Homophobia at Daycare

So last night, while we are talking on the phone to one of Bailey's old childcare providers at the daycare (from the room she moved out of just recently), it was mentioned that the way her new teachers tell us apart is by referring to us a "the mom" and "the dad."

*sigh*

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate homophobia? Or that I REALLY hate it when it is based mostly in pure ignorance?

I don't believe that these women mean any harm. To them, Kelly's short hair probably indicates that she is "the man" in our relationship. My make up, big boobs and longer hair probably means I'm "the woman". I honestly believe that they mean no harm in the reference.

BUT.

No harm meant does not excuse homophobia. At all.

So, here is the conversation that I am going to have with the director of the center, the assistant director of the center and the head teacher in Bailey's classroom:

"I realize that you probably do not mean any harm by referring to Kelly as "the dad", but what I need for you to understand is that referring to Kelly as any kind of male figure is degrading and just plain wrong. Bailey has two mothers. I am Momma and Kelly is Mommy. If you can't remember those labels, our names will do just fine. I'm Mikki and she is Kelly. The bigger issue, other than the degrading reference, is that Bailey should never have to feel like her family is being called into question or is being reshaped by your language. Bailey does not have a "dad" and that is perfectly fine. Instead, she has two mothers. Her challenges at placing her family within the narrowly defined hetersexual "norm" in society will be difficult enough, without her childcare providers adding to that challenge. We expect you to be a partner in raising our child, just as you expect us to aid in your efforts with Bailey. If you cannot accept our family dynamic and celebrate it with Bailey than we will pull her from this care facility and find one that can."

How's that? Does that mask my blood-boiling anger enough that they might actually hear me? Because my next step is to take this up the chain of command and create a big fucking stink all through the Childtime Corporation.