Momma Time

A lovely weekend was had by all (except Kelly...more on that later). My mom flew in for a conference on Saturday morning. Kelly, Bailey and I all drove to the airport to fetch her. What a wonderful thing it is to see my mother. It always makes me feel like a bit of my heart has been rejoined with the rest. Bailey had just woken up from her nap (she almost always sleeps in the car) and regarded her Grammie with a great deal of suspiciousness. Nothing I did from the passenger's seat could make her crack a smile. Her pursed little eyes never wavered from Grammie...but not a smile to be seen.

She warmed up over time, of course. Our daughter spends a good bit of time taking the measure of a person before she will spend any time charming you. But once you're in...watch out!

Saturday was spent just hanging out. Bailey is always a bunch of work, but it was a lovely chore with my mom around to see her interacting with her world. She napped a bit, we all hung out. It was nice. After putting Bailey to bed, and getting Kelly some oatmeal, my mom and I set out to satisfy my craving for steak and a martini. We spent a couple of hours dining and talking (I had the most wonderful "Appleicious Martini" and a delightful ribeye). We topped it off with a piece of shared cheesecake. It was extremely relaxing and reminded me of the parts of my mother I miss the most, and of what we gave up when we decided not to move to Maine. It would be nice to be able to have dinner with my Mom a couple times a month.

Sunday was a mamouth day of getting shit done, taking care of my wife and entertaining Bailey. After getting up at 5 AM to spend a few minutes with Mom, I left for the city to drop her off at her conference hotel. When I left, both of my girls were still in bed (and I expected them to stay that way until I got back...it was only 6 AM!!!). But the best laid plans...Bailey woke up shortly after we left. Kelly tried to ignore her to get her to fall back asleep (usually works), but this time, I didn't. She really believed she was ready to get up (she wasn't). Kelly popped out of bed (bad, bad idea) and managed to get her dressed and downstairs in her high chair eating. Kelly started to eat herself (a very small bowl of cereal), when she vomited for the first time during this pregnancy. The problem is that Kelly NEVER gets out of bed without eating first. And it's a substantial breakfast usually - I bring her oatmeal or cream of wheat. And the eating/waking process takes her about a half hour...and that is just so that she feels good enough to stand and make it to the shower.

She called me after vomiting, wondering where I was. I was just dropping Mom off, so still in the city and at least 45 minutes away. She muddled through and I flew home. Bailey, who had insisted so stridently that she wanted to be awake, was simply exhausted when I got home and Kelly, who shouldn't have been up in the first place, was sicker than she's been yet. I took over, sending Kelly to the bathroom to shower and think about her next meal. After about a half hour it became obvious that Bailey needed to go back to bed. She went down without a fuss. I went to pick up a quiche for Kelly and then mowed the lawn while Bailey napped. I showered. I got the house picked up. Kelly hung out, trying to will herself into feeling better. When Bailey woke up, we ate and then Bailey and I headed out. We shopped, we played, we had a good time. While we were gone, Kelly was able to get the laundry mostly done and the upstairs vacuumed. Sweet wife that she is.

So it goes. Today, I am playing hooky. It's Momma-day. I took myself out for breakfast, bought shoes for the dress that I'm wearing to my brother's wedding next month, have read for hours and am about to take a nap. When I wake, I'm going to take a bath. Oh yes. I do love a Momma-day.

To sum up a very long story...we're good. Kelly is sick as hell and we're getting through it. She's emotionally exhausted from feeling like shit and from having her entire world simply stop and focus on being sick. She's physically exhausted from being pregnant, from not being able to sleep at night, and from trying to pretend she feels normal on some level. Without a doubt, this pregnancy is kicking her ass. I comfort where I can, make food and try to carry her load...but this is, in many ways, a solitary journey. I can only offer my understanding and try to help her through it. We both know it is time limited. For her sake, I hope that time is sooner rather than later.

Bailey is good. She's normal. She's doing her thing. She's funny, charming, sweet, challenging and exactly what I would expect a toddler to be.

And I'm hanging in there. As I told my mom on Saturday night, the best part about this entire difficult pregnancy while Bailey is in a challenging age is that for the first time in nearly 3 years...I feel strong again. I feel in control, happy, capable and like I am finally being the woman I've always known myself to be. That's a good feeling.