Death Planning

Morbid, huh?

Well, Kelly and I have spent the last couple of weeks (and some more time prior to that) planning for what happens if one of us dies. This latest round was the financial side of death planning (life insurance, disability insurance, etc.) Prior to this round of planning, it was the legal side of it (making sure she gets my stuff and can make all decisions and vice versa).

Do you have any idea how hard it is to death plan when you're pregnant???

I find myself driving down the road and I'll start crying thinking about the fact that Kelly is mortal. What the hell would I do without her in my life?

I know, I know - it's not about planning for the emotional crash. It's about making sure that if she's gone, me and our little honey will be alright financially while I get back on my feet.

But try to tell my heart that. Just the thought makes me short of breath and feel like running and screaming to scare off death.

Lots of people don't do this planning because of that fear, and I won't let myself become one of them. But I understand. It's kind of like the old logic of planning for your divorce when you're still in love. (Yet another thing that Kelly and I have talked about).

So...I'll wade through it all and remind myself when the sappy Celine songs come on the radio that Kelly is not dying, she's not dead and that the simple act of planning for what happens if something happens to one of us will not cause either of those thing to happen.

God love these hormones...