Splat

There isn't much to say. I woke up in a great mood this morning after having spent a wonderful night sleeping. I didn't wake up until 3:53 AM (only 7 short minutes before my alarm). Which meant that from 8 PM until that time, I slept deeply and soundly without waking up from numb arms or a full bladder.

Blissful.

Perhaps my body heard my desperate need for some normalcy and granted me one night of good rest.

I'll take it.

I'm really excited about next week. On Wednesday, we have our 20 week ultra sound (we really will be 20 weeks that day!). I'm so excited to see the baby again. I've been feeling him/her more and more. It is still mainly vibration-like feelings in my lower tummy. Strange feelings - kind of like the washing machine is on spin cycle in another part of the house, causing me to vibrate slightly. (I know...I said it was strange). Every now and then I feel something more like a "flutter", although that has been extremely rare. Just last night, though, I felt two pronouced baby kicks. I say baby kicks, because they were small. If I hadn't been nearly asleep, I would have missed them. I was laying on my side, rubbing Kelly's back. I had sort of fallen into her and was laying more on my tummy than my side. The baby tolerated that pretty well for a while, but apparently got tired of his/her space being encroached on because s/he gave a kick right at the part of my belly that was laying against the bed. I immediately rolled off my tummy and giggled. Then, the baby kicked me again - as if to say "Mine, Mamma...mine!". I woke Kelly up! It was very exciting.

Those are the little moments that I'm living for right now. In the sea of a difficult pregnancy, they are the life rafts that pull me from week to week. And, of course, the loving devotion of my Kelly. It amazes me that one person can be so strong for both of us. If I ever hear anyone say that Kelly has never been through pregnancy, I'll knock 'em out. Kelly's been there. She's been through the worst of this shit with me and she's the reason that I can still smile and enjoy some of it. I think that some partners just let their pregnant partner go through it. They are not there every day asking questions, being involved. They don't wake up in the middle of the night just to ask how I'm feeling because I moved around. They don't eat random food (think soy hotdogs and yogurt for dinner) because their partner can't stand the smell of anything. They don't encourage their partners to sleep, "Woman, nap...you need it", in the middle of a Saturday. They don't do all of the little things that have made this tolerable.

I'm very, very lucky. I'm loved by a woman who trusts me with the most important thing we will ever do. I get to carry our child, and I get to bring him or her into this world. And I get to do this with the love of my life, and the Mommy of my children by my side.

Wow.