. A nice one. In fact, it's the same one that our good friends M & S use for thier little boy (quite successfully I might add!!!!).
So, off we troop to the mall (Bailey's favorite place in the world). We get there, we carry her in, we flip out our handy stroller, we put her in it and she looks at us with a look of complete disgust. Utter, total disgust.
She humored us for a few minutes. She sat there, craning around trying to find us behind her. She wimpered. She threw her arms out to be picked up. She cried. She thrust around.
Then, she seemed to get the clue that we were not going to rescue her. That we were going to leave her in the stroller-of-hell and continue on through the mall.
So, she proceeded to scream at the top of her lungs, complete with full body thrashing and huge crocodile tears. Boogers came streaming out her nose. When I went to wipe them, she calmed for about 2 seconds until she realized that I was going to wipe her nose and not take her. Then the real fit started.
Lordy, Kelly and I were embarrased!!! She was ridiculously loud!!! And the mall is a loud place to start. She drowned everyone out with her hysterics. People walked by and gave us THAT look. The look that said "why the hell aren't you comforting her".
We learned long ago that breaking Bailey is a battle of the wills and we were determined to win. So we continued our walk. We did a lap of the mall upstairs and a lap downstairs. We tried to pretend like it wasn't happening. We tried.
Finally, I broke. I couldn't take it anymore. I picked her up. Problem was at that point she was mad. And wanted to keep throwing her fit. I couldn't hold her safely because she was beating on me. So, I put her back in the chair. And the fit reached new heights.
At this point, I just started laughing. I know that is horrible, but it was funny. I mean, honestly! It's just a stroller!!!!! And she was so freakin' mad at us!!!
We hightailed it out of the mall at that point. We made it a half hour.
The best part is that once we were in the car and she calmed down (which happened as soon as the stroller was out of sight), I commented to Bailey "So, B Bear...you didn't like the stroller, huh?" And from the silent back seat, the girl GROWLED AT ME!!! She actually growled at me. LOL!!!! Dear God, it was hysterical!
Even funnier...Bailey won. Kelly and I are going to wait a couple of months to transition her out of the carrier.
*sigh*
1/25/2008
Dancing and Her First Steps
It's been a while since I've posted about our B. She's doing really well. She goes through spurts of growth and development and then she just seems to stall out. Recently she's been a little stalled, but still moving forward.
The newest thing in B's life is music and dancing. Now, I guess we shouldn't be surprised - after all I posted about listening to bumpin' music while pregnant and how it would get rid of my morning sickness like nothing out. And she rocked while in utero. Literally - rocked back and forth.
Well, now, she outright dances. Her Mommy is really who started it. We have a CD player in the kitchen and at night, we put on kids music for her. We sing and play while she eating and I'm doing the dishes or making dinner. On the days that she is home with her Mommy, they started this ritual of standing in front of the radio and dancing around. Bailey throws her hand out and bounces up and down while waving her hands. We think it's really cute, so we've encouraged it. And not, it's taken off. She has these two Einstein music boxes that play full songs or just the individual instruments. She's learned how to get them started and then she'll sit back and sway side to side while waving her hands in the air. She actually gets a little hip twist going, so she's kind of bouncing all around. She'll do the same thing when she's standing up. While holding on to something to balance herself, she'll throw one hand out and then bounce her knees while throwing her hips back and forth. At some point we'll ge this on video. The problem is that she stops as soon as we bring the camera out.
We think our dancing girl is adorable!!!
We also think that she took her first steps. Now, I have to clarify and say that we are 100% certain that they were accidental and not in any way intended...so they don't count as the REAL first steps. However, she was holding on to the ottoman and wanted to be in my arms. I was sitting just out of reach so I put my arms out to encourage her into them. I was thinking she would just cruise along the ottoman until she got to where I could reach her. Instead, she took her hands off the ottoman and stood there shaky for a minute. As she started to fall forward, she "caught" herself by moving her feet forward. She took two steps and then fell into my arms!!!!
It was very, very exciting...even if it was accidental!
Other Bailey stuff - she's still sleeping through the night - about 12 hours at a stretch. At daycare she has started refusing her naps, so when we get there at 4 PM, she's one tired girl. She usually takes an hour nap or so and then gets up for another hour and half. Then it's bedtime, where she sleeps until morning. Some people seem amazed that she sleeps through the night...until I point out that she doesn't nap during the day. Or at least, not much. She needs the night time sleep!!!!
Her diet these days consists of formula, lots and lots of all different veggies, fruits (her favorites are blueberries and whole bananas), beans, ravioli, cherries, graham crackers and those little puffs. She loves, loves, loves to drink soy milk and she does it out of her sippy cup every night at dinner. She loves her soy milk!
Other than that, things are just status quo. We are all doing pretty well. Things are 100% busy all the time, but that is to be expected. This weekend, I'm going to a farewell party on Saturday evening for my coworker. It's at my bosses house. We were going to make it a date, but Kelly isn't feeling real comfortable with leaving Bailey...so she's going to stay at home with her while I go out. It'll be nice to get out for a while.
Here are the latest pictures of our little love!
The newest thing in B's life is music and dancing. Now, I guess we shouldn't be surprised - after all I posted about listening to bumpin' music while pregnant and how it would get rid of my morning sickness like nothing out. And she rocked while in utero. Literally - rocked back and forth.
Well, now, she outright dances. Her Mommy is really who started it. We have a CD player in the kitchen and at night, we put on kids music for her. We sing and play while she eating and I'm doing the dishes or making dinner. On the days that she is home with her Mommy, they started this ritual of standing in front of the radio and dancing around. Bailey throws her hand out and bounces up and down while waving her hands. We think it's really cute, so we've encouraged it. And not, it's taken off. She has these two Einstein music boxes that play full songs or just the individual instruments. She's learned how to get them started and then she'll sit back and sway side to side while waving her hands in the air. She actually gets a little hip twist going, so she's kind of bouncing all around. She'll do the same thing when she's standing up. While holding on to something to balance herself, she'll throw one hand out and then bounce her knees while throwing her hips back and forth. At some point we'll ge this on video. The problem is that she stops as soon as we bring the camera out.
We think our dancing girl is adorable!!!
We also think that she took her first steps. Now, I have to clarify and say that we are 100% certain that they were accidental and not in any way intended...so they don't count as the REAL first steps. However, she was holding on to the ottoman and wanted to be in my arms. I was sitting just out of reach so I put my arms out to encourage her into them. I was thinking she would just cruise along the ottoman until she got to where I could reach her. Instead, she took her hands off the ottoman and stood there shaky for a minute. As she started to fall forward, she "caught" herself by moving her feet forward. She took two steps and then fell into my arms!!!!
It was very, very exciting...even if it was accidental!
Other Bailey stuff - she's still sleeping through the night - about 12 hours at a stretch. At daycare she has started refusing her naps, so when we get there at 4 PM, she's one tired girl. She usually takes an hour nap or so and then gets up for another hour and half. Then it's bedtime, where she sleeps until morning. Some people seem amazed that she sleeps through the night...until I point out that she doesn't nap during the day. Or at least, not much. She needs the night time sleep!!!!
Her diet these days consists of formula, lots and lots of all different veggies, fruits (her favorites are blueberries and whole bananas), beans, ravioli, cherries, graham crackers and those little puffs. She loves, loves, loves to drink soy milk and she does it out of her sippy cup every night at dinner. She loves her soy milk!
Other than that, things are just status quo. We are all doing pretty well. Things are 100% busy all the time, but that is to be expected. This weekend, I'm going to a farewell party on Saturday evening for my coworker. It's at my bosses house. We were going to make it a date, but Kelly isn't feeling real comfortable with leaving Bailey...so she's going to stay at home with her while I go out. It'll be nice to get out for a while.
Here are the latest pictures of our little love!
1/23/2008
Rodney
Today, my brother would have been 31 years old. I miss him every day of my life and wish that he were around to meet Bailey. They would have loved each other.
Rodney - you're in my heart every day and I will always love you. You live on through us...and we live better because of you. Take care of yourself until we meet again.
Rodney - you're in my heart every day and I will always love you. You live on through us...and we live better because of you. Take care of yourself until we meet again.
1/20/2008
Mellow
This weekend has been mellow so far. Bailey has been in a pretty good mood. For a while, she was a little rough...but it turns out she was just tired. I popped her into the car to run an errand and she fell sound asleep. That was two hours ago. She's still sleeping.
God bless her for giving us a few hours to get stuff done.
Tomorrow is Monday and we both have the day off. Our daycare is still open and we are going to take Bailey in for a few hours in the morning. Kelly and I are going to spend time together...without the baby...for the first time since she was born!!!!!!
We can't have date nights...but we're gonna have a date day! I can't wait...
Not much new on the development front. B is really just doing her thing. Every day she comes up with new sounds, new ways to communicate. She is a crawling-master now and stands pretty much on her own. She is most comfortable, of course, if she is holding a finger...but she can stand for as long as 10 seconds without falling. She'll be walking soon.
Oops...I think I hear her! I'm gonna take her to the mall so that my love can watch the football games in peace!
God bless her for giving us a few hours to get stuff done.
Tomorrow is Monday and we both have the day off. Our daycare is still open and we are going to take Bailey in for a few hours in the morning. Kelly and I are going to spend time together...without the baby...for the first time since she was born!!!!!!
We can't have date nights...but we're gonna have a date day! I can't wait...
Not much new on the development front. B is really just doing her thing. Every day she comes up with new sounds, new ways to communicate. She is a crawling-master now and stands pretty much on her own. She is most comfortable, of course, if she is holding a finger...but she can stand for as long as 10 seconds without falling. She'll be walking soon.
Oops...I think I hear her! I'm gonna take her to the mall so that my love can watch the football games in peace!
1/17/2008
Lost In The Dreary
I'm lost in the dreary parts of my life right now. Bailey is at home today with the vomits. I can only call it that, because she's fine in all other aspects...except every time something goes into her mouth, it comes back out about 15 minutes later.
Gross.
Last night, she had a massive vomit explosion and we were cleaning it up and giving her a bath at 2AM. No fun. Except, it was kind of funny. She looked at me like, "what the hell, Momma???". I laughed at her. She was just happy to get the caked on vomit out of her hair.
Have I mentioned how gross formula vomit smells?
I'm kind of bluesy the last couple of days. I think it's just my period which is due to start in about a week. PMS cycles for me and this looks like an especially bad round. Work is overwhelming. Kelly is working just as hard as me, so we both come home exhausted and without much energy. At night we fall into bed and hold hands and talk, all the while knowing how tired we'll be when the alarm goes off. I don't think either of us cares, though. Sometimes, you've just got to lay with your love and drift away in conversation.
It's sleeting and raining outside. It snowed for a while. Bailey laughed when I took her out in it, but then it started to land on her eyelashes and she blinked a lot. It was really funny. The snow is now melting away with the rain and it looks cold and gray outside.
I can't wait for Kelly to get home. I need a hug. I love hugging her. I love the way that she smells. So very...Kelly. It smells like home to me.
I'm done rambling for today. Hopefully Bailey is feeling better tomorrow and I can get to work. I have too much to do for it to pile up...
Gross.
Last night, she had a massive vomit explosion and we were cleaning it up and giving her a bath at 2AM. No fun. Except, it was kind of funny. She looked at me like, "what the hell, Momma???". I laughed at her. She was just happy to get the caked on vomit out of her hair.
Have I mentioned how gross formula vomit smells?
I'm kind of bluesy the last couple of days. I think it's just my period which is due to start in about a week. PMS cycles for me and this looks like an especially bad round. Work is overwhelming. Kelly is working just as hard as me, so we both come home exhausted and without much energy. At night we fall into bed and hold hands and talk, all the while knowing how tired we'll be when the alarm goes off. I don't think either of us cares, though. Sometimes, you've just got to lay with your love and drift away in conversation.
It's sleeting and raining outside. It snowed for a while. Bailey laughed when I took her out in it, but then it started to land on her eyelashes and she blinked a lot. It was really funny. The snow is now melting away with the rain and it looks cold and gray outside.
I can't wait for Kelly to get home. I need a hug. I love hugging her. I love the way that she smells. So very...Kelly. It smells like home to me.
I'm done rambling for today. Hopefully Bailey is feeling better tomorrow and I can get to work. I have too much to do for it to pile up...
1/14/2008
Treadmill Time
This morning, I kicked off my New Year's resolution to lose 130 pounds in the next two years. Kelly and I are not going to diet - just be sensible. And I need to start exercising. I'm really quite strong and very lucky that weighing a little over 250 pounds hasn't stopped me from doing the things that I want to do. I can still be active with Bailey, my body healed remarkably quickly after a very, very difficult c-section, and I recovered from a rough pregnancy like a champion (I lost all my baby weight with her delivery plus five pounds.)
Now, it's time to actually focus and pull some weight off. My goal for now is simple - I want to weigh 225 pounds. That's 30 pounds to lose. I got on the treadmill this morning for 20 minutes. I know that it's not long, but it's better than going for longer and getting discouraged. I'll do 20 minutes this week and then 23 next week and then 26 the week after that. You get the picture. Slow and steady.
Here are some recent pictures of Bailey. She's doing so well - developing faster than we can keep up with her. Every day it's a new sound or a new motion or a new action. It's only a matter of time before the sounds coming out of her mouth are formed into actual words.
ACTUALLY - on that front - we think she's actually said "Mama" in relation to us. The other night, when she was ready to get out of her bath, she put her arms in the air and stared right at me and said "Mama", "Mama" while trying to stand up and get into my arms. Now, with that said, I don't think that she can differentiate between Kelly and I...but I do think that she identifies us with the word.
Time will tell.
Anyway - here are the pictures. She loves her blueberries...
Now, it's time to actually focus and pull some weight off. My goal for now is simple - I want to weigh 225 pounds. That's 30 pounds to lose. I got on the treadmill this morning for 20 minutes. I know that it's not long, but it's better than going for longer and getting discouraged. I'll do 20 minutes this week and then 23 next week and then 26 the week after that. You get the picture. Slow and steady.
Here are some recent pictures of Bailey. She's doing so well - developing faster than we can keep up with her. Every day it's a new sound or a new motion or a new action. It's only a matter of time before the sounds coming out of her mouth are formed into actual words.
ACTUALLY - on that front - we think she's actually said "Mama" in relation to us. The other night, when she was ready to get out of her bath, she put her arms in the air and stared right at me and said "Mama", "Mama" while trying to stand up and get into my arms. Now, with that said, I don't think that she can differentiate between Kelly and I...but I do think that she identifies us with the word.
Time will tell.
Anyway - here are the pictures. She loves her blueberries...
1/09/2008
Busy, busy, busy
The funny thing about having a blog is that when I don't post, I feel guilty. Honest-to-goodness guilt. As if you are all just sitting out there, waiting to go about your lives, while I do other things.
I laughed at myself this morning about this.
Anyway. Kelly and I are super, super busy right now. Between us, we are working nearly constantly - both of us working on our mornings home with Bailey and last night Kelly brought work home. We are both charting new territory at work, so the work is doublely difficult (we are inventing the wheel).
Meanwhile, Bailey is doing her thing. She is such a joy these days. We are so very much enjoying her. She's funny, sweet, responsive and engaged. The few temper tantrums that started to pop up, have subsided. She's demanding when she wants something and has figured out that her very loud voice can carry. We ignore her when she's like this. She's catching on.
Perhaps the sweetest thing right now is that she has figured out that she can make us laugh, and then our laughter makes her laugh...and then her laughing makes us laugh again! It's a wonderful cycle that turns into a gigglefest nightly. Another cute thing right now is that she loves to see Kelly and I kiss and hug one another. She watches us intently and when we kiss, she smiles and claps and sometimes giggles. It's seriously cute!!!
There is more going on, but I don't have time to write about it now. I have some work to finish up and B will wake up in the next hour or so.
Lordy - this is one hell of a life, isn't it??
I laughed at myself this morning about this.
Anyway. Kelly and I are super, super busy right now. Between us, we are working nearly constantly - both of us working on our mornings home with Bailey and last night Kelly brought work home. We are both charting new territory at work, so the work is doublely difficult (we are inventing the wheel).
Meanwhile, Bailey is doing her thing. She is such a joy these days. We are so very much enjoying her. She's funny, sweet, responsive and engaged. The few temper tantrums that started to pop up, have subsided. She's demanding when she wants something and has figured out that her very loud voice can carry. We ignore her when she's like this. She's catching on.
Perhaps the sweetest thing right now is that she has figured out that she can make us laugh, and then our laughter makes her laugh...and then her laughing makes us laugh again! It's a wonderful cycle that turns into a gigglefest nightly. Another cute thing right now is that she loves to see Kelly and I kiss and hug one another. She watches us intently and when we kiss, she smiles and claps and sometimes giggles. It's seriously cute!!!
There is more going on, but I don't have time to write about it now. I have some work to finish up and B will wake up in the next hour or so.
Lordy - this is one hell of a life, isn't it??
1/07/2008
Pinto Beans and Peas
So, what do you feed an 8 month old who won't eat anything that she can't pick up in her pincher grasp? If it comes on a spoon, a fork or from her fist, it's a non-starter. She'll just flat refuse to open her mouth. Not gonna do it...
Miss Independent is now eating pinto beans, black beans, peas, fresh fruit, freeze-dried fruit, puffs, and cheerios. This week she will try tofu, frozen blueberries, frozen mixed veggies (cooked of course) and maybe some other stuff.
Good lord. The girl is so independent!!!!
Miss Independent is now eating pinto beans, black beans, peas, fresh fruit, freeze-dried fruit, puffs, and cheerios. This week she will try tofu, frozen blueberries, frozen mixed veggies (cooked of course) and maybe some other stuff.
Good lord. The girl is so independent!!!!
1/02/2008
New Year
Well, the holidays are over and it's back to the usual grind. I love and hate this time of year in equal proportions.
I love taking down the holiday decorations and reclaiming our house. I love the start of a new year and all that promise that the new year holds. I love that it is winter and it finally starts to get actually cold in this part of the world. I love that the stores have something other than commercialized Christmas (which I absolutely love during December). I love playing with the new things that I got on Christmas day.
But, I hate getting back to work. It's nearly impossible to focus!!! I've spent the last month working on and off and really just doing what I wanted. I've left early, I've spent a lot more time with my loves. Now, it's back and everything is coming due and I'm busy and more than anything, I just want to go home!!!!!
Enough bitching.
This year is gonna be good. Kelly and I have big plans for ourselves and we intend to just enjoy what our life brings us. Bailey is our joy and this year is going to be so much fun as she learns to walk and starts to talk. Her first birthday is something we are eagerly anticipating and our first camping trip in the spring.
I think this year may be the best one ever...
I love taking down the holiday decorations and reclaiming our house. I love the start of a new year and all that promise that the new year holds. I love that it is winter and it finally starts to get actually cold in this part of the world. I love that the stores have something other than commercialized Christmas (which I absolutely love during December). I love playing with the new things that I got on Christmas day.
But, I hate getting back to work. It's nearly impossible to focus!!! I've spent the last month working on and off and really just doing what I wanted. I've left early, I've spent a lot more time with my loves. Now, it's back and everything is coming due and I'm busy and more than anything, I just want to go home!!!!!
Enough bitching.
This year is gonna be good. Kelly and I have big plans for ourselves and we intend to just enjoy what our life brings us. Bailey is our joy and this year is going to be so much fun as she learns to walk and starts to talk. Her first birthday is something we are eagerly anticipating and our first camping trip in the spring.
I think this year may be the best one ever...
1/01/2008
More Bailey Videos
Super, Super Cute Video (in her room that has been prepared for our little crawler!)
Bailey Playing in her Room
Bailey Close Up!
Bailey Playing in her Room
Bailey Close Up!
Christmas Day Videos
Christmas Day Fun 1
Christmas Day Fun 2
Christmas Day Fun 3
Playing With All Her New Toys...It's All So Overwhelming!!!
Christmas Day Fun 2
Christmas Day Fun 3
Playing With All Her New Toys...It's All So Overwhelming!!!
12/28/2007
Just Some Random Cuteness
Couple of very cute things that I wanted to point out -
1) Bailey mastered crawling this weekend!!!! She has it figured out finally and is not afraid to use her tricks to get where she wants to go and get what she wants. Currently, she's obsessed with the cat food. We're going to try to keep it out and just watch her and keep her from it. After all, the kitties need to eat too! Besides, it won't take too many bites of cat food for her to decide that it's not all that interesting anyway...
2) M&S got us a small tapestry with four kitties on it when they were in Peru. We hung it in our hallway upstairs. Every night, as we are leaving the bathroom with Bailey all swadled up from her bath, we stop and count the kitties and talk about the different colors of the kitties. Immediately after that, we count the three sheep that hang on her bedroom door (compliments of Grammie and Andrea!). Bailey loves this routine so much!!!
3) Finally - Bailey is really becoming extremely vocal these days. She just gabs on and on. She looks right at us sometimes and just talks and talks. She knows exactly what she is saying...we just don't understand it yet! It's amazing...
Christmas
Okay - well, I've tried to upload a bunch of videos and for whatever reason, I've not been able to make it work. I'll keep trying and eventually, I'll get it!
Christmas was wonderful!!! Our trip to West Virginia was nice - it was wonderful to see family and for Bailey to have some time with her Nana. We ended up making the drive there and back in one day, so we were exhausted by the time we actually got home. Bailey, of course, slept the entire way back home. We just didn't want to repeat the hotel nightmare that we had experienced in Hershey.
After that, it was just relaxing all weekend long. Sunday and Christmas Eve were spent just hanging out. We took Bailey out a couple of times and even braved the mall on Christmas Eve! Poor Bailey...she just gets so bored when she is stuck at home alone with us!
Our first Christmas Eve as parents was wonderful! When Santa came, he introduced himself (not that we needed an introduction) and congratulated us on such a beautiful daughter. He then proceeded to fill us in on the secret parent/santa code and how it all works once you have children. It was quite facinating and incredibly exciting!
After that, Kelly and I headed to bed. I was up super early the next morning but waited to get up until Kelly was ready. Actually - I woke her up before she was ready, but whatever. We had about an hour to do our stockings before Bailey woke up. In future years, we'll all do it together (or Bailey will get up before us and do hers), but this year was special.
Kelly has spent the last month hinting that something wonderful is going to happen for Christmas. She's dropped hints and left little clues. I've gotten more and more excited as Christmas has gotten closer.
In the bottom toe of my stocking, after reading an incredible love note (the details of which, I won't share...LOL), I found a beautiful five-stone diamond anniversary band. It is absolutely stunning and I am so happy!!! Kelly couldn't have picked a more perfect ring for me (it's exactly my style) and she couldn't have presented it in a better way. Thank you, honey...I love you!!!
Once Bailey finally woke up, we did our usual tradition of eating cinnomon rolls and orange juice before opening presents. Karen came over to share in the festivities of Bailey's first Christmas. And Bailey was a champ!!! She tore at the paper and kept at it until all the gifts were opened. There were a few times that she got overwhelmed and needed to be comforted...but over all, she did great!!! There was tons of stuff from us and from Santa, so it was a busy morning for her.
After presents were opened, B went down for a nap. She ended up sleeping for 3 1/2 hours!!!!! Talk about exhuasted! This, from a girl who doesn't nap...
The rest of the day we just relaxed and watched a movie and got ready for the week to begin. It was a lovely holiday!
Christmas was wonderful!!! Our trip to West Virginia was nice - it was wonderful to see family and for Bailey to have some time with her Nana. We ended up making the drive there and back in one day, so we were exhausted by the time we actually got home. Bailey, of course, slept the entire way back home. We just didn't want to repeat the hotel nightmare that we had experienced in Hershey.
After that, it was just relaxing all weekend long. Sunday and Christmas Eve were spent just hanging out. We took Bailey out a couple of times and even braved the mall on Christmas Eve! Poor Bailey...she just gets so bored when she is stuck at home alone with us!
Our first Christmas Eve as parents was wonderful! When Santa came, he introduced himself (not that we needed an introduction) and congratulated us on such a beautiful daughter. He then proceeded to fill us in on the secret parent/santa code and how it all works once you have children. It was quite facinating and incredibly exciting!
After that, Kelly and I headed to bed. I was up super early the next morning but waited to get up until Kelly was ready. Actually - I woke her up before she was ready, but whatever. We had about an hour to do our stockings before Bailey woke up. In future years, we'll all do it together (or Bailey will get up before us and do hers), but this year was special.
Kelly has spent the last month hinting that something wonderful is going to happen for Christmas. She's dropped hints and left little clues. I've gotten more and more excited as Christmas has gotten closer.
In the bottom toe of my stocking, after reading an incredible love note (the details of which, I won't share...LOL), I found a beautiful five-stone diamond anniversary band. It is absolutely stunning and I am so happy!!! Kelly couldn't have picked a more perfect ring for me (it's exactly my style) and she couldn't have presented it in a better way. Thank you, honey...I love you!!!
Once Bailey finally woke up, we did our usual tradition of eating cinnomon rolls and orange juice before opening presents. Karen came over to share in the festivities of Bailey's first Christmas. And Bailey was a champ!!! She tore at the paper and kept at it until all the gifts were opened. There were a few times that she got overwhelmed and needed to be comforted...but over all, she did great!!! There was tons of stuff from us and from Santa, so it was a busy morning for her.
After presents were opened, B went down for a nap. She ended up sleeping for 3 1/2 hours!!!!! Talk about exhuasted! This, from a girl who doesn't nap...
The rest of the day we just relaxed and watched a movie and got ready for the week to begin. It was a lovely holiday!
Tormenting Camryn (isn't Camryn sweet???)
With Aunt TT at Nana's house
Bailey really loves her Nana!
After Santa Visited
What is it???
It's a...It's a...hmmmm...what is it???
Hehehe...I am the Christmas DEVIL!
My Perfect Girls
The Ring
12/21/2007
Domestic Bliss
This morning, I was up at 4 AM. I made two pans of brownies (they were the ready-made kind, though), one pan of cookies (again...ready made), two pies (fully from scratch), and two loafs of banana bread (from scratch). After cleaning the kitchen for the last time and getting all the dishes washed, I took a look around.
The family room was sparkling...with Bailey's toy's piled neatly. The mantle was shining with Christmas lights and garland. The cards were hung along the columns. The Christmas tree was lit and looking so festive with all the packages surrounding the bottom. There was a the food that I had created for Kelly's party - all festively packaged and ready to go with green tissue paper and festive wrappings. The house was quiet and peaceful with Bailey still sleeping. It was clean and calm. I took a deep breath and realized that I felt a calm feeling that I hadn't felt in a very long time.
Domestic bliss doesn't happen often with a baby...but when it does, it's a wonderful feeling.
Then, I looked at the clock and realized it was only 7 AM. I made some more coffee. PHEW!!!
The family room was sparkling...with Bailey's toy's piled neatly. The mantle was shining with Christmas lights and garland. The cards were hung along the columns. The Christmas tree was lit and looking so festive with all the packages surrounding the bottom. There was a the food that I had created for Kelly's party - all festively packaged and ready to go with green tissue paper and festive wrappings. The house was quiet and peaceful with Bailey still sleeping. It was clean and calm. I took a deep breath and realized that I felt a calm feeling that I hadn't felt in a very long time.
Domestic bliss doesn't happen often with a baby...but when it does, it's a wonderful feeling.
Then, I looked at the clock and realized it was only 7 AM. I made some more coffee. PHEW!!!
12/20/2007
Sick...Again
I apologize for the delay in posting...Bailey came down with a bronchial infection that hit on Monday evening and I've been racing with time every since. Unfortunately, this was the worst possible week to need to be out of work...and Kelly couldn't help. She absolutely couldn't miss work. So, Bailey and I spent two very miserable days on Tuesday and Wednesday trying to get her better (there isn't much that could be done). Finally, today, I was back at work...but with three days worth of work to do.
I am scheduled off tomorrow...and while I probably shouldn't take the day, I'm going to! I need a day just to enjoy the holiday bustle.
Kelly's office Christmas party is tomorrow. They have a very fun event where everyone brings their children. It's potluck style. There will be almost 30 adults and close to 10 children present this year. We all sit around and eat and hang out and then play games. Of course, a Chinese gift exchange is done. We are giving chocolate covered pretzels. LOL - what else could we do with a $10 limit???
This is the first year that I will be at the party for the entire event. I usually go for lunch and then have to get back to work. Given that I took the day off to bring Bailey in, I'll be there for the entire event! I'm very much looking forward to it!
Tomorrow morning, I'm making a pecan and a pumpkin pie for our family gathering in West Virginia on Saturday. We have gifts for all the kids from Bailey and are very, very much looking forward to seeing little Camryn (Bailey's cousin that was born 3 weeks before her). Of course, we can't wait to see everyone else too...but especially Camryn!
We'll spend Saturday night in Morgantown (keep your fingers crossed that we don't have another hotel nightmare!!!) and then we're back home for a quiet and peaceful Christmas eve and Christmas day. Kelly has been especially mysterious about what Santa is bringing me this year, so I can't wait for Christmas morning!!! I think that it's gonna be good...
She always gives great surprises. I'm not so good at that part...but I try to be festive, so maybe that is my gift.
I promise lots of pictures of our holiday adventures and stories when we return! I expect that tomorrow will be crazy busy, and then we're off! Have a wonderful final weekend before Santa arrives!!!
I am scheduled off tomorrow...and while I probably shouldn't take the day, I'm going to! I need a day just to enjoy the holiday bustle.
Kelly's office Christmas party is tomorrow. They have a very fun event where everyone brings their children. It's potluck style. There will be almost 30 adults and close to 10 children present this year. We all sit around and eat and hang out and then play games. Of course, a Chinese gift exchange is done. We are giving chocolate covered pretzels. LOL - what else could we do with a $10 limit???
This is the first year that I will be at the party for the entire event. I usually go for lunch and then have to get back to work. Given that I took the day off to bring Bailey in, I'll be there for the entire event! I'm very much looking forward to it!
Tomorrow morning, I'm making a pecan and a pumpkin pie for our family gathering in West Virginia on Saturday. We have gifts for all the kids from Bailey and are very, very much looking forward to seeing little Camryn (Bailey's cousin that was born 3 weeks before her). Of course, we can't wait to see everyone else too...but especially Camryn!
We'll spend Saturday night in Morgantown (keep your fingers crossed that we don't have another hotel nightmare!!!) and then we're back home for a quiet and peaceful Christmas eve and Christmas day. Kelly has been especially mysterious about what Santa is bringing me this year, so I can't wait for Christmas morning!!! I think that it's gonna be good...
She always gives great surprises. I'm not so good at that part...but I try to be festive, so maybe that is my gift.
I promise lots of pictures of our holiday adventures and stories when we return! I expect that tomorrow will be crazy busy, and then we're off! Have a wonderful final weekend before Santa arrives!!!
12/17/2007
She Crawls
Yesterday is the official first day of Bailey's crawling career. She's been working so hard to get it figured out and we've been trying to give her lots of floor time (both with and without us). Last night, as I was folding clothes and Kelly was sifting through some work stuff, Bailey was playing on the floor. She really wanted to check out the heater vent (in our home, these don't get hot!). I was sort of watching her, but not really paying attention when I realized that she had actually crawled forward 4-5 paces! She was at the heater vent and quite proud of herself!!!
We've got all the thing we need to baby-proof. We've been working on it slowly, but steadily. Now it's time to finish it up.
B is also teething again. And she has a cold. We think the two go hand in hand. She's been sleeping alright, but it takes her a while to fall asleep. Every time she starts to drift off, she coughs and wakes herself up. Then she whines because she woke herself up. Then she drifts off. It's a wretched cycle.
Of course, because she's more tired and doesn't feel great, she wants me to hold her all night. She'll fall into her near-sleep state and I'll put her in her crib (we try not to hold her until she falls asleep). As soon as her head hits the crib, she's awake and pissed off that I would even think about leaving her. She has to cry herself to sleep.
Man, it sucks walking away from her. I know that it's for the best. She needs to learn to sleep on her own, and most importantly, to fall asleep on her own. But damn. It makes me feel horrible!!!!! Especially because she is so warm and snuggly and droopy...LOL!
On a funnier note - I was wrapping a christmas gift yesterday and Bailey was "helping". She was so excited about the wrapping paper as I was pulling it off the roll that she went all rigid and just shook and screamed.
I haven't laughed that hard in a while!
We spent some time this weekend with our dear friends Monica and Susanne and Danny. I just have to say, once again, that Danny is such a sweet little boy!!!! Oh my lord. Bailey is sweet - sweet when she smiles at you, sweet when she giggles. But when Bailey gets excited, she slams her arms around, screams, tries to yank your glasses off, head bangs. LOL - she's anything but gentle, in other words. Danny, on the the other hand, is just as snuggly as teddy bear and so cute it hurts. He's got the sweetest little smile and his eyes are so expressive!
Anyway - I really enjoyed spending some time with them - both to catch up with some adults and to have some time enjoying another infant!!! Thanks, M&S, for hosting!
I think that is it for now. It's going to be a long week. There is lots to do at work, Kelly is absolutely swamped at her job and I'm on Bailey duty for the drop off and pick up all week. But, I am taking Friday off, and we get Monday and Tuesday off...so it'll be a nice long weekend.
I can't wait for Santa!!!
We've got all the thing we need to baby-proof. We've been working on it slowly, but steadily. Now it's time to finish it up.
B is also teething again. And she has a cold. We think the two go hand in hand. She's been sleeping alright, but it takes her a while to fall asleep. Every time she starts to drift off, she coughs and wakes herself up. Then she whines because she woke herself up. Then she drifts off. It's a wretched cycle.
Of course, because she's more tired and doesn't feel great, she wants me to hold her all night. She'll fall into her near-sleep state and I'll put her in her crib (we try not to hold her until she falls asleep). As soon as her head hits the crib, she's awake and pissed off that I would even think about leaving her. She has to cry herself to sleep.
Man, it sucks walking away from her. I know that it's for the best. She needs to learn to sleep on her own, and most importantly, to fall asleep on her own. But damn. It makes me feel horrible!!!!! Especially because she is so warm and snuggly and droopy...LOL!
On a funnier note - I was wrapping a christmas gift yesterday and Bailey was "helping". She was so excited about the wrapping paper as I was pulling it off the roll that she went all rigid and just shook and screamed.
I haven't laughed that hard in a while!
We spent some time this weekend with our dear friends Monica and Susanne and Danny. I just have to say, once again, that Danny is such a sweet little boy!!!! Oh my lord. Bailey is sweet - sweet when she smiles at you, sweet when she giggles. But when Bailey gets excited, she slams her arms around, screams, tries to yank your glasses off, head bangs. LOL - she's anything but gentle, in other words. Danny, on the the other hand, is just as snuggly as teddy bear and so cute it hurts. He's got the sweetest little smile and his eyes are so expressive!
Anyway - I really enjoyed spending some time with them - both to catch up with some adults and to have some time enjoying another infant!!! Thanks, M&S, for hosting!
I think that is it for now. It's going to be a long week. There is lots to do at work, Kelly is absolutely swamped at her job and I'm on Bailey duty for the drop off and pick up all week. But, I am taking Friday off, and we get Monday and Tuesday off...so it'll be a nice long weekend.
I can't wait for Santa!!!
12/12/2007
Holiday Happiness
It's been far to long since my last Top 10 List...so here goes:
The Ten Things About Christmas that Make Me the Happiest This Year
10) Watching random people in the city walk by with Santa hats on their heads.
9) Laughing at the people who sing Christmas carols loudly as if nobody can hear them (I'm one of these people).
8) All of the lights, wreaths, strings of garland and holiday music that is just everywhere!
7) Being at the mall to entertain Bailey and laughing at the frantic shopping that is taking place, knowing that I got all of mine done two weeks ago.
6) Finally, finally being done with our Christmas cards and having the satisfaction of knowing that even having a new baby didn't keep us from our annual homemade card tradition.
5) Thinking about Christmas morning with a hot cup of coffee, some fresh baked cinnamon rolls, my stuffed stocking and sitting with Bailey while she plays with the paper and we try to encourage her to play with her gifts.
4) Knowing that I'll be spending at least a few days of this holiday season surrounded by my in-law side of the family and enjoying the craziness that comes with lots of people, a couple of kids and christmas presents.
3) Turning the Christmas tree on at 4:30 every morning and enjoying the way that the lights bounce off our hardwood floors.
2) The super-huge, corporate Christmas bonus that will help drag us out of the debt created by creating Bailey.
And finally...the number one joy for me this Christmas....
1) The traditions that Kelly and I hold so dear that will one day be so important to Bailey one day.
The Ten Things About Christmas that Make Me the Happiest This Year
10) Watching random people in the city walk by with Santa hats on their heads.
9) Laughing at the people who sing Christmas carols loudly as if nobody can hear them (I'm one of these people).
8) All of the lights, wreaths, strings of garland and holiday music that is just everywhere!
7) Being at the mall to entertain Bailey and laughing at the frantic shopping that is taking place, knowing that I got all of mine done two weeks ago.
6) Finally, finally being done with our Christmas cards and having the satisfaction of knowing that even having a new baby didn't keep us from our annual homemade card tradition.
5) Thinking about Christmas morning with a hot cup of coffee, some fresh baked cinnamon rolls, my stuffed stocking and sitting with Bailey while she plays with the paper and we try to encourage her to play with her gifts.
4) Knowing that I'll be spending at least a few days of this holiday season surrounded by my in-law side of the family and enjoying the craziness that comes with lots of people, a couple of kids and christmas presents.
3) Turning the Christmas tree on at 4:30 every morning and enjoying the way that the lights bounce off our hardwood floors.
2) The super-huge, corporate Christmas bonus that will help drag us out of the debt created by creating Bailey.
And finally...the number one joy for me this Christmas....
1) The traditions that Kelly and I hold so dear that will one day be so important to Bailey one day.
12/10/2007
Uncharted Territory
I have never, ever known a love like this. Ever.
I love Kelly from the deepest parts of my heart. I would die for her if that meant that I could save her life. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for her. There is no limit to the love that I have, and it's 10 years strong.
But the love that I feel for Bailey has no equal.
For the the first 6 months of Bailey's life, I didn't feel love like this. I am now educated enough about the effects of post partum to know that my lack of deep connection to Bailey was not my fault. It took me three months to seek help, but when I did, things started to heal. It took three months for the post partum to stop and I have now been without Prozac for 4 weeks.
Clarity has come about quite a bit. The biggest piece of clarity is about my relationship with Kelly. In a word, I was so jealous. Jealous of Bailey and the love that I saw her getting from Kelly.
It sounds horrible, even to me...and I now understand it. It is another part of our story, though, and one that I'm not willing to hide from. I didn't understand what Kelly was feeling when Bailey was born, because I wasn't able to feel much of anything. I was numb. Kelly was feeling what I am now lucky enough to feel.
If you're a parent, you're probably nodding and understanding without my description what I am about to say. I can now understand what people were talking about when they said it was all worth it. I can understand what it feels like to have everything else in my life come after Bailey. I miss her when I'm not with her and the kind of joy that I feel when I am with her is unequaled. Honestly, I've never felt this way. Ever.
Let me paint a picture for you so that maybe you can understand the journey to this point.
When Bailey was born, I was sick. Not just postpartum sick - but actually physically sick. I had lost nearly 2/3 of the blood in my body. My birth experience was NOTHING like I had wanted it to be. I was unable to breast feed. Bailey was huge and holding her for hours hurt so bad. I was weak, I was constantly tired from the lack of blood and the lack of sleep. I was confused because I never felt that rush of love that every mother talks about. I honestly believed that I was a failure - because I couldn't have a vaginal birth, because I couldn't breast feed, because I couldn't stop Bailey from crying...but mostly because I couldn't shake the thought that I had made the worst mistake of my life. We were alone. We had no family around to help us. Kelly was trying to care of me, care of a newborn and prepare herself to go back to work after three weeks. We didn't eat properly, we didn't sleep properly and just when things started to even out a little, Bailey developed colic. When Kelly went back to work, I was alone with Bailey. All day long. I was still weak from my surgery and loss of blood. I was loopy from the pain killers that I was still on. I was constipated from the massive doses of iron that they kept me on to help replenish my blood loss. Bailey was miserable and in pain and nothing that I did could help. When Kelly got home, she was immediately thrown into dealing with me and caring for Bailey. We had no time to just be in peace. We had nobody to come over and take Bailey for a few hours to let us reconnect. We were getting very little feedback from anyone about how we were doing, because we didn't have anyone around. Our relationship suffered from lack of care, from the frustration we were both feeling with our inability to cope and from my inability to adjust to our new world. I constantly felt trapped, scared, alone and more often than not, I hated that I had become a parent.
And this went on for three months without reprieve. Without a break. Without stopping. Without even the slightest indication from internal or external sources that it would somehow, some day, feel different.
Worse yet, we were one of a set of three in our area that had children within the same time period. Our friend, Olivia, had given birth 10 weeks prior. And her birth experience was anything but easy. And yet, she seemed to love her child, love parenting and be acclimating like a champion. 6 weeks afer Bailey was born, our dear friends Monica and Susanne welcomed their child into the world. And again, we watched as they breastfed without problem and turned their lives into a wonderful place for their son.
Even worse still, my brother and his wife had a child. My sister-in-law and her husband welcomed their daughter. Both families seemed relatively unscathed by the adjustments, even when it was difficult.
Now, I am not stupid enough to believe that it was easy for anyone. It is always a huge transition to bring a child into a family. But none of them seemed to hate their child. They would all talk about how it was tough...but worth it. I saw the couples pulling together to make it work, rather than pulling away from each other. I listened as each told me about the family they had coming over or flying in to help out.
And I compared myself and just sunk deeper. Daily, I had to watch my wife fall in love with our child and I had to wonder what the hell was wrong with me. Why did I want to cry with relief when she was taken from my arms? Why did I sob at night while I was holding her and trying to sing her to sleep? Why did the touch of her hands or the sound of her cries make me cringe? Why did every dream I had of my birth experience and her infancy prove to be false? Why did my wife never look at me? Why was I all alone?
And the biggest question of all...the unanswerable question that left me contemplating suicide one morning...how could I make this stop?
Turns out human beings can only take so much before they crack under it all, and I cracked. I broke apart into tiny shards of the person that I was and lost my fucking mind for a while.
Meanwhile, it still never stopped. I have never felt so hopeless in my entire life.
I can understand a lot now. Kelly never stopped seeing me...but she could only carry so much. She was working full time, learning how to be a mother for the first time, carrying the entire load of my emotional baggage. She was tired. Like I just said, one person can only carry so much. She rightly chose to carry Bailey. And all that failure I was feeling was a chemical imbalance created by pregnancy hormones. I can see that now. I can understand now. But, boy, I didn't understand then.
It's taken about 4 months - but I am well on my way to healed. Kelly and I are doing okay. We've survived a lot in our love and we survived this too. And as for Bailey, well...it seems that while I might have thought I was fucking her up...I was wrong. She's a wonderful, smart, affectionate child. I wish that everyone could know her as we do. And as for me...well, things are better. Not perfect...but then, they never were. I can thrive with a little too much stress and a bit to little sleep.
I can finally say that as difficult as some days are, I wouldn't trade my life for anything. I can finally say that with my heart...not just my mouth.
I love Kelly from the deepest parts of my heart. I would die for her if that meant that I could save her life. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for her. There is no limit to the love that I have, and it's 10 years strong.
But the love that I feel for Bailey has no equal.
For the the first 6 months of Bailey's life, I didn't feel love like this. I am now educated enough about the effects of post partum to know that my lack of deep connection to Bailey was not my fault. It took me three months to seek help, but when I did, things started to heal. It took three months for the post partum to stop and I have now been without Prozac for 4 weeks.
Clarity has come about quite a bit. The biggest piece of clarity is about my relationship with Kelly. In a word, I was so jealous. Jealous of Bailey and the love that I saw her getting from Kelly.
It sounds horrible, even to me...and I now understand it. It is another part of our story, though, and one that I'm not willing to hide from. I didn't understand what Kelly was feeling when Bailey was born, because I wasn't able to feel much of anything. I was numb. Kelly was feeling what I am now lucky enough to feel.
If you're a parent, you're probably nodding and understanding without my description what I am about to say. I can now understand what people were talking about when they said it was all worth it. I can understand what it feels like to have everything else in my life come after Bailey. I miss her when I'm not with her and the kind of joy that I feel when I am with her is unequaled. Honestly, I've never felt this way. Ever.
Let me paint a picture for you so that maybe you can understand the journey to this point.
When Bailey was born, I was sick. Not just postpartum sick - but actually physically sick. I had lost nearly 2/3 of the blood in my body. My birth experience was NOTHING like I had wanted it to be. I was unable to breast feed. Bailey was huge and holding her for hours hurt so bad. I was weak, I was constantly tired from the lack of blood and the lack of sleep. I was confused because I never felt that rush of love that every mother talks about. I honestly believed that I was a failure - because I couldn't have a vaginal birth, because I couldn't breast feed, because I couldn't stop Bailey from crying...but mostly because I couldn't shake the thought that I had made the worst mistake of my life. We were alone. We had no family around to help us. Kelly was trying to care of me, care of a newborn and prepare herself to go back to work after three weeks. We didn't eat properly, we didn't sleep properly and just when things started to even out a little, Bailey developed colic. When Kelly went back to work, I was alone with Bailey. All day long. I was still weak from my surgery and loss of blood. I was loopy from the pain killers that I was still on. I was constipated from the massive doses of iron that they kept me on to help replenish my blood loss. Bailey was miserable and in pain and nothing that I did could help. When Kelly got home, she was immediately thrown into dealing with me and caring for Bailey. We had no time to just be in peace. We had nobody to come over and take Bailey for a few hours to let us reconnect. We were getting very little feedback from anyone about how we were doing, because we didn't have anyone around. Our relationship suffered from lack of care, from the frustration we were both feeling with our inability to cope and from my inability to adjust to our new world. I constantly felt trapped, scared, alone and more often than not, I hated that I had become a parent.
And this went on for three months without reprieve. Without a break. Without stopping. Without even the slightest indication from internal or external sources that it would somehow, some day, feel different.
Worse yet, we were one of a set of three in our area that had children within the same time period. Our friend, Olivia, had given birth 10 weeks prior. And her birth experience was anything but easy. And yet, she seemed to love her child, love parenting and be acclimating like a champion. 6 weeks afer Bailey was born, our dear friends Monica and Susanne welcomed their child into the world. And again, we watched as they breastfed without problem and turned their lives into a wonderful place for their son.
Even worse still, my brother and his wife had a child. My sister-in-law and her husband welcomed their daughter. Both families seemed relatively unscathed by the adjustments, even when it was difficult.
Now, I am not stupid enough to believe that it was easy for anyone. It is always a huge transition to bring a child into a family. But none of them seemed to hate their child. They would all talk about how it was tough...but worth it. I saw the couples pulling together to make it work, rather than pulling away from each other. I listened as each told me about the family they had coming over or flying in to help out.
And I compared myself and just sunk deeper. Daily, I had to watch my wife fall in love with our child and I had to wonder what the hell was wrong with me. Why did I want to cry with relief when she was taken from my arms? Why did I sob at night while I was holding her and trying to sing her to sleep? Why did the touch of her hands or the sound of her cries make me cringe? Why did every dream I had of my birth experience and her infancy prove to be false? Why did my wife never look at me? Why was I all alone?
And the biggest question of all...the unanswerable question that left me contemplating suicide one morning...how could I make this stop?
Turns out human beings can only take so much before they crack under it all, and I cracked. I broke apart into tiny shards of the person that I was and lost my fucking mind for a while.
Meanwhile, it still never stopped. I have never felt so hopeless in my entire life.
I can understand a lot now. Kelly never stopped seeing me...but she could only carry so much. She was working full time, learning how to be a mother for the first time, carrying the entire load of my emotional baggage. She was tired. Like I just said, one person can only carry so much. She rightly chose to carry Bailey. And all that failure I was feeling was a chemical imbalance created by pregnancy hormones. I can see that now. I can understand now. But, boy, I didn't understand then.
It's taken about 4 months - but I am well on my way to healed. Kelly and I are doing okay. We've survived a lot in our love and we survived this too. And as for Bailey, well...it seems that while I might have thought I was fucking her up...I was wrong. She's a wonderful, smart, affectionate child. I wish that everyone could know her as we do. And as for me...well, things are better. Not perfect...but then, they never were. I can thrive with a little too much stress and a bit to little sleep.
I can finally say that as difficult as some days are, I wouldn't trade my life for anything. I can finally say that with my heart...not just my mouth.
12/07/2007
12/06/2007
Moments Like This
I have these moments when I rush into the childcare center and race down the hall and scramble to put my shoe booties on and dart into Bailey's classroom just so that I scoop her up and smell her. I bury my nose in her neck and smell her sweet baby girl smell and everything is perfect.
This afternoon when I got her she smiled the sweetest, most gentle smile and put her hands on each of my cheeks and pulled my face to hers. She put her lips on mine and then pulled back and smiled. She did that four times. On the fourth baby kiss, I couldn't help the tears that welled up in my eyes.
I am so blessed.
This afternoon when I got her she smiled the sweetest, most gentle smile and put her hands on each of my cheeks and pulled my face to hers. She put her lips on mine and then pulled back and smiled. She did that four times. On the fourth baby kiss, I couldn't help the tears that welled up in my eyes.
I am so blessed.
Miss. Babbling Independence
It's official. Bailey is going through her first "independence" stage. She pushes you away when you hold her too close for too long. She wants to be carried face out so that she can see her world. She hates it when things are done for her. She doesn't want to be fed, she want to pick up her food on her own and eat it. She's not mastered the forward crawl yet, but she can get anywhere she wants to go using other methods. She can take herself from a laying position to a sitting position to on her hands and knees and then back again all by herself.
She is Miss. Independence. She's got this covered, thank you very much.
The funniest thing is that she asserts her rights to be her own person in the funniest ways. If she doesn't like something that is happening to her, she doesn't outright try to stop you. She is subversive. For instance - she hates it when I put lotion on her face after her bath. Well, rather than just try to bat my hands away (which would be the obvious thing to do), she pulls her feet to her mouth and chews on her toes, creating a nearly impossible obstacle to get around. And amazingly, as soon as I'm done trying to lotion her face, her feet hold no more interest for her. Subversive. And smart. She's definitely smart.
She's also become an excessive babbler. She makes all kinds of sounds and they are flowing out of her mouth in a near constant stream. She makes sounds that sound sound like "okay", "mama", "no", and "all done". And of course, there are lots of sounds that just sound like sounds. It's funny because she's learning about how to use tone and emphasis in her use of language. When she's looking at something new, the sounds that come out of her mouth sound questioning and full of confusion. When she doesn't want something anymore, she sounds determined (or frustrated...LOL). When she's happy, she blends her sounds with squeals and hand clapping. A couple of times now, Kelly and I have just stared in wonder as she has an entire conversation with herself or her toys. We don't understand her, but it's clear that she is "talking" rather than just making noise.
It's incredible to watch her grow like this. Absolutely incredible.
She is Miss. Independence. She's got this covered, thank you very much.
The funniest thing is that she asserts her rights to be her own person in the funniest ways. If she doesn't like something that is happening to her, she doesn't outright try to stop you. She is subversive. For instance - she hates it when I put lotion on her face after her bath. Well, rather than just try to bat my hands away (which would be the obvious thing to do), she pulls her feet to her mouth and chews on her toes, creating a nearly impossible obstacle to get around. And amazingly, as soon as I'm done trying to lotion her face, her feet hold no more interest for her. Subversive. And smart. She's definitely smart.
She's also become an excessive babbler. She makes all kinds of sounds and they are flowing out of her mouth in a near constant stream. She makes sounds that sound sound like "okay", "mama", "no", and "all done". And of course, there are lots of sounds that just sound like sounds. It's funny because she's learning about how to use tone and emphasis in her use of language. When she's looking at something new, the sounds that come out of her mouth sound questioning and full of confusion. When she doesn't want something anymore, she sounds determined (or frustrated...LOL). When she's happy, she blends her sounds with squeals and hand clapping. A couple of times now, Kelly and I have just stared in wonder as she has an entire conversation with herself or her toys. We don't understand her, but it's clear that she is "talking" rather than just making noise.
It's incredible to watch her grow like this. Absolutely incredible.
12/04/2007
My Message to Kelly
I know that in the last year or so, things have been more difficult than they have been at other times in our relationship. I know that I've been really antsy lately and that you take the brunt of my frustration. I know that I've been short and snippy and bitchy and sometimes just rude. I know that there are some things I wish I could take back, some words I wish I could unsay and some nights I wish I could just shut myself up.
What I want you to know is that my antsiness, my need to shake the cage of my life is not about you. You are not the problem. You are my love, my heart and my soul. I couldn't be Mikki without you and I wouldn't even want to try.
I'm just finding myself again. I thought that being a mother was going to seal the deal for me. That I would find the truth that I had been seeking for so long and that I would never want for anything again. As with everything with this experience of parenting, I was wrong. I am still seeking. What you never, ever have to worry about is that I'm seeking something other than you. I'm not. I love you. It is as simple and as complex as that.
I will find my connection again. I will keep looking until I've found that loud crazy outlet that allows my voice to be heard again. Perhaps it's that becoming a mother has brought me back to understanding my feminist roots. Maybe it's that I'm finally feeling a passion again that I haven't felt since my early college years when I shaved my head and tried to change the world. The world has changed around me. The dynamic has changed and my options are all different.
Be patient with me. I know that a lot of this is unfair to you. I know that you wish I were a little more calm, a little more settled. Someday, maybe I will be. For now, I'm doing the only thing I know to do. I'm stumbling along this path of our life, loving you and our child and creating myself.
What I want you to know is that my antsiness, my need to shake the cage of my life is not about you. You are not the problem. You are my love, my heart and my soul. I couldn't be Mikki without you and I wouldn't even want to try.
I'm just finding myself again. I thought that being a mother was going to seal the deal for me. That I would find the truth that I had been seeking for so long and that I would never want for anything again. As with everything with this experience of parenting, I was wrong. I am still seeking. What you never, ever have to worry about is that I'm seeking something other than you. I'm not. I love you. It is as simple and as complex as that.
I will find my connection again. I will keep looking until I've found that loud crazy outlet that allows my voice to be heard again. Perhaps it's that becoming a mother has brought me back to understanding my feminist roots. Maybe it's that I'm finally feeling a passion again that I haven't felt since my early college years when I shaved my head and tried to change the world. The world has changed around me. The dynamic has changed and my options are all different.
Be patient with me. I know that a lot of this is unfair to you. I know that you wish I were a little more calm, a little more settled. Someday, maybe I will be. For now, I'm doing the only thing I know to do. I'm stumbling along this path of our life, loving you and our child and creating myself.
12/03/2007
Snowin' in Maine
My mom tells me that it is snowing in Maine right now. I purposely have kept the news off, not wanting to hear about the winter weather that is sweeping across the nation, but just missing DC. We are getting rain. Cold December rain.
If you've never lived in a place where it snows regularly, you have no idea what I'm missing. I miss the silence of newly fallen snow. I miss the crisp whiteness that makes your eyes water. I miss the smell. The smell of the air before it snows and the smell of the snow on the ground. I miss the way that a vast expanse of unbroken snow looks. I miss driving down the road after a fresh snow and seeing snow mobile tracks in the fields beside the road. I miss the way that the birds fling the snow around, and their little tracks that they make on the railings.
I miss bundling up too much and then unwinding my scarf and feeling the cold on my cheeks. I miss the way that hot chocolate or hot coffee tastes when it is being sipped in truly cold air. I miss the silly snowmen that little kids build. I miss trying to make snowballs when the snow is really just powder. I miss shoveling the snow and how it never fails to amaze me just how much work shoveling really is. I miss driving in the snowstorms with Andrea. That wonderful sense of danger (are we going to slide off the road???) blended perfectly with the comfort that if anyone can drive well in snow, it's Andrea.
I miss how perfectly cozy snow days feel. I miss the little gift that mother nature gives you when a foot and a half of snow falls on a Sunday night through mid-day on Monday. I miss the way that cars start to venture out in the afternoon and the water browness of the roads. I miss navigating the sidewalks before everyone has gotten out to shovel and the icy little trails that are made in the snow by many feet traversing the same place.
I miss red cardinals and the incredibly festive feeling of looking at Christmas lights through fresh snow. I miss my mom and my brothers and the way that we used to play in the snow when we were kids. I miss making snow angels and I so sad that Bailey will have such a different perspective of snow.
It is not often that I miss my birth home. Not often that I wish I were still in Maine. But today, I do. Today, it is snowing there and raining here...and I'd rather be there.
If you've never lived in a place where it snows regularly, you have no idea what I'm missing. I miss the silence of newly fallen snow. I miss the crisp whiteness that makes your eyes water. I miss the smell. The smell of the air before it snows and the smell of the snow on the ground. I miss the way that a vast expanse of unbroken snow looks. I miss driving down the road after a fresh snow and seeing snow mobile tracks in the fields beside the road. I miss the way that the birds fling the snow around, and their little tracks that they make on the railings.
I miss bundling up too much and then unwinding my scarf and feeling the cold on my cheeks. I miss the way that hot chocolate or hot coffee tastes when it is being sipped in truly cold air. I miss the silly snowmen that little kids build. I miss trying to make snowballs when the snow is really just powder. I miss shoveling the snow and how it never fails to amaze me just how much work shoveling really is. I miss driving in the snowstorms with Andrea. That wonderful sense of danger (are we going to slide off the road???) blended perfectly with the comfort that if anyone can drive well in snow, it's Andrea.
I miss how perfectly cozy snow days feel. I miss the little gift that mother nature gives you when a foot and a half of snow falls on a Sunday night through mid-day on Monday. I miss the way that cars start to venture out in the afternoon and the water browness of the roads. I miss navigating the sidewalks before everyone has gotten out to shovel and the icy little trails that are made in the snow by many feet traversing the same place.
I miss red cardinals and the incredibly festive feeling of looking at Christmas lights through fresh snow. I miss my mom and my brothers and the way that we used to play in the snow when we were kids. I miss making snow angels and I so sad that Bailey will have such a different perspective of snow.
It is not often that I miss my birth home. Not often that I wish I were still in Maine. But today, I do. Today, it is snowing there and raining here...and I'd rather be there.
11/30/2007
This Sums It Up...
Sleigh bells ringing,
Choir singing,
Wonder what old Santa's bringing
It's the warm and fuzzy time of year
Snowflakes fall
The temp is dropping
Families out together shoppin'
It's the warm and fuzzy time of year
Elves are working over time
Making all our toys
Reindeer hooves on all the roofs
Of good little girls and boys
Big old cups of steamy cider
Fall asleep by a cozy fire
It's the warm and fuzzy time of year
Elves are working over time
Making all our toys
Reindeer hooves on all the roofs
Of good little girls and boys
Big old cups of steamy cider
Fall asleep by a cozy fire
It's the warm and fuzzy time of year
It's the warm and fuzzy time of year
Santa's on his way...
(I love how Billy Gilman has managed to wrap music around the feeling of the holidays!)
Choir singing,
Wonder what old Santa's bringing
It's the warm and fuzzy time of year
Snowflakes fall
The temp is dropping
Families out together shoppin'
It's the warm and fuzzy time of year
Elves are working over time
Making all our toys
Reindeer hooves on all the roofs
Of good little girls and boys
Big old cups of steamy cider
Fall asleep by a cozy fire
It's the warm and fuzzy time of year
Elves are working over time
Making all our toys
Reindeer hooves on all the roofs
Of good little girls and boys
Big old cups of steamy cider
Fall asleep by a cozy fire
It's the warm and fuzzy time of year
It's the warm and fuzzy time of year
Santa's on his way...
(I love how Billy Gilman has managed to wrap music around the feeling of the holidays!)
11/29/2007
One More Thing...
Bailey is now sleeping through the night, in her own room. It was a very, very easy transition.
B has been sleeping in her crib for about three months now. Up until a week and a half ago, that crib was in our room, right next to our bed. At night, we would have to sneak into the room and avoid the creaks in the floors and do everything in the dark and then whisper so quietly in bed that we barely heard each other. And still, she woke up. Every little peep out of her caused me to jump up. I was constantly reinserting the binky into her mouth and checking to make sure that her little fusses didn't turn into all out wails that would wake us all up for hours.
Turns out, all that maintenance was wasted time.
After our trip to Hershey, when Bailey didn't sleep AT ALL in the hotel, we dropped her off at daycare and feverishly moved her into her own room. Our exhausted minds didn't give a shit if she cried all night long - we were going to get some rest in our bed, in our room and WITHOUT being constantly woken up. 6 and a half months was long enough.
(One side note - Bailey is not a breast fed child, and hasn't been eating at night for a long time. She goes to sleep around 7 and doesn't need to eat again until sometime between 6 and 7:30 when she wakes up.)
That night, we wore her out with a little help from Karen (who walked her around and around our house...yep, Bailey is up on her feet regularly!). By the time it was bed, B Bear could barely keep her eyes open. I cuddled her, gave her a bottle and then when the bottle was done, I held her to my chest. She laid her head down on my shoulder, wrapped her fingers into my hair, sucked on her binky and fell fast asleep. When I heard her snoring, I brought her to the crib, laid her down and covered her up. After that, I left the room.
The first few nights were difficult. Around 3, Bailey would wake up and freak out. I could only take listening to her scream for about 45 minutes before I would go hold her until she went back to sleep.
Then, one night, I just got over it. She cried a lot that night. That was the worst night. But the next night, and every night after that, Bailey has slept through the night. She wakes up and fusses for a few minutes every now and then, but she always puts herself back to sleep. She is able to find her binky in the night and has perfected reinserting it into her mouth on her own. Now that we've created a pattern, I have a standing rule of a half hour. If Bailey were to ever cry for longer than a half hour without falling back asleep, I'll go in and check on her. So far, in 10 days, that hasn't had to happen.
And, it's a dream. Kelly and I actually get to talk like normal adults. Our room is our own again. We sleep peacefully. We can laugh and play in bed. We can shower with the door open in the morning without the light bothering anyone. We can get dressed in our bedroom instead of the hot, steamy bathroom. We can talk. Have I mentioned that? We can actually use our voices like normal human adults and have a conversation.
There really are some awesome benefits to having your child get older. It's sad to lose those incredibly needy infant days (for some people, anyway...not really for me, though...but that is a different blog), but it sure is nice to gain back some of that Independence that comes with having an older child.
It's just been wonderful!
B has been sleeping in her crib for about three months now. Up until a week and a half ago, that crib was in our room, right next to our bed. At night, we would have to sneak into the room and avoid the creaks in the floors and do everything in the dark and then whisper so quietly in bed that we barely heard each other. And still, she woke up. Every little peep out of her caused me to jump up. I was constantly reinserting the binky into her mouth and checking to make sure that her little fusses didn't turn into all out wails that would wake us all up for hours.
Turns out, all that maintenance was wasted time.
After our trip to Hershey, when Bailey didn't sleep AT ALL in the hotel, we dropped her off at daycare and feverishly moved her into her own room. Our exhausted minds didn't give a shit if she cried all night long - we were going to get some rest in our bed, in our room and WITHOUT being constantly woken up. 6 and a half months was long enough.
(One side note - Bailey is not a breast fed child, and hasn't been eating at night for a long time. She goes to sleep around 7 and doesn't need to eat again until sometime between 6 and 7:30 when she wakes up.)
That night, we wore her out with a little help from Karen (who walked her around and around our house...yep, Bailey is up on her feet regularly!). By the time it was bed, B Bear could barely keep her eyes open. I cuddled her, gave her a bottle and then when the bottle was done, I held her to my chest. She laid her head down on my shoulder, wrapped her fingers into my hair, sucked on her binky and fell fast asleep. When I heard her snoring, I brought her to the crib, laid her down and covered her up. After that, I left the room.
The first few nights were difficult. Around 3, Bailey would wake up and freak out. I could only take listening to her scream for about 45 minutes before I would go hold her until she went back to sleep.
Then, one night, I just got over it. She cried a lot that night. That was the worst night. But the next night, and every night after that, Bailey has slept through the night. She wakes up and fusses for a few minutes every now and then, but she always puts herself back to sleep. She is able to find her binky in the night and has perfected reinserting it into her mouth on her own. Now that we've created a pattern, I have a standing rule of a half hour. If Bailey were to ever cry for longer than a half hour without falling back asleep, I'll go in and check on her. So far, in 10 days, that hasn't had to happen.
And, it's a dream. Kelly and I actually get to talk like normal adults. Our room is our own again. We sleep peacefully. We can laugh and play in bed. We can shower with the door open in the morning without the light bothering anyone. We can get dressed in our bedroom instead of the hot, steamy bathroom. We can talk. Have I mentioned that? We can actually use our voices like normal human adults and have a conversation.
There really are some awesome benefits to having your child get older. It's sad to lose those incredibly needy infant days (for some people, anyway...not really for me, though...but that is a different blog), but it sure is nice to gain back some of that Independence that comes with having an older child.
It's just been wonderful!
She's Trying...
Our Bailey is trying SO HARD to crawl. She gets up on all fours and rocks back and forth. She crawls backwards, but she can't put it all together and move forward yet. Eventually, she just gives up, flops on her belly and fusses while waving her arms and legs back and forth.
I laugh at her.
Does that make me a horrible mother???
I also get down on the floor and encourage her to come to me and clap when she moves and I try to give her incentives to make it happen. Any day now we are going to have a crawling child.
I CAN'T WAIT!!!
Speaking of clapping...she now claps her hands when she is given something that she likes. It's the absolute sweetest thing in the entire world! Since she's been old enough to focus on us, we have clapped while saying "yeaaaaa!!!!". Now, she does it too. So sweet.
Finally - Bailey clearly says "Mum mum mum mum" when she is distressed. She won't say it on command and she doesn't mimic us when we say it to her. But when she is nervous or sad or upset about something she clearly says it while looking at us (she doesn't seem to decipher which one of us is Mom...which is GREAT!). It's usually combined with her burying her head in our necks or rubbing her eyes.
Super sweet.
I can't believe that she is almost 7 months old. How the hell did that happen????
I laugh at her.
Does that make me a horrible mother???
I also get down on the floor and encourage her to come to me and clap when she moves and I try to give her incentives to make it happen. Any day now we are going to have a crawling child.
I CAN'T WAIT!!!
Speaking of clapping...she now claps her hands when she is given something that she likes. It's the absolute sweetest thing in the entire world! Since she's been old enough to focus on us, we have clapped while saying "yeaaaaa!!!!". Now, she does it too. So sweet.
Finally - Bailey clearly says "Mum mum mum mum" when she is distressed. She won't say it on command and she doesn't mimic us when we say it to her. But when she is nervous or sad or upset about something she clearly says it while looking at us (she doesn't seem to decipher which one of us is Mom...which is GREAT!). It's usually combined with her burying her head in our necks or rubbing her eyes.
Super sweet.
I can't believe that she is almost 7 months old. How the hell did that happen????
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