Such a BAD Blogger

These days it seems that I'm busier living my life than recording it. Which, in some ways, is good.

Everything in our house is status quo. Updates below...

Bailey

Bailey is a straight up typical two year old right now. A typical two year old with the vocabulary of a 3 year old and the attitude of...well...me! She's a hot shit and she's hard to take, usually in the same moment. She's developing in leaps and bounds right now. One day she will learn something and the next day it is mastered. It's the little things that get me - like the fact that she is swinging on the big kid swings at the playground instead of the little things. And how every night she picks out her own clothes for the next day and tells us what she wants for breakfast. Potty training is right on track - she uses the potty regularly at home and pretty much exclusively at school. She is still in pullups all the time - we haven't gotten that far, but more often than not, they are dry. She still requests diapers on the weekend, and we still let her have that, but she uses the potty most of the time. She has moved from having to be told to telling us when she needs to go pee. She knows that she will get chocolate (sugar-free most of the time) when she goes and she likes that motivation. The day when diapers for two are the thing are getting closer and closer to being gone. In the next month or so, we will introduce panties and I think that will jump it up. We are not pushing this one - she is doing this all on her own. I've found, that with Bailey, this is the way to go with the potty...and she's doing it. Our "goal" of having her potty trained when she is 2 1/2 seems to be right on track...but again, I don't really care. She is still throwing fits a lot. She is so fucking intense. Sometimes I just want to bang my head against the wall and throw a fit myself. Sometimes I do. She and I fight like...well...two year olds. Kelly reminds me in these moments that I am, in fact, not two. Even though I wish I could be. It seems to be a hallmark of the relationship that Bailey and I have that we will fight like hell and love just as hard. Hot and cold. It's appropriate. Kelly is either the queen shit to Bailey right now or she is just shit. Bailey seems to go back and forth and often, her desire to have Kelly be her primary in any given moment is based on whether or not she is pissed off at me. This is hard for both Kelly and I, but we both realize that it's developmental. It's still hard. I get frustrated on Kelly's behalf and have to remember that Bailey doesn't understand complex emotions yet. She is so advanced and I want to advance her even further. Kelly takes it better than I do, of course. She's better at these things. All in all, Bailey is who she is right now and that is both a fantastic thing and a trying, challenging thing. She seems to be right on track where she needs to be, and that means we're doing something right.

Connor

Connor continues his reign of super-happy, super-easy baby boy. He's still a doll and he's still as laid back as he ever has been. Often, I think Kelly and I both feel that he gets shunted to the side as we negotiate his high-spirited sister. We both make an effort in this area, and I feel like we've done a good job. In some ways, he will just get some of that. After all, he's not the first and our attention is divided. That's just a reality. He's a big boy - wearing 9-12 month clothes and he's only 5 months old. He's beginning the transition into solid foods. Right now, he eats a jar of fruit in the morning and veggies mixed with rice in the evening. Some days he eats better than others. Sometimes nothing will make him happy except Kelly's breast - other times he turns away from her breast for food. We've so far given him bananas, apples, carrots and sweet potatoes. No allergies yet and no upset tummy. He's also on rice cereal. This weekend we will transition him into oatmeal and start mixing the oatmeal with the fruit in the morning. Every 3-4 days we add something new. This is my area - Kelly has left the decision and the timings up to me. I love figuring out what comes next. I think I might try peas or green beans next. A green veggie. The next fruit will be prunes. He's still in stage 1 food and will be for another 2-3 weeks, I suspect. The benchmark is sitting unsupported by himself. Speaking of those benchmarks - he's right on track. He sits for a few seconds unsupported, but no longer falls completely over. He sort of leans and needs to be righted. He's getting there. He is trying very, very hard to crawl - he's got all the right motions. In another month or so, he'll have it figured out. Connor doesn't get as much tummy time as Bailey did. For starters, it's hard to leave your infant on the floor with a two year old running around and three cats. And then, couple that with the fact that we just simply don't have the time to sit on the floor for a long period of time and supervise the situation. There is always shit to do. But he gets some time each night. I wear him when we get home - he makes dinner with me. It's the one thing that we do each night and I think he enjoys the time. I did the same thing with Bailey. It's my time to whisper in his ear and tell him all about what we are doing. He likes washing dishes with me and gets very excited when I open the fridge. In general, his personality is just laid back. If we allowed it, he would like nothing more than to be propped up and watching Barney or Elmo with Bailey. He LOVES the TV in a way that is almost obscene. He could spend hours there, happily zoning out to the bright colors and music. We don't allow it - he spends his time with us or in his excersaucer or jumper. Sometimes he'll spin the seat and watch TV...but TV is never his primary form of entertainment. Much like is Mommy, Connor is nosy. He struggles to breastfeed when we are all around - the noises and the action from Bailey are very distracting for him. He wants to see what is going on. He doesn't necessarily want to be a part of it, but he wants to be able to observe. He's very much like Kelly.

Momma & Mommy

I think, all told, we're doing well in this parenting thing. Every day we figure it out a little more and the gunk that is a new baby junking up the routine is beginning to fade into an ordered method of parenting. We're so much better at multi-tasking now that we have two. We've also gotten much better at the conquer and divide thing. We alway did things together when it was just Bailey. With two, that just doesn't make sense. We divide it up and get it done more quickly, leaving more time for us. We are also getting better at just relaxing and letting things happen as they will. While we always work within a schedule, we are better at being free-flowing. Things seems to have gotten more normal. We are also making more of an effort to be a couple and not just a parenting team. We are spending more time together, snuggling more in the evening, and making plans for dates. It's slow - any new thing added to our life takes a bit of time to work it's way in. But we are doing it and we are better for it. I think I can speak for both of us when I say that "we" have gotten so much better. And it is reflected in everything.

Mikki & Kelly

There isn't much going on in the side of our lives that are not connected to parenting. I got some pretty exciting news yesterday that hasn't panned out yet. I am super excited, but can't share or talk about it until it's firm. So, that'll keep you coming back. We are both ready for our vacation in early September. We need the time off, the easy time with the kids and the connection to my family. It'll be good.

That's all for now!

Fast and Slow

It's funny how sometimes I feel like there is so much happening, and yet time is moving quite slowly. This is one of those times.

There isn't much new to report. Connor had his first meal of carrots and rice on Monday night. He had a meal of carrots last night. We will start him on bananas this weekend and begin to establish a morning/night feeding ritual. I'm sure it will quickly snowball into full on feeding all the time. He loved it both times, eating all that we offered. We're taking it slow in order to minimize any transition issues that he may have moving from breast milk to food. We tried just cereal, mixed with breast milk and he didn't like that. Kelly's sister suggested using formula to mix the cereal. We may try that. Simply put, Connor loves eating. He thinks it funny, giggling and enjoying himself immensely every time we put food near him. It's such a joy to finally be able to take an active part in the ritual of feeding my son. It's something I have missed hugely and I am happy that he is now ready to eat in a way that facilitates my participation.

With that said, he's still getting up once a night to eat - the last couple of days it has been in the wee morning hours (2 on Monday night, 3 last night). The food just isn't sticking long enough and he obviously wakes up hungry. We decided last night that for now, we will have a four-hour rule. What that means is that if he wakes up fussing within 4 hours of his last feeding, we will let him cry for 7 minutes before we respond. If he wakes up fussing and it's been longer than 4 hours, we will respond immediately. This is our first attempts at letting the little man of the house figure out how to put himself back to sleep. Of course, as time goes on (and time in baby terms is really usually only weeks and sometimes days) we'll reevaluate and change it up as needed.

Can you tell that Kelly and I are driven by schedules, goals and structure? In order to have a manageable night time response, we have to figure out a way to handle it that has measurable goals and certain outcomes. We can lay there and listen to him cry if we have set a goal and have a limit (in this case, four hours and 7 minutes of crying). But if we don't have limites like that, we end up laying there listening to him cry and getting more and more irriated. Then we fight. We have learned a lot since Bailey was this age.

For the record - we used the cry it out method with Bailey to great success and will use it again with Connor. We have been really good about not setting Connor's limits around what they were with Bailey. The two children are completely different and respond differently. Where Bailey was driven to always reach the next milestone, Connor seems much happier just drifting along. He seems to reach each new place as if by accident and is then delighted when he discovers he can do something new. He takes such joy in the world. So, for him, this schedule will be our guide for now and we'll change it up when he's ready.

Bailey seems to be pushing every limit there is. She has begun the process of doing something that she knows she cannot do and then looking at us to see if she got caught. Last night, she hit Pitter with a pillow. This has been a reccuring theme. Partly, it is because Pitter is the only one of our three cats who comes around her. The other two flee. But Pitter puts herself, literally, under your feet and demands attention. This annoys us all. But it seems to really grate on Bailey. So she has started to get a bit aggressive with her, and we have responded by becoming increasingly insistent that she not be aggressive. So on Monday night, she clocked Pitter with a puzzle piece. The resulting time out caused a massive meltdown that led to her eventually being taken upstairs, given her bath and put to bed without any further playing. So then last night, she pulls a pillow off the couch and clocks Pitter with it, and then looks up at me smiling. Of course, I responded by immediately putting her in timeout. She started the process of falling out and I went back on my general approach and reminded her that if she melted down, she would go to bed without any further playing. This seemed to help remind her of the consequences and after 4 false starts, she finally served her timeout appropriately.

This all just serves to remind Kelly and I that we have a hell of a little girl. She is intense and determined. I can think of many times in her life when these qualities will be huge assets and I am so glad they are present. It also means that we have to be just as strong. Unfortunately, the boundries that we must set up for her have to be rigid. She doesn't understand fluidity and flexibility only gives her enough rope to hang herself. She operates best in a structured environment that forces her to focus and stay focused. Of course, she gets tons of free time and free play - that's not what I'm talking about. It's about the rules and requirements for her behavior. If there is ever a crack in the rules, she exploits it immediately. And then she gets very upset about being punished. In fairness to her, we must keep the rules 100% consistent and the punishment swift and fair and expected. She knows she will get a timeout if she hits. Period. And even when it's inconvenient (like when I have dinner cooking), we have to make it work.

That's all for now. Not much else going on....

Sickness

Well, all of Connor's issues can be explained by the fact that he was developing a double ear infection and two teeth were popping through. He did not sleep at all on Tuesday night. He was up every 20-40 minutes and what rest he did get was in our arms. We were exhausted and I took Wednesday off to be with him. I got him into the doctors and it was a double ear infection. Added on top of that are the two teeth that are trying really hard to break through and he has a cold. No wonder the poor guy couldn't sleep!!!

He's been in quite a bit of pain and we are not shy about using Tylenol. It helps. He makes it very clear when he's hurting and about 40 minutes after giving him Tylenol, he feels better. We rub his gums as well, but he's not a huge fan. Being a breast fed baby, he wants to suckle everything.

We decided to go with a round of anitbiotics for his ears, because honestly, we didn't have the few days to wait it out and see if it would clear up on his own. We can't go without sleep.

Two days later, he's like a new boy. Our smiler is back. He's still not sleeping great, but that is becasue the Tylenol wears off. He doesn't seem to deal very well with pain...but then, what baby does?

Bailey finally went pee on the potty at home!!!!! We've been working on it for a couple of months now, and she finally did it! She's asked a number of times to sit and we, of course, allow it. She hasn't made any progress up until last night. Now the real potty training begins. We'll have to start being diligent about it. I'm thinking of pulling out the stop watch and taking her to the potty every 45 minutes or so. M&M's for every time she goes. I'm hoping to have her potty trained by the end of the summer...

That's all for now. I'm hoping that Kelly and I will make it out to see Harry Potter this weekend. We were going to wait until next weekend, and we still may, but I'm super anxious to see the movie. So I'm hoping to convince her to do it this weekend...we got another babysitter from Bailey's school. It makes me feel SOOOO comfortable knowing she's with her teachers when we leave her.

That's all for now!

She and He

She is going through a terrible, terrible phase. Everything is said in a whine. Everything that is not said in a whine is said in a demand, usually accompanied by the thrusting of her hand (as if she is hitting us). She is hard to keep happy. She isn't eating very well and would rather have popcycles and pieces of cheese than just about anything. She refuses to move foward with potty training. She is obsessed with "creams" of all kinds for any kind of wound, bug bite or diaper rash. She is all about me and is downright mean to Kelly. She loves and hates Connor in equal proportions. She is ridiculously obsessed with Barney in a way that makes me want to cry.

He is either in a growth spurt or is changing his eating habits, because one day he is fine and the next day he eats like a demon. We don't know if we should start cereal or not and the one time we tried, he vomited it all up. Speaking of vomit - he does it often, and generally on me. It's gross and even more disgusting that I walk around all night with vomit on my clothes. He rolls over, but then forgets that he can roll back, so he fusses until someone comes to pick him up. Speaking of picking him up - he generally won't be left alone right now. 100% interaction is what he wants. He's sleeping like shit - either because of the growth spurt or because of the rolling issue, we're not sure. He's up a lot at night and then gets up super early in the morning. This morning it was 3 AM. He seems to sleep alright in his swing. Downstairs. Leaving one of us (generally me) sleeping on the couch. When he is in a good mood, he's all about grabbing, drooling and thrusting about, making it hard and drippy to hold him. And he's big, so wearing him in the front carrier, while always a good option, hurts like a bitch.

We are tired, grumpy, sick of children and both of us are slammed at work. It's summer and everyone else is moving slower or on vacation. We're working harder and exhausted. We want a break and can't have one. We'd love to just ditch the kids with someone for a day, but working parent guilt prevents us from doing that and feeling okay about it. We are finally rediscovering each other after a long, long pregnancy and Connor's first months, but we're too tired to really do it. Kelly is struggling with worry over her milk supply and we want to keep Connor breast fed only until he's 6 months. We don't know if it'll happen.

And there is always fucking dishes, cat litter to be scooped, laundry to be done, toys to be picked up, breakfast and dinner to be made, diapers to be changed, endless spills to be wiped up and never, ever enough fucking time.

Crib Time!

Connor was moved out of his pack n' play last night and into his big-boy crib that he will be in until he's in a toddler bed!!!! The crib is still in our room for another few months. He did AWESOME - slept great and even rolled over onto his tummy at some point.

Our baby boy blue is growing up so fast!!!!!

Some Funny Tidbits

Because I can't seem to put two coherent thoughts together these days, I provide you with just a few simple tidbits of information to keep you coming back!

1) Bailey is brilliant. This was confirmed on the 4th of July when she took her M&M cookies and dipped them in the pool. One of the party goers finally figured out what she was doing. She was dissolving the cookie to get to the M&Ms - the wet cookie broke away from the candy clean and she was left with a nugget of chocolate. Brilliant!

2) We call Connor "babababa boy"...because he's blowing bubbles and saying "babababa" a lot.

3) Bailey calls her fingers by the names designated in the song about fingers. Thumbkin is my favorite. Particularly when she comes over to me and tells me that she has "hurt my thumbkin".

4) Connor has mastered rolling over and cannot be more proud of himself. The second he is on the floor, he rolls over...and over...and over. Only a matter of time before he's crawling. God help us.

5) Bailey loves to dance. She gets it all moving and makes me want to dance too. So I do. It's so much fun to "shake my sillys out" with Bailey. It's even more fun when Mommy joins in.

6) Connor and Bailey are the light of our lives right now. There are no other words that can describe it.