I Believe

Have I mentioned that I love Christmas? We're starting to get Christmas catalouges and in some of the larger stores there are christmas displays. Hell, even Target has their Christmas stuff out. Sometimes, early in the morning, when I'm standing and waiting for the bus, I can smell Christmas on the air. If you've never smelled Christmas, I don't know how to explain it. It's a feeling. A magical feeling that produces a smell.

So, what does all this have to do with my pregnancy?

Well, this year I find myself thinking more and more about tradition and the history of Christmas in my life and in the lives of those around me. I am so excited that I get to be a Momma with the love of my life and that we get to share with our child (children, someday) the magic that is Christmas.

For some this holiday is sad, or lonely or just plain meaningless. Most people have memories of gifts and a tree and some tradition, but not many have the type of memories that I have. My mother made Christmas magical beyond all belief when we were kids. Part of that is simply that I choose to believe in Santa Clause. Yes, that was meant to be present-tense. I buy it all. The flying reindeer, the bowl full of jelly belly, the long white beard, the sneaking down the chimney (or using magic to create a chimney/fireplace). Yep, I buy it all. I WANT to believe it and I always have. And my mom let me. She stoked the fires of my imagination and she made Christmas Eve and Christmas morning the most amazing times in my life.

There are some traditions that I'll carry forward - there will always be a bowl of peanut M&M's put out on Christmas Eve morning and our children will not be limited in how many they eat. The "one gift" on Christmas Eve will always be footy pajamas - even if our kids hate them. Cookies will be left out and carrots for the riendeer.

Some traditions will be new. Kelly and I will always make homemade cards with the kids. We like the idea of selecting one wrapping paper for each person and wrapping all the gifts in that. We'll leave our tree up for a little longer than my family did.

But the magic will stay the same. I want our kids to feel the same wonder that I did. I want them to love, anticipate and wait for the holiday. I want them to start coloring pictures of Christmas trees in September, and to start their holiday letters to Santa in October.

And I, as the believer in our family and as my Momma's Christmas Angel, will do all I can to stoke the flames of their imagination and to keep the fires of belief burning as long as I can. Because what is childhood if you can't believe in something as pure and as wonderful as the magic of Christmas?

Let the holidays begin!