Positively Chipper

Amazingly, I have come through my round of the "tummy sickness" and feel positively wonderful! I actually feel happy, comfortable and in no way weird. My head doesn't hurt, I'm not too hungry, I don't have to use the rest room, I'm not tired, my belly is not wierd or upset, I have seemingly boundless energy.

It's already 8:15 in the morning and I've been up since 4 AM. I've been at work since 6:45 AM. No one else is here and four of my six co-workers are out until the new year. I've not seen the other two yet, and if this trend holds, I'm going to have a SERIOUSLY productive day today and tomorrow (and for the three days I'm in next week).

THIS is what Mikki feels like. I LOVE it that I have this much energy right now. I love it that I'm not feeling "pregnant". God, I live for these days. It seems like just when I catch my breath, I'm kicked back down. I keep waiting for it to let up (as everyone seems to think it will), but so far, I've not been that lucky. I will do everything I can to harness the good energy that is being created right now and let it carry me forward. Hopefully it will stick. And if it doesn't, hopefully I will remember what it feels like when I'm feeling bad.

I'm so full of love and happiness today. Last night, Kelly read my mind. I was feeling all bluesy and sad. Very self-destructive feelings for me. I was hating myself for being so "weak" and for not being able to handle pregnancy like my mother and my grandmother before me. I was feeling sad about my family being so far away for the holidays when I had pictured a very different event. I was feeling like a slacker for missing another day of work. I was generally feeling shitty.

But, Kelly always knows what I need. She really does. It's not like I tell her, she just figures it out. She cuddled me all night last night. We sat on the couch, our limbs entwined just talking, laughing, kissing and being close. She knows just how to touch my very soul and bring me back to a happy place. The most safe, most comfortable place that I know is in her arms. When I need to be reminded that I'm good enough to be loved, and that I'm making okay choices and that it's okay for me to be less than perfect, she is who reminds me. With her easy love and her seemingly endless stores of comfort, she makes everything okay.

So, I slept well after that. I woke up this morning feeling good. I'm incredibly excited about the holidays approaching. I'm looking forward to spending another holiday with the in-laws. I love the drive (hours spent singing with my Kelly and talking about the random things that pop into our heads).

All is well today.