Lessons Learned

Over the past three weeks, I've learned a whole lot. I was giggling this morning looking at pictures of us in the hospital. We knew nothing!!!! Not that we know a whole lot more now, but the crash course that is early parenting has taught us something...

1) No matter when she last peed, Bailey will inevitably pee again as soon as her diaper is taken off.

2) There is nothing on TV at 3 AM in the morning except "Whose Wedding Is It Anyway"...and I'm not very interested in that show.

3) Sometimes, Bailey just doesn't want to be held.

4) There is no size standardization in infant clothes. It's weird.

5) EVERYBODY has an opinion about EVERYTHING. And everyone thinks that we want to hear it.

6) The biggest tragedy in Bailey's life is when her pacifier falls out of her mouth before she is fully asleep.

7) Or when she can't eat immediately.

8) Sex is just never going to happen again. How do second babies get made????

9) Being a human mattress isn't so bad.

10) Watching a child fall asleep is the most wonderful experience in the world.

11) Formula-fed babies do NOT always sleep better.

12) Formula-fed babies have HORRIBLY stinky poop.

13) Formula is really freakin' expensive.

14) Never say never. "I'll never..." doesn't work. You WILL when push comes to shove and you're exhausted...

15) Everyone will remember all the things you said you were never going to do...and laugh at you when you do them.

16) Don't waste your money on stimulating toys...all your baby really needs is a ceiling fan (the giant mobile in the sky) and an old striped tee shirt you haven't worn in years.

17) While Bailey's attention span is only about a minute, this doesn't apply to wanting to be held, wanting to be fed or needing to be changed. She can carry on about those things for HOURS.

18) When push comes to shove, I can type in lots of weird positions.

19) Holding Bailey for hours hurts.

20) Any song that mentions a child is reason to cry.

21) Crying while trying to drive is not safe.

22) I never realized that I would fall in love with Kelly over and over again every time I see her with our child.

23) Sometimes being Momma sucks.

24) Bailey can go from sound asleep in my arms to wide awake and pissed off in the time it takes for me to walk her to the bed to lay her down.

25) On those rare occasions when she does sleep independently, I have to fight myself not to pick her up.

26) The vacuum cleaner really does NOT wake up sleeping children. It's amazing.

27) Eating one-handed isn't all that difficult with a little practice.

28) The only good show on television during the day is Ellen...

29) Unfortunately, I know WAY TOO MUCH about Days of Our Lives.

30) And last but not least, pregnancy hormones become birth hormones...and now they seem to be shifting to parenting hormones. How in the hell can just looking at our daughter make me see her and imagine her first day of kindergarten, her high school graduation, her first date, her prom, her wedding...and how can all these things make me feel like it's all moving too fast???