Random Thoughts

Here is my radical idea for the day - let's outlaw all divorce, except where a person can prove just cause. By "just cause" I mean abuse in some form or another. In order to start to eradicate adultery, I think that we should charge a fine. If you are caught cheating on your spouse, you owe $2000. And that $2000 has to be earned outside of your normal source of income (so that the spouse who was cheated on isn't also having to pay). We'll have "work centers" where adulterers can go to earn the money that they have to pay in fines. Eventually, we'll weed out all the assholes who think that they should get married after knowing someone for 2 months and then act surprised when the person they married turns out to be different than they expected. I am so tired of all the holier-than-thou straight people of this world acting like they have a lock on marriage, just because they've been legally granted the rights to the title. OBVIOUSLY, with a 50% divorce rate, they've not got it all that right.

So, let's fix it. Let's take away the stupid requirement of heterosexuality and instead impose some REAL requirements on those couples who choose to make a LIFE LONG commitment to one another. In exchange for federal benefits, insurance benefits, pension and social security benefits, we should require that people actually stick together. The deal is this: if you marry your spouse before you are 100% certain that you want to go through all of life's shit with them and then change your mind later - TOO BAD. If you had wanted an "out" than don't take the freakin' vow.

I mean, honestly. Marriage isn't just a term. It's not just a legal structure. Isn't that what all this "sanctity of marriage" crap is all about? It's a vow to each other, to your children, to society. It's a way of saying, out loud, that no matter what happens, I'm in. I'm sticking with this person. Because I love them more than I love my ability to have sex with someone else, or to change my mind. More than I love my freedom to be independent. More than anything else, I love this person enough to commit my life, my heart, and my future to this person.

At least, this is my understanding of marriage. It doesn't matter how it's said. Kelly and I said our vows out loud to each other (at least the first set...) in a hot tub. But the commitment was already there. Before we got to that point, we had already decided that we were in. For better AND for worse. For the long term. No matter what. And we were able to make that decision because we knew who the other person was. All that glorious "new" had worn off. Our relationship was old and worn in by the time we made our vows to each other. I knew what I was getting...and any surprises that I've had have all been good. The person that I committed myself to was not a surprise to me. Because I took the time to get to know her before I gave her my future. And she did the same.

If more people took time, actually spent time falling in love and then falling out of love and then recommitting to the REAL person, we wouldn't have so many failed marriages.

And if you don't want to have no option, the solution is simple. DON'T GET MARRIED. But stop desecrating the vows that I take VERY, VERY seriously with your on again/off again bullshit crap that you call marriage. Just keep dating the person. Do what you want when you date someone. Wait to get married until you are sure.

How hard is that?