What's In A Name?

Shakespeare writes: "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet." He wrote this about Romeo and Juliet. At the beginning of the play, Romeo (who is a Capulet) and Juliet (who is a Montague) are forbidden to one another because of their names - and the families that those names represented. At the beginning of the story, Romeo recites this famous line.

What, indeed, is in a name? For a lot of people, it's a heritage thing. You know, carrying on the family name. For other people, it's just the name they were given as infants. For other's is the connection to their spouse through legal marriage.

In my world, the last name that I have is the last name that my children will have. Because those children will be born of my body, they will be considered "mine", and therefore given my last name. In our society, that fact unfortunately discredits the very real presence of the other woman in their life who will be their primary parent. Kelly. In the same way that they belong to me, they belong to her. Not, perhaps, through blood, but they are bound to her by a much stronger thread. That of desire, hope and love. Kelly wants this child, and that love, devotion and committment to parenting make this baby hers as much as it is mine.

But society doesn't work that way. Those children will always be assumed to be "mine" because of my last name. Because I am the one who birthed them.

And that is just crap.

So, with our love in hand and our best intentions set forth, we changed my name legally to McFadden. Our children will be born McFadden's, and our family will consist of only McFadden's. When someone asks who the parent is, we will both answer. When the school calls, or god forbid something should happen and our child ends up in the hospital, there is one more safegaurd.

I belong with Kelly. Our children belong with Kelly. They belong with us. And Kelly belongs with me. We are a family.

Today, what we have known for years, became official. With a court document in hand, I have become Michelle McFadden.