So...We Partied

We ended up going out on Friday. Our baby girl was sound asleep the entire time and we felt like it was good. So, after putting her to bed, we showered and got ready. It felt strange to both of us to be showering and doing our hair and makeup (in my case) and putting on clothes when generally, we are undressing and getting into bed around that time.

At around 10 PM we headed out to a local bar. Karen came with us and we met a couple of our friends at the bar. A wonderful all-girl rock band was playing...a band that has a HUGE lesbian following. They apparently travel wherever this group goes, so there are "regulars" even though the bar where they are at keeps changing. We had a "reserved" table in honor of Kelly's birthday.

We had fun. Kelly drank a couple of beers (I was driving). In between sets, the DJ played hip hop club music. Some people danced. It was a good time, all told.

What struck me, though, and what Kelly and I talked about after is that not much changes in a lesbian community. My Kelly has spent a lot more time in gay bars than I have and a WHOLE LOT more time around bar-going lesbian women. All night long, she just did what she does best...she watched people and took in what was going on. And when she says "nothing changes" and "all lesbians in every bar I've ever been too always look the same", I trust her.

What I figured out, and was dismayed to realize, is that what I'm looking for, I'll never find. I've been searching for a replacement for those years when I partied with Jocelyn or Erika or Steph or Max. Years when going out was just what you did, stumbling home was fine and sleeping until noon the next day to get up and eat a greesy omlet to go back to back and sleep some more was fine. I've been looking for the days when the baby didn't wake up at 6:30 AM even if you were exhausted and when the stage coach didn't turn into a pumkin at midnight.

In other words, I've been looking for something that I'll never, ever find. And now that I've been out again, seen the same old girls looking for the same old things and dancing to the same old music and drinking the same old beer and playing the same old games, I think that I'm happy to just hang out with my good friends and my wife and drink a bottle of wine. Maybe. We'll see.